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| [AU]Second Thoughts?; RP Bloopers | |
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| Topic Started: Aug 10 2005, 04:18:14 PM (2,624 Views) | |
| Dannistaan | Dec 18 2005, 05:14:34 PM Post #31 |
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Bat Shoot Loco
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AC Kah'lad didn't respond. Instead he started looking nervous and flustered. Then he started laughing out, "I'm sorry! I've forgotten my lines!! AHAHAHA!!" "Normal" Kah'lad could only shake his head in annoyance and started losing it as well. "I told you we should've rehersed this more than once!" he shouted... |
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The Office of Her Majesty's Dannistrian Ambassador to Rillanon, Christie Island The Royal Confederacy of Dannistaan In Omnis Unum | |
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| Free Pacific States | Jan 1 2006, 03:44:26 AM Post #32 |
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Number One Drone
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The FPSNN reporter stood. "Mam, I must ask the question I'm sure we're all thinking right now. Does this suit make me look fat?" OOC: Sorry, couldn't help myself. Just too classic to resist. |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Free Pacific States | Jan 21 2006, 07:05:19 PM Post #33 |
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Number One Drone
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Dannistaan International Airport Immigration "Sir, I'm afraid you have to mark your gender." The immigration officer said, pointing to the green form in front of him. The man across the counter sighed. "I don't have one. It's..the way of my kind." The immigration officer was about to ask what kind when he realized. "Your a zombie?" "We prefer undead." "Oh, uh, my apologies sir. Regardless of terminology, I'm afraid z...undead have to fill out the purple form, not the green form. If you'll just step back to the yellow line there, as soon as you finish your form, I'll make sure your served next." The agent pulled out another form, putting it down in front of the man. "Next in line, please." "Why, hello, sir." "Welcome to Dannistaan. Name please?" "Osama Bin Laden." "Buisness or pleasure?" "Buisness." "Who do you work with?" "Al Qaeda." The immigration officer signed. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm afraid terrorists have to fill out the yellow form, not the blue form." Bin Laden nodded. "Of course, I understand. I'll get right on that." "Next in line, please." The man stepped up to the counter. "Hello, I'm Markus Funch, here with my family on....A...A....ACHU." The immigration officer jumped back. "BY GOD, HES GOT THE FLU!" Reaching down, he pulled his handgun from his holster, and fired several shots into the man. The zombie rushed forward. "Quick! Shoot him in the head! If you don't shoot him in the head, he might not die, and he could spread the disease!" "No, no! You have to behead him! Take his head right off!" Bin Laden said, rushing forward, and pulling out a large saber. Meanwhile, hundreds of others attempted to rush from the room, smashing one another to peices. OOC: Sorry, Dann, just couldn't help myself on this one. |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Kandarin | Jan 28 2006, 04:38:42 PM Post #34 |
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Ferret princess
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Lord Vilmar stared impatiently at the two hulking East Malaysians in business suits as they continued their banter. "Thassa nice country youse got there.", one said. "Woulda be a pity if something happened a' to it." "Um, guys? I kind of need to talk to your Empress." "Yeah, da boss. She likes blowing holes in a'stuff. Maybe you'd like to insure dat that doesn't happen." Vilmar sighed and pulled a shuriken pistol out of his sleeve. "It looks like I'm going to have to do this the hard way." |
"Torpored Caitiff Antediluvian"
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| Free Pacific States | Feb 4 2006, 08:19:36 PM Post #35 |
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Number One Drone
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Suddenly, several screams came from the front of the airplane. Leaning into the aisle, Jill tried to get an angle into the cockpit. "I wonder what their screaming about?"
