long ago, I had a most marvelous of adventures, it commenced with my Journeying to Ceylon with the Lovely Princess Caraboo,
Together we sat out from England upon a Ship built by my good friend and comrade by the name of Fulton, he was an American, but I shall not hold that handicap against him.
The ship was a steamer with 16 wheels and was nearly the fastest device I had encountered in all my days, only being surpassed by the speed of an African Cheeta cat Falling from a very high place. We boarded the ship so quaintly named Alyson on May the 14th, and arrived in Ceylon twelve weeks earlier on March 4th we would have arrived sooner but encountered heavy ice off the cape of good hope and had to wait for the arrival of the Malaysian migratory penguins.
Was the service on board exquisite?
The Ice pack around the cape had grown rather thick that winter and as ice is want to do it impeeded us greatly. in places it had grown so thick and so cold that the air coming off of it froze africa as far north as the congo, the aboriginals of africa took to wearing long fur coats made from the hair of gorillas that they stole from their nests, Gorillas as you may know are nesting creatures they build gigantic gorilla rookeries in the high mountains that they line with their own fur.
The reason the ice pack had grown so thick that year wan because of the Malaysian Migratory penguin they are a small bird similar to a normal penguin but they eat the combustable firefly squid and there fore are like small tuxedoed furnaces, they swim about the sea warming it with their own little bodies, the spainyards call this phenomenon the El Nino because they erronously believe some upset small child causes the ocean currents when we so clearly see the work of these birds, or rather the lack of work, as the birds you see had recently become communists and were now on strike for higher wages and slower squids they had been out of work for some time before the management capitulated and gave them their higher wages the squid they couldnt control because the squid naturally will run for their little cephalopodial lives when confronted with the hungry penguin, management mearly lied to the penguins and told them they were now slower.