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[RPNEWS]XNN; Xiopothos News Network
Topic Started: Feb 20 2005, 04:11:55 PM (234 Views)
Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 20th, 2005, 4:12 P.M. EPT:]

And in latest news, the Chief Administrator has announced that the Xiopothos Deparment of Commerce has taken an interest in the industry of commercially breeding and selling tropical freshwater aquarium fish. Aquaria include the Siamese Fighting Fish, Xiopothos' Animal of State.
Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 21st, 2005, 9:12 A.M. EPT:]

"Good morning, Xiopothos and fellow viewers, Robert Berber hhere for the Morning Update! Here is thee latest headline: A cancer patient demands Euthanesia. The parliament is torn, left to discuss the issue; Dorothy Terwilliger- A patient who lies near death in a hospital, within the confines of a bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death via Euthenisation. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes. This has left the Parliament very disraaught and eagerly disputing the issue. On the phone we have freelance medical writer Colin Licorish. Good morning, Colin!"

"Good morning, Robert."

"Now, Mr. Licorish, what do you have to say on this hot-button issue?"

"I understand this is a very difficult time for these people, but the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain."

"I see... Anything else you would like to add to that?"

"We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."

"Okay, thank you, Mr. Licorish for you time and concerns."

"You're welcome."

"This has been Robert Berber, your proud reporter for XNN Morning Update, signing off!"
Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 22, 2005, 6:02 pm EPT]

"Good evening, I'm Walt Zhrietin for XNN Evening News. Tonight's top story: Children as young as eight have been spotted gambling in some of Xiopothos's seedier casinos. This has caused an outrage amongst the nation's parents and the XFVC (Xiopothos Family Values Coalition), which have gone to their local parliamentary representatives to express their vehement outrage. Social activist Naki Fellow has called such activities of our youth and the casino industry of Xiopothos outrageous."

"'Gambling needs to be outlawed immediately.' Says Fellow in an interview with The Characoi Informant. 'It's no wonder children are becoming sucked into the vice, with adults setting such a poor example. Gambling is a stain on Xiopothos's international reputation and it must be stopped!'"

"The casino industry begs to differ, however. I have Crown Casino chairperson Jack Licorish on the phone. Hello there, Jack."

["Hey Walt."]

"I understand that you have said something having to do with this subject matter. Would you mind telling us?"

["Well Walt, what's wrong with children gambling?"]

"Pardon me Jack, but I have to disagree,as I have a son and two daughters of my own. Can you see why people would be offended by that?

["Well, if it prepares them for the realities of life, it is teaching them that success or failure is not due to hard work or intelligence, but the roll of the dice."]

"Oh really? So are you saying they should gamble with their future and earn poor grades in our schools?"

["No Walt, that isn't my message here. Besides, if kids weren't gambling, they'd probably be out spraypainting trains. So, why not let them gamble if it keeps them out of trouble?"]

"...Mr. Licorish, while I understand that you're well-intentioned, I have to respectfully disagree with you. Goodbye."

["Bye Walt."]

:Click!:

"That was tonight's top story. For XNN Evening News, I'm Walt Zhrietin. Good night.



Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 23rd, 2005, 7:26 A.M. EPT:]

"Good morning, Xiopothos and fellow viewers, Robert Berber here for the Morning Update! In latest news, the increasingly militant Animal Liberation Front struck again last night, freeing dozens of chickens bound for delicious snack packs. However, Economist Clint Shiomi has an alternative.

'You don't need to take away the people's right to choose. You just need to build the costs of animal suffering into the price. A tax on meat-eating, in proportion to the amount of cruelty involved, would do the trick. Plus think of the benefit for the national coffers! Of course, poor people wouldn't be able to afford meat, but that's just more incentive for them to get jobs'

'These Liberationists are highlighting an important issue,' pleads Aaron Thiesen. 'Too often, animals are put through needless cruelty, just to make their flesh taste a little more deliciously succulent. I'm sure we could ban the more horrific abuses without putting too much of a dent in our national obesity figures. Couldn't we?'

