THE FINAL JOURNEY
BACK TO BINGOL IN HIS OWN WORDS
Dear Diary,
The journey I have been on has been filled with surprise and spectacular discovery.
I travelled to the Memorial of the Jovian Gate which is the city of Akas Akil where we believe the Prophet Besmali, peace be upon him, lived and started his journey. It was there that I learnt that bad things just happen to people even people who don’t deserve it because the shadow of the Evil One still lingers on the Urth. Here, I think I settled in my mind the inner battle I had about whether I deserved what my father did to me. I now know without doubt or equivocation that I did not. But, at least I can look forward to the fact that healing is an ongoing journey, one in which I am taking small but meaningful strides for which I should be proud.
The second stop in the journey was in the city of Zukaril in Iganar where High King Ishak the Great built a Temple to commemorate Besmali’s encounter with an Esma who bestowed him instructions on seeking the higher self. I learnt there the power of meditation and prayer in revealing the things that trouble the soul but remain hidden by a life of busyness or denial.
My third stop was at the Temple of the Beneficence in Everyet where Prophet Besmali is believed to have helped people and done miracles. Here, it was all about what I could do for others and what the lives and stories of other people could teach me about my own. It was humbling because I had a rare glimpse into the everyday lives and basic needs of my people. Here I learnt about how we must be kind to both ourselves and others.
The last stop was not anywhere on Besmali’s journey. It was the Temple of the Passion in Fidakar. In that place, there were dying people seeking comfort in their last days and prayer for entry to the after life. There were things here that no amount of power could resolve or change. Life has a lot of those. There are things we must simply accept and allow to pass over us if we are to find peace. But more so that this Pilgrimage gave me insight and tools to grapple with things, but the journey is not over. Throughout my life I will face challenges and do things and make decisions and wrestle with demons of the past. But there is peace, and hope and joy to be found in being alive everyday.
Now I return home to that city that seems to be at the Centre of my journey and for Packilvanians it is the centre of the world. I mustered the courage to look at my father and for the first time, I think I don’t hate him anymore. I could look at him and honestly I pitied him. He lost out on having a relationship with me because he was blinded by the lust for power and fear of losing it. But I saw how any person can become like that and it was through daily choices that we resist that influence. Now that I am back in Bingol, I’m less uncomfortable with it, less eager to be some place else. The reality is that we always go back to life and it continues, but when we are changed so does our experience of it.
One day, I’m going to share this diary with someone who is going through difficult and trying times and I hope that they find comfort in these words and in the journey and experience I had. I’m going to keep growing and changing and becoming a better man and a new person.
Lots of love,
Thumim
THE END