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Where I stand
Topic Started: Feb 3 2010, 03:41:45 PM (531 Views)
Todd McCloud
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Planet Telox
I understand over the past few months I've been very busy with real-life issues, issues which affected my time and considerations into NationStates in general. I wanted to use this thread to explain where I am as a gameplayer right now, and as a delegate to this region. This thread is intended to be simply an honest assessment: people may comment as they like, and I'll respond.

First, I'd like to address my current stance in the raider / defender wars. An issue I have noticed from time to time is concerns over my past as a raider, which is mixed in with my opinions on that aspect of the game. I know most people here don't really follow that aspect of the game, which is perfectly fine, but I came from that aspect of the game, and therefore it's important to me. I try to fight for that aspect of the game in how I type on the forums, trying to show players that raiders can be good, and that the game itself does produce good players. After all, there are very few players who will stand up to that aspect of the game - it's too risky for them. I don't mind standing up for people that need to have someone stand up for them, however, especially since I personally know there are parts of that game that are overlooked or glossed over. The trouble is, doing that is a catch-22. My dilemma lies in the fact that the more I stand up for raiders and try to rationalize what is fair and what isn't, the more it seems to lower my credibility. While I can understand that, one must realize that I have no intentions in participating in any rogue-ish activities, or dragging TEP into those aspects of raider / defender conflicts. I do not want to disturb the neutrality of the region, for one, and furthermore, I cannot and will not undo what we have done and what we have worked for as a region united. That's not my position; that's not my job. One of my jobs is to protect the region and ensure no foul play befalls it. The WA debacle was a wake-up call, and will no doubt be worked on in the future. It was a bump in the road, but I don't foresee any other bumps in the future, at least as long as I'm still around, lol.

This leads me into my second point. I am a type of person that believes if I do everything, that is a way of serving the region. I am now beginning to understand the beauty of 'delegation', of giving more responsibilities to other nations in the region, to keep everyone involved, and above all, ensure that the voice of TEP remains united, and not whoever can speak the loudest. It boils down to a difficulty I have with trust - a quality that served me well in other jobs in NS, but cannot work in this position. Therefore, I will work to undo that. Naturally, this will not be a simple task, but it is one I'm certainly motivated to do. It is also a fear of mine that if I don't do everything, I will be removed. I understand the absurdity of such a statement, but again, it stems from my nature. Going against such beliefs, I will continue relinquish responsibilities, handing more duties to other nations in the region and letting them have complete control over said duties. I have already begun doing this, and it is quite liberating, and I can see the involvement is creating a more positive movement. Perhaps that is the new role of the delegate - not to do everything, but to "delegate", to trust, watch, and above all, serve, with bits of leadership peppered in. I will shift my focus to that, transferring to a more servant-like role instead of a pseudo-ownership role. Anything less would be hypocritical - for someone who glibly proclaims supporting democracy as much as I do, it certainly must be acted out as well.

This flows into my next (and final) point. December is when I began to think some of this through. Naturally, the tribulations of qualifiers put a damper on this thought process, but there were instances where I had to sit down and think things through in this region as a whole. I understand there are those in this region which have rocky relations with some members, some with me even. I want to remove those 'rocks', as they could poison any attempts at being a united region. Now, I know not everyone can please everyone, but I'd at least like to try and mend what has been broken. Therefore, I encourage those who do have problems with me, or just in general, to not be afraid to say anything. Too often conflicts stem from a breakdown in communication, or from misunderstandings. I have time now, especially now that I'm relinquishing responsibilities in the region, and I'm able to reflect better on special circumstances.

That's all.
"Your uniform doesn't seem to fit. You're much too alive in it."

"You must be the change you want to see in the world" - Gandhi
"The worst prison would be a closed heart." - Pope John Paul II
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