'Animals have feelings too!' says protestor Naki Hamilton, before being set upon by hungry passers-by. 'Free the animals! Ban meat-eating!'

'These nuts have got to be stopped,' demands concerned consumer Prudence Silk. 'They need to face the fact people want snack packs, no matter how many innocent chickens must be sacrificed. Besides, chickens would do the same to us if they had the chance.'

This is quite a mess as you can all tell...

For XNN Morning Update, this is Robert Berber. Have a good day!"

Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 25th, 2005, 9:49 A.M. EPT:]

"Good morning, Xiopothis! Robert Berber here for today's morning updat Morning Update! In latest news several streets were clogged with bicycles this morning, as the environmental group 'Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad' staged a protest in the capitol, Characoi. Several hundred riders ambled through downtown streets, blissfully ignoring the torrent of abuse hurled at them by thousands of motorists running late for work. On the phone, we have the president of The Automotive Manufacturers Association, Michael Fairchild, who has called for the government's support. Now why is that, Mike?"

["It's clear that we need to boost the level of automobile support in this country. This protest this morning is a clear indication of... um... anyway, we need more government funds."]

"What is considered 'um?'"

["Well... ignorance, to be blunt."]

"Okay, thank you Mr. Fairchild."

["You are welcome, Rob."]

In other news, the Trioni situation continues, Krechzianko calling for the forming of a peacekeeping council called the EPTO, or East Pacific Treaty Organization. the government has shown interest in joining the group, once it begins accepting new members, other than Krechzianko, the Free Pacific States, and Jambuula.


For the XNN Morning Update, I am Robert berber. Have a nice day!


Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 27th, 2005, 4:16 EPT]

Good Morning, I'm Oliver Night with the XNN Twighlight Telecall. In latest news, Prospecting company Nukes4U has uncovered a large uranium deposit in Xiopothos's south-west. Nukes4U CEO Dave Jefferson calls the find, terrific saying:"It will provide an enormous stimulus to our economy and create thousands of new jobs. It's win-win! All we need from the government is permission to bulldoze the rainforest that's on top of the deposit." However this is also causing disharmony in Characoi. "You've got to be kidding," says Green politician Falala Chicago. "This rainforest is thousands of years old! This country needs more environmental protection, not less. And to destroy the environment in order to mine uranium that then goes into nuclear bombs--well, that really sticks in my craw." There has been a solution called, however. "There's no need for an either-or decision," says the government's Minister for Mining, Clear-Felling, and the Environment. "We can preserve most of the rainforest and allow mining of a small part. After all, think of all the good that the money from this uranium deposit can bring to Xiopothos."

That's it. For the XNN Twighlight Telecall, I'm Oliver Night. Now back to Swimming for Midgets with Al Zheimers! Good Night.
Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[February 28th, 2005, 4:49 EPT]

Good afternoon, Xiopothos! This is The 8 Ball Hour with Shana Ways, and here is the latest news in a reference to one of today's hot-button issues, in this case, cloning and stem-cell research. Scientists using cloned human embryos for research are on the verge of a medical breakthrough.

"It's really very exciting," says lab head Billy McAlpin. "Until now, we've kept very quiet, to avoid being targeted by lunatic fringe groups who for some reason think it's wrong to clone human embryos. It's too early to promise anything, but we hope that one day we will have genetic cures for a whole range of debilitating illnesses. I certainly hope the government will support our work."

On the other side of the debate, however things are the exact and complete opposite."Well, if you have to be part of a lunatic fringe group to object to this barbaric practice, I'm a lunatic," says placard-waving one protestor of the practice, Shirley Hinders. "Of course it would be nice to cure these unnamed diseases, but at what cost? They're messing with the sanctity of human life. It's wrong, and the lab should be shut down immediately."

That's it with the 8 Ball Hour, I'm Shana Ways. Have a good afternoon, everyone!
Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war

[we interrupt your regular progam of fish porn to bring you a special report...]

