The Revolution


We have stood by too long while social democrat hypocrites have sold out to capitalists and allowed neo-Nazis to terrorise our people. They willingly sacrificed one of their own to the bloodthirsty mobs in a shocking display of collaborationist weakness. Now, finally, this will be no more.

Today is a sunrise unlike any other. A new dawn of freedom and hope. The labourers have taken their rightful place as the rulers of their own fate and destiny, dismantling the state and reclaiming from the capital owners all that our labour has made and built.

Alan Kerk, Dominique Drapeau, and all the other unwitting puppets of the capital owners have stepped down and hold no power any more. All institutions of the former government are hereby suspended pending a reorganisation of our society along just lines, where every person will be rewarded the full worth of their labour, no more and no less.

Accordingly, this first day of April we declare a new interim Constitution by which the people shall finally throw off these artificial constructs of Parliament which sought to limit, not advance the democratic will. A new tomorrow has come, and we shall strive to build a peaceful, just and prosperous future for all mankind!

— Begin quote from ____


Whereas, I thought we were an autonomous collective; and,

whereas, we’re really living in a dictatorship, a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes…Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

Whereas, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government,

Now therefore, this shall be a new Constitution for Kelssek.


  1. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony.

  2. You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you.


  1. We are an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We shall take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

(2) All the decisions of the officer shall be ratified in a special bi-weekly meeting,

a) by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, and,
b) by a two-thirds majority in case of more major decisions.

  1. You don’t vote for kings.


  1. At any time when someone discovers the violence inherent in the system, it shall be encouraged for everyone to go see it.

  2. All persons have the right to shout, “Help, help, I’m being repressed!”

— End quote

OOC: If this isn’t an April Fools, I’m going to have ED buy up large tracts of Kelssekian land the second the new Government collapses over like the Soviet Union did in 1991…:stuck_out_tongue:

The telegram from the Federation was short and to the point:

— Begin quote from ____

People of Kelssek, you may have had some radical ideas in your time, but this time you have gone too far. There can be no basis for real power save for strange women lying in ponds distributing swords. To say otherwise is heresy.

Prepare for war.

— End quote

— Begin quote from ____

Madness! Everybody knows that the only true right to rule is through crowns on tree branches!

— End quote

Did they read my article about post-communist decay? That was without watery tarts, so imagine how much worse it will be.

The Peoples Republic of Lazlowia welcomes the brave comrades of Kelssek. We will give full support against the foreign imperialist invaders. Long live the revolution!