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| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Free Pacific States | Feb 5 2006, 08:52:07 PM Post #36 |
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Number One Drone
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Dannistaan Air Flight Main Cabin "Bai Lung? Isn't that one of the two idiot nations that's been wasting thousands of lives trying to claim some tiny, tactically insignificant island?" Her jaw dropped as she remembered the other nation was Dannistaan. Turning, she looked at the three Dannistrans. "Oops." __________________________________________________________________________________ Faramount International Airport Control Tower "Say again, DAF2135? What's going on?" "Our flight is rioting! A bunch of Dannistrans are trying to kill a bunch of FPSians! I'm declaring an emergency!" |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Fish Island | Feb 6 2006, 02:59:07 AM Post #37 |
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Failed The Global Test
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-------------------------------------------------------- Shiro Academy -------------------------------------------------------- A green Fish Island GAZ-67 carrying Ungitachi Kanga and Taiya Tsulakala spead towards the Shiro Academy dorms. "This music sucks!" Taiya yelled and went to change the station from the local IL-Pop station. "Hey, I like it" Ungitachi yelled as he took his eyes off the road and started messing with the dial. Suddenly the GAZ ran over something jostling it into the air. "What was that?" Taiya said. Ungitachi looked in the mirror and breathed a sigh of relief. "It looks like someone just left a bunch of shopping bags in the middle of the road, the cops around here need to enforce the litter laws better..." Ungitachi said as he parked in an open space. |
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Fish Island Patoxia's Island Territory ![]() Eat Max Berries! They're teh bestest! Neo-Battle Peasant Forums - Also home of the Anime Punch! con forums. ??? | |
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| Free Pacific States | Feb 7 2006, 09:22:32 PM Post #38 |
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Number One Drone
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(From the Shiro Thread) "Ambassador, Terence Vogon, National Immigration Agency. My aide tells me your here to request a passenger be allowed to surpass immigration checks and Nekomimi Flu countermeasures." The Kandaranese Ambassador nodded. "Yes, sir, I am. Will that be a problem?" "No, sir, not at all. I'll just need you to fill out some forms." "What forms?" Vogan pointed out the window to a large 18 wheeler, the back of which was filled with paperwork stacked in neat, orderly piles. "Those forms." |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Free Pacific States | Feb 12 2006, 07:56:31 PM Post #39 |
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Number One Drone
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For Kand: |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Infinite Loop | Feb 14 2006, 04:37:06 AM Post #40 |
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Take Off, Eh?
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Endorsements recieved ( 69 ) : Cupertino, 1 Infinite Loop, 2 Infinite Loop, Infinite Loop, Bob Mckenzie, Shinagami, Shortbus, Magic Emperor Ghaelon, Ghaelon, SLAK, Prarie squid, Alys Whitill, The Cabin Grrrrl, The Cabin Girl, hax0rstan, Black Wolf Furries, Mr OWL, Vladimir Harkonnen, Uncle Duke, McTropolis, Avignon, Caesar Calligula, Max Zorin, Deus Ex Fiat, Walter Koenig, The True Reich, Atlanta Constitution, Fark Propaganda Corps, The Knights of Colombus, Fertile Sputniks, Jude Streicher,Otto Skorzeny, Nicholas der Kirchwass, Megalocyathus, Lil Megalocyathus, Uncle Toms Nation, Simon Legree, Yatta_, Lowtax, Patriotute, Doctor Zaius, General Ursus, Corneluis the ape, Nova the wild human, Bright eyes taylor, Dr Zira, Alex Chiu, Honkey the Goose, StandartenFuerher, Neko Mimi, The NS Invaders, Free n Accepted Masons.Miss Tessmacher, Hurricane Jezebel ,Rbt E Lee ,Dead Yankee ,U S Grant ,General Mead, Baron Karza, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Col Sanders, Aunt Jemimas witnesses, of the people Q, Le French Stereotypes, Qfdsdiozbnf, Alan Scott, Baltar the Traitor, Mok Mok the Jawa, space kraken, | |
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| Free Pacific States | Feb 19 2006, 09:22:59 PM Post #41 |
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Number One Drone
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"Yes, ma'm, you are protected under the three month visa. If you'll just sign here, I'll print you one out." Jill nodded. "Thank you very much. I will say, you guys have a very quick immi...a...a....A....A....ACHU!!!" Taking a breath, Jill looked up. "Sorry about that, just a bit of a.." She never got to finish the sentence, the guard unloading his clip into her head. As she fell to the ground, his co-workers and many of those in the terminal began cheering. From behind him, the sector sergeant slapped the immigration officer on the back. "Good job, son. You just saved Dannistaan from the flu. You'll get a medal for that!" |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Dannistaan | Feb 24 2006, 04:46:39 PM Post #42 |
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Bat Shoot Loco
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As the West Malaysian fleet approached, they approached a small silver sphere that wasn't noticed before. There was a loud flash as most of the West Malaysian fleet suddenly vanished. All was left of the 1000 odd ships was a set of constituant sub-atomic particles and two burnt out hulks that could barely move. East Dannistaan Governmental Armoury, For'af City, East Dannistaan Somewhere in the local Central Defence Command Bunker "Sir, we can report that the test detonation of the AQSC (Advanced Quantum Singularity Charge) was sucessful! 998 ships of the West Malaysian fleet is destroyed..." said a solider to the general at the table. "998?!" screamed the general, "I was expecting 999!! DAMMIT!!" OOC: Sorry, bad joke...:swet: |