SPECIAL REPORT(du du du dun du dud dud du dun dun dun dun du dun dun...):

{the camera flashes on, revealing the youthful, red-headed and shapely reporter, Anastasia Silros. standing at a mountain vcountry woodland home.

"Hello, viewers! This is Anastasia Silros here, and have I got quite the story here! about 7 hours ago, Xiopothos Mountain Police recieved a panicked phone call from Hank Jollio. Mr. Jollio reportedly said in a teary voice on a phone call:

THE RECORDING:

["H-h-hello?"]

["Hello sir, Xiopothos Mountain Police Department here. Anything wrong?"]

["Y-you b-b-bet... I hear my wife scream, the next, I see this w-wierd creature drop her and my only son and tear off. I... I... Oh God, I can't go on... :sobbing: Ohohoho God, why...? "]

["Sir, calm down..."]

["R-r-r- ri-right, sorry... I check my son's pulse, see? A-a-as soon as I touch him, his hand crumbles to FRICKIN' DUST and blows away in the wind."]

["We're sending a team there now, sir. Stsay put, alright?"]

["O... okay..."]

["Bye."]

[B-b-b-bye... :sobbing:]

*click!*

*click!*

"Police are currently invesigting as to what killed victims Laurie and Johnthan Jollio, Mr. Jollio's wife and young son.. While they arent saying anything, they have said this: whatever did it was dangerous, and is no human. For XNN, I'm Anastasia Silros! Now, back to your normal program."

[signal switches back to the FPN, with a special called GOLDFISHES GONE WILD airing...]

host: "Yeah, yeeeeaaaaahhhh! Come on baby, move that tail fin! Move it, girl!"

Goldfish: "Uh pal, you need glasses, cause I'm a GUY fish. I have a Puh-durkey ear my anal fin, see?" :shakes 'fish-butt' at host: "SEE?"

host: Yeah... :turns to the camera: I have to tell youall something; No, I'mnot straight. In fact I am a fisheosexual. :attempts to grope goldfish by the puh-durkey: "Come here, baby! Daddy wants ya!"

goldfish:"AHH!!! D**N HUMAN, STAY AWAY!!!" :bites the host's hand:

host: "OWWWWWWWIIIEEEEEE!!! AWW, SONEA*****! That hurt, you d**n goldfish..."

(OOC: I am quite messed up, arent I...? Don't ask where I got Pu-durkey' from either, Ijust thought it was a good word to stick in place of "air or empty space.":P )






Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
[6/9/05, 2:05 PM, EPT:]

"Good day, dear viewers! This is Walt Zhrieghtin with your XNN afternoon update. In latest news, it has been proposed that the nations of The Wachovia Coalition, Packilvania, East Malaysia, and others begin to make a clean-up off the extreme amounts of radiation due to the usage of nuclear weapons from the series of recent conflits in our beloved East Pacific. Also, Infinite Loop, the regional delegate, has proposed that nuclear tech should be banned due to all the radiation causing slightly excessive heat through out some areas off the region. Free Pacific states made a statement in agreement in general, but felt that completely ridding of nuclear weaponry is foolish, as it could leave the region defenseless to an assault by colonies of interstellar governments. The government agreeded with them, that yes, while nuclear tech is dangerous at this point in time, it is the only thing keeping invaders from launching an assault. The nation of Raikatuji, however, differs in that regard, and agrees with the delegate and proposed that,"each nation in EP to have their own nuclear weapons is dangerous."

"The nation went on to proposed that all members of the East Pacific, 'should hand over part of the control of nuclear weapons to a member of EPTA. Any nuclear weapon should be released only after it has been sanctioned by the EPTA and the local government official. Further nuclear weapons should only be used as detterents.'"

"Krechzianko has stated that while yes, the nation as a whole will cooperate, it will not be, 'storing everyone's nukes in my backyard, no sir!'"

The government seconded that statement, in agreement with our neighbor to the west, calling it a,"bad idea."

