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EPPS Re-Structuring
Topic Started: Jul 22 2014, 01:32:26 PM (695 Views)
Tim
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Salt King
The East Pacific Police Service
New Management, New Game, New Wine Cellar



New Management

Hello Citizens of The East Pacific!

I'm the new Police Commissioner, Tim. Ever since initially joining the East Pacific Police Service, it has been my pride to oppress dissidents, punish adspammers, and instill fear in the hearts of those with secrets to hide. Now at the helm of the organization I was once a simply officer in, I feel that it would be improper of me to do anything but take my previous work and exponentially increase the amount of it that happens. Right now, on the scale of oppressive Police Forces, I see the EPPS somewhere around the level of the New York Police Department. That is a good beginning, but we can do better. I wish to see our levels of oppression hit those of the Brazilian Police Force. Only then can we unlock our true potential and instill fear in the hearts of dissidents like TDU Recruiter. The Security of the East Pacific paramount, and the EPPS will ensure it with extreme prejudice.

First of all, before I start explaining my plans, I'd like to thank God-Emperor for his fantastic service as Police Commissioner over the past months. His service has been exemplary, and The East Pacific's security has been as strong as ever under his watchful eyes. I wish him all the best of luck as Provost, and hope I can fill his shoes in this position. Hail God Emperor, Hail The East Pacific Police Service, Hail The East Pacific! o/

New Game

This isn't really a new game, as a different take on the same game we've got going on right now. As Police Commissioner, my goal is to make the EPPS more fluid, more flexible, and more inclusive for new members. I want to get everyone involved, even if it is just being the one designated to serve somebody an AdSpam Notice on a certain day. In clearer terms, here's what this will mean:

Rank Structure

Right now, the way we have it set up, each Corporal is essentially the overseer to a group of Police Officers. I like this and plan to continue it. At the moment, I am not announcing any Promotions/Demotions from any ranks, as I still have to think about how I will be doing it. However, it's safe to assume that my goal is to have 3-5 Divisions, each with at least two members in it. Corporals will be in charge of making sure their officers are active, dedicated, and doing their jobs properly. At the top of all that, there will also be the Police Sergeant who will serve as my 2nd in Command and run the EPPS during my times of absence and work with the Police Corporals. Obviously, I've also got to find a D.A. Don't worry, I'll get on all of that. However, that conveniently leads me to my next point of the new game the EPPS will be taking.

Recruitment

To get the numbers to get up to five divisions, and have a D.A, and have everyone active and operational, the EPPS is going to need some serious recruitment. Fortunately, in this day and age, there is Photoshop, The Internet, and 50's Propaganda Examples. We're going to be going all out with this recruitment. The RMB, the Forum, Signatures, it will all be filled by the ever-prevalent East Pacific Police Service image. If you think we're heading pretty dystopian with this, you're right. Let's consider this a toned-down TEP version of the Ministry of Truth from the classic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four. ThoughtCrime will be banned, and all that good stuff.

Activity

Although I am still up in the air about this, I am heavily considering instituting Activity Requirements. These wouldn't be very serious ones, but I'd like to see all of the members of the East Pacific Police Service active and doing various tasks. I will make sure there are plenty of things that can be done, so nobody can complain that they had nothing they could do when they get removed for doing nothing for four months. As said, these won't be very ridiculous measures. This is a Police Force, not a Military Strike Team... yet, anyway. I'll discuss this concept further with my Sergeant and Corporals, and it will be pretty clear if they're officially instituted.

Communication

I will seek to increase the amount of Communication the entire EPPS has. I'm thinking Walkie Talkies, yes? Alas, because their range isn't effective enough to cover all of us I'll have to settle for a Skype Group or something. This will allow EPPS members to better coordinate on situations such as AdSpam or actual Security Breaches and will better let myself make sure everyone is active and participating in EPPS affairs. Don't expect to hear much more about this unless you're an EPPS member, as obviously any Skype/IRC Groups will be EPPS only and membership will be exclusively limited by my oppressive Commissioner-ness. Don't like it? Tough.

Intelligence

Do you know what the EPPS Act says? It says that the East Pacific Police Service is responsible for "Domestic and international intelligence operations". To you, this might mean oversight on anyone who jokes about couping the region. To me, this implies that we are the National Security Agency of The East Pacific. However, as that isn't hardcore enough, we are the Комите́т госуда́рственной безопа́сности of The East Pacific. To everyone who doesn't know Russian, that is the full name of the KGB. If someone threatens TEP, they better a deportation to the gulags of Far East Pacific. Exciting, isn't it? Remember, if you have nothing to hide then you have no reason to fear surveillance.

And More!

If you expected all my plans here, I feel bad for you son. I have 99 problems, and coming up with everything in a single take is one. You'll get more announcements like this, probably. I've got lots of plans, and lots of ideas on how to implement them. Once I figure out how to implement them, I will inform the region on what you need to know about them.

New Wine Cellar

That's right, we've got a new wine cellar! After finding multiple caches of wine stored by dissidents in what they claimed was "sovereign territory" the East Pacific Police Service is now in the process of opening up a Tavern and Bar. Don't worry, all the wine and other liquor has undergone extensive testing and checks to make sure it is fit for consumption of our beloved TEP Citizenry. You have the word of the government that it is not laced with anything, not even the truth serum. However, we have no promises regarding the glitter-laden cookies that are also on the menu. Corporal Xoriet has been known for testing EPSA Interrogation serums on them.




Thank You
Tim Montresor-Stark
EPPS Comissioner.

Remember: The Only Good AdSpammer is a Banned AdSpammer

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Tim
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-reserved for potential expansion-
Edited by Tim, Jul 22 2014, 01:55:46 PM.
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