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The Office of Her Majesty's Dannistrian Ambassador to Rillanon, Christie Island The Royal Confederacy of Dannistaan In Omnis Unum | |
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| Kandarin | Feb 27 2006, 07:02:41 PM Post #43 |
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Ferret princess
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Somewhere in the Dannistrian Defense Bunker "Um, sir?" The adjutant tapped the exultant general on the shoulder. "Didn't the intelligence report show 1000+ ships, not exactly 1000?" The general stopped dancing the Lambada* and looked at the radar screen. "Oh, F-" ![]() *The forbidden dance |
"Torpored Caitiff Antediluvian"
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| Free Pacific States | Mar 12 2006, 08:30:45 PM Post #44 |
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Number One Drone
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Tyrsin Imperial Guard Claims Responsibility for Killing of Bugs Bunny![]() Tyrsin Imperial Guard Spokesperson In a videotape released to Free Pacific Post reporter Clement Basinger earlier today, a shotgun-carrying man claimed responsibility on behalf of the Tyrsin Imperial Guard for the Bugs Bunny killing in Nordu Dannistra. The killing, which also resulted in the suicides of several hundred million small children worldwide, has been chronicled as the most influential cartoon huntin' in the East Pacific this year, resulting in more small child suicides then even the vicious slaughter of the roadrunner (the suspected killer of whom, Coyote, has yet to be endicted due to the refusal by Acme Construction Company to turn over sales files to the EP Government). Though the Dannistrian government has yet to officially confirm that the Tyrsin Imperial Guard's claims are correct, the description of the shotgun used to hunt dat wabbit given during the tape matches that given to the press by several Nordu Dannistra Cartoon Squad Members (who have asked to remain anonymous). High level correspondants in the Dannistrian government (who have also asked to remain anonymous) have also hinted that a statement may soon be released confirming the claims of the Tyrsin Imperial Guard. The self-identified "wabbit-hunter" for the Tyrsin Imperial Guard stated that though the Guard did not support violence against cartoons, the actions of Bugs Bunny against Daffy Duck had to be responded to in kind. The spokesperson then went on to deny accusations that Daffy Duck was criminally insane, stating that: "Daffy, unlike those that accuse him, would never take such horrific actions." The short man finished the tape off stating that: "so long as the Disney Corporation and it's allies do not withdraw from the cartoon industry, we will continue to kill of Disney characters, and call upon our brother cartoon characters to support us in our rightous crusade!" When the fact that Bugs Bunny was not a Disney Cartoon was pointed out to the man, he noted that: "he might not have been disney, but he was a sympathizer!" The tape has been turned over to the Disney Corporation, "the sheriff" from Toy Story, and the EP Government for analysis, however, no response has yet been received in regards to the tape's authenticity or reliability. |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Free Pacific States | Mar 12 2006, 11:11:49 PM Post #45 |
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Number One Drone
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Benny Hill's "Jazzy Sax" Song Declared FPS National Anthem? Terrus' Sobriety At Statement Questioned (Lyrics can be found here). In a statement early this morning, FPS President Matthew Terrus declared that Benny Hill's "Jazzy Sax" Song would become FPS' first national anthem. The peice, traditionally used in comedies and cartoons, has come under some fire for being "un-serious" (as stated by Chris Noe). Though, of yet, no secondary official statement has been made, many believe Terrus to have been drunk at the time of the statement, seeing as, in it's entirety, the statement was comprised of Terrus stagering out, saying in a loud bolstrous voice that Benny Hill's "Jazzy Sax" was the best song ever, and as such would be made FPS' national anthem. He then swaggered off out of the room, waving his arms at the many questioning reporters, before dissapearing around a corner back into the secured portion of the Blue House. Several staff members who asked to remain anonymous state that they saw Terrus pissing on a wall just around the corner, further supporting the idea that the president may have been piss drunk at the time of the statement. There's also the fact that he was found passed out on the War Room Table, where he'd been playing with division markers as though they were toy soldiers, according to several government officials (who also asked to remain anonymous). FPS Military Begins Making Random Tactical Movements Around the EP ![]() FPIA Undercover Tactical Intelligence Ship Vanuver, Which Apparently Beached Under Direct Orders from the FPS War Room In an unprecedented move, FPS has suddenly transfered the location of nearly every military asset, sending home guard units across the world, and foreign embassy marine contingents to the home front. Officials are of yet unsure what happened, however, several military officials (who asked to remain anonymous) point to the fact that President Matthew Terrus, who was playing with the division signifiers in the war room, may have accidentally activated the system that tranfers movements of said signifiers on the war table into orders automatically sent to divisions. Which would explain why several dozen FPS military vessels have run aground, or purposely flipped over in the past two hours. Of yet, the FPS government has made no statement, except to apologize for the nuking of of Rillanon. |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Free Pacific States | Mar 16 2006, 06:32:06 PM Post #46 |
