[hr][size=100][size=100][size=100][size=100]Welcome to Interesting Times.[/size][/size][/size][/size]A newspaper and general information source based out of Celesti’s Below-ground metropolis, Dunmanifestin. [hr]
This Just in from the Capitol building!
New Technologies Allow Direct Communication!
Yesterday morning, researcher and wave physicist Levi Erchlecklenshteiguraphghn hit his head on the toilet bowl as he was cleaning his bathroom mirror. Today, he professes that he has invented a device allowing tangible conversation with infini-dimensional beings such as Cori Celesti’s leader, AZRAEL.
He calls it the Comprehensive Minimizer Array, and claims that it
"Just came to me shortly after suffering a minor concussion - my fifth, by the way. I wasn't able to focus on anything, but as I was lying there, I just saw it appear in front of my eyes... it looked like sixteen and a half toilets arranged together in the formation that we have now built... now, if you look at this diagram, you can clearly see that the geometric values of the circular, or residential toilet is, when coupled with fifteen and a half of the same ideal for widening or minimizing the bandwidth of sound the sufficient amount to, in essence, hear or broadcast to another dimens-" This was as much as our field reporter heard before government officials gave Mr. Erchlecklenshteiguraphghn a sedative.* As of eleven o'clock this morning, AZRAEL had been contacted, and was informed of the situation. He has since used this Array to issue all necessary executive orders and attend meetings, instead of the old school "Skype" or "Facebook Chat" methods.
*It should be noted that this was not to suppress him - the field reporter was about to fall over from sudden onset exhaustion caused by boredom
Article by Joelius Maxinimus, The Interesting Times