"In national news, citizens in the nation's Xion Mountains were both frightened and bedazzled last night when a burst of flames came from nowhere last night. We now go to Anastasia Silros in the town of Potts, located in the southeaster area of the Xion Hills Province. Anastasia?"

[the camera view shifts to Anastasia in Potts, and she begins to speak. She is standing on a hill at the edge of town, the camera panned back slight to overlook the forest and a strange bald spot far away...]

"Good afternoon, Walt."

"Ana, what's the story so far?"

"Well, apparently around 11: 23 PM last night, a brilliant but loud explosion lit up the skies of this small town last night, followed by a strange green flash. Police said it was an oil truck that caught a flame and exploded, destroying half a mile of woodland. Strangely enough, though, there wasn't a fire or any smoke reported... Not even the scent of burning petrol in the air was noted!"

[A rocker of a teenager, probably no older than 16 is standing beside her. Ana turns to him.]

"Who's your your young freind there Diana?"

"This is Troy Mason, a local citizen that saw the explosion occur. Tell us Troy, what exactly did you see?"

[Troy stares at her for a moment, then checks her out.]

"You're hot."

[Ana sighs as she speaks and rolls her eyes slightly. Walt holds down a fierce chuckle off-camera as Ana blushes lightly.]

"Umm... Thank you, that's nice. Now, can you tell us about what yiou saw, exactly?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, that! I was just sittin' out on the windowsill watchin' the stars go bye and chillin', minding my own business, when there suddenly there was like this big 'BOOM!' Second later, the strange light show poofs up into my view, and I was like 'DUDE' and 'SWEET, man!' Then there was this shallow green flash fading in and out, and I was all like 'COOL!'"

"I see... thank you very for the vivid, umm... Desription, Troy."

"S'alright, Ms. Silros! Uh, did I mention that you're hot?? You da schizzle in my nizzle, girl!"

[Ana strangely starts talking faster s she blushes a bit more]

"Okay, that's the story! back to you, Walt!

[Camera switches back to Walt, who is having a quick chuckle wit the studio personnell]

"Ah, that woman just can't get a break, can she? Hehehe... Anyways, thanks for tuning to the XNN Afternoon Update! Ultrasonic Economy with Xavier Vega is up next!"

------

[back in Potts...]

"Looks like you have potential suitors there, Ana! Awoo! Haha!"

*SLAP!*

"Oh, shut up Lloyd, will you?"

[Troy is seen running after the news van as it begins pulling out of the town limits en rout to XNN Head Studios in Port Index.]

"HEY! HEY, MS. SILROS! WHAT'S YOUR NUMBER!? MAYBE WE CAN HOOK UP WITH EACH OTHER SOME TIME! COME ON!! I STILL DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER!! AND I THINK YOUR HOT, TOO!! STOP!!!"

[Thr van speeds off...]

...

...

"Aw, crap. D*MN IT!!"

Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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Xiopothos Chief Administrator
No Avatar
Under Blockade, 2 years post-war
BREAKING NEWS FROM XNN!

Michael Jackson: Noit Guilty!

That's right! The king of pop has been found to be not guilty! After 31 total hours of deliberating whether Jackson was guilty or not, the jury answered not guilty on all charges, some being in sexual offenses and conspiracy. In an hour of teestimony, the jury was interviewed by the press. A quote from the foreman, juror #2, on his thoughts on the mother of the alleged victim and her acts in the courtroom.

"I can remember during testmony in the trial when she snapped her fingers at me like this and winked at me, and she said,'You know how our culture works.' I thought,'that is not how our culture works.'" He said on his thoughts of the trial.
Posted Image
"Xiopothos: All your base are belong to us!"

The Treaty of Rillianon has been signed... the war is over! Huzzah!

"Er...as a sidenote, although I obviously cannot limit voting, I ask that people vote only if they have ACTUALLY READ MY BRIEFS, as opposed to simply following instructions from Pack to "vote for the hive." -Free Pacific States, on the FPS election
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