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Number One Drone
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Why the hive actually wouldn't work. |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| packilvania | Mar 17 2006, 04:35:52 PM Post #47 |
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Caliph
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I laughed so hard the Hive peed... lol |
![]() "The Cybernets shall overrun every thing you hold dear. Assimilate." Loop: Well that rules out my Atomic Metroid Spy Toilet I had planned. DFD: WAAAAH, you butt hurt me. Cry cry cry. Todd My foreign officer ended up pushing her wiener (gl@sses) further up the bridge of her nose. | |
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| Pheonix 101 | Mar 20 2006, 10:51:20 PM Post #48 |
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Kilroy was here
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From my WoE post:
The enveloping bubble of ships swarmed in upon themselves. The "Hand of the Emperor" formation was executed flawlessly, with the main force of the fleet becoming the shape of a hand, with a smaller vanguard force jutting in a thrust through the WM fleet. The vanguard force went perfectly in a cylinder with a rounded end directly in the center of the hand, thus, this was the "Middle Finger Armada". The Grand Admiral grinned, "Sticking it to the man!" |
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Pheonix 101, AKA Mecha Nation of the Rejected Realms Army Mecha Nation Empire Kandarinn (11:00:33 PM): "I know a little something about being called crazy. But tell me this, if I'm so "crazy", then how come God gave me this rifle and put me in charge of punishing the wicked?" | |
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| Free Pacific States | Mar 21 2006, 01:14:45 AM Post #49 |
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Number One Drone
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Lewis nodded. "Confirmation confirmed, sir. We'll get to work on a tactical plan." Lewis turned, still viewable on the computer screen, too look at someone offscreen. "Confirmation is confirmed, Roger." "You sure?" "Roger." "What?" "Roger." "What?" "No, as in, Roger." "What." "As in, Roger that, Roger." "Oh, right." There was a pause. "By the way, who's on communications?" "Who is." "I'm..asking you." "No, no, who is." "How should I know?" "Because I'm telling you who is." "Who is?" "Who." "What?" "No, he's on armory today." "Wait, who's in armory today?" "No, who's on communications!" "That's what I wanna know!" "Wait, what do you wanna know?" "Who's on communications!" "That's right. Sheesh, that's the first intelligent thing I've heard you say." "Wait...what?" "No, what's in armory." "No, as in, what." "Right." "What?" "Is in armory." "No, no, no, your not understanding what I'm saying." "You can say that again." "Who can say that again?" "No, you can say that again. Though I guess who could too." "Wait, who's who?" "Who's on communications." "What?" "No, he's on armory." "Wait, who's on armory?" "No, what is." "Wait, but if what's on armory, then..ugh, I dun no." "Idun No is on office duty." "Wait, what?" "Is on armory." "No...who?" "Is on communications." "Dear God." "He's on chartkeeping." |
| The Federated Alliance of Free Pacific States | Lyon Republic | Republic of Xiopothos | East Pacific Treaty Organization | |
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| Kandarin | Mar 21 2006, 02:28:33 PM Post #50 |
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Ferret princess
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Thirty minutes later "We've taken 70% casualties!" said the Epsilon group admiral, looking clearly harried. "They outnumber us two to one now, and-" Khaz cut him off. "I understand, Dmitri. Mr. Tversky, transmit the general order for retreat." "It will be done, my lord.", said the adjutant, and began transmitting orders to the comm officers. Shortly afterwards, speakers throughout the fleet blared with music. Allons enfants de la patrie, Le jour de gloire est arriv Contre nous de la tyrannie L'tendard sanglant est lev Entendez vous dans les campagnes, Mugir ces froces soldats? Ils viennent jusque dans nos bras Egorger nos fils, nos compagnes! Aux armes, citoyens! Formez vos bataillons! Marchons! Marchons! Qu'un sang impur Abreuve nos sillons! Amour sacr de la patrie, Conduis, soutiens nos bras vengeurs! Libert, Libert cherie, Combats avec tes defenseurs! Sous nos drapeaux, que la victoire Accoure tes males accents! Que tes ennemis expirants Voient ton triomphe et notre gloire! "Mr. Tversky", Khaz said quietly to his adjutant once the Marsellaise was finished, "I didn't think it would come to this, but I'm afraid this is it. Go down to the mess and tell the officers there..." He put his head in his hands. "Break out the wine and cheese." |
"Torpored Caitiff Antediluvian"
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| Pheonix 101 | Mar 21 2006, 03:25:24 PM Post #51 |
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Kilroy was here
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Is it sad that I know exactly how to sing that? |
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Pheonix 101, AKA Mecha Nation of the Rejected Realms Army Mecha Nation Empire Kandarinn (11:00:33 PM): "I know a little something about being called crazy. But tell me this, if I'm so "crazy", then how come God gave me this rifle and put me in charge of punishing the wicked?" | |
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6:52 PM Jul 10