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‘I HAVE ENOUGH SESAME OIL TO LAST MYSELF A LIFETIME!’ MAN BEGS PUBLIC TO STOP DONATING HIM SESAME OIL.
Teng Kèléi, the 75 year old Sing Ren resident who tossed sesame oil at children on 31st October has asked members of the public to stop donating bottles of the seasoning, claiming that he has enough to ‘last [himself] a lifetime’.
Despite police warning him not to toss the seasoning at visitors, several members of the public have been receptive to his actions and have donated him several bottles of the seasoning with one donor giving him a 1 gallon barrel.
But Mr Teng is asking the public to stop donating the seasoning in an open letter published on the Sing Ren Daily.
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ANTI HALLOWEEN ELDERLY HOSPITALISED AFTER CONSUMING HOME MADE HONEY.
Teng Kèléi, the 75 year old Sing Ren resident who poured sesame oil at children on 31st October, has been sent to hospital after consuming home made sesame oil.
Mr Teng, who is living alone, complained of headaches, vomiting and stomach pain. Mr Teng claimed that he developed the symptoms shortly after eating a dish containing home made sesame oil.
Food Safety Standards have urged producers of home made ingredients to taste their produce before offering them to relatives or friends.
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VOTING FOR THIS SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTION WILL DESTROY BAI LUNGESE SOCIETY, WARNS CONSERVAITVE MLAS.
In an open letter signed by over 300 politicians, they warned that the successful passage of the resolution will destroy Bai Lungese culture and be replaced with one that is unfamiliar to them which would lead to the extinction of the Bai Lungese people.
‘Christmas is a purely western phenomenon and it must be swiftly reject in our society’.
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MAN GETS BIT BY PANDA IN PYONGJING CENTRAL ZOO; ARRESTED FOR TRESPASSING.
A man has been arrested for illegally entering a giant panda enclosure at Pyongjing Central Zoo.
Yang Ōuyī, entered the pen illegally hoping to hug one of the pandas. It was there when female resident Xīng Bīng bit him in the ankle, causing Yang much pain.
Zoo staff were able to escort Mr Yang from the premise but was arrested shortly after for trespassing.
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ENVIRONMENTALISTS CELEBRATION PASSAGE OF RESOLUTION.
Environmentalists in Bai Lung have expressed joy at the successful passage of the Reducing Light Pollution at the World Assembly.
The resolution was passed by 10,017 votes to 3,271. The resolution would compel nation stations to adopt measures to reduce the amount of excessive artificial lighting in their streets
Whilst leftist environmentalist expressed glee on the passage, many residents have voice concern that the reduction of lighting would make their streets more dangerous.
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DINE AND DASH CRIMES INCREASE BY 1000% THIS MONTH.
Over 1,500 cases of dine and dash crimes have occurred nationwide during the period of July to September this year.
The numbers are an increase of 150 during the same period from last year, a 10 fold increase.
Conservative MLAs have dismissed the root causes of the problem such as cost of living and suggest harsher penalties should be imposed on offenders instead.
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CONSERVATIVE MLAS CONDEMN PASSAGE OF WASTEFUL SECURITY COUNCIL RESOLUTION.
Conservative Senators and MLAs have condemned the passage of the Security Council Resolution All I Want For Christmas Is You.
Described by many politicians in the country as wasteful and pointless, the resolution was passed by 7,843 votes to 5,270. The resolution urges all nations to ‘bring joy to themselves and in turn to their citizens during Christmas’
Dong Men MLA Ai Sha has called the resolution useless and urged citizens not to observe the western holiday.
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NIGHTCLUB OWNER ARRESTED FOR POSSESSION OF CRYSTAL METH.
A Sing Ren based nightclub owner has been arrested for possession of crystal meth.
In the early hours of this morning, a drugs raid was conducted on the Six Seasons Club. It was there when 10 beer bottles containing crystal meth were found in the offices of owner Chen Bùlǐ
The nightclub will remain closed until further notice.
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SOPHISTICATED INVESTORS RESOLUTION REPEAL IS THWARTED.
The World Assembly has defeat plans to repeal the Sophisticated Investors Protocol resolution.
Nations voted by 9,843 votes to 3,402 to maintain existing legislation over repealing it.
Several nations who voted for repeal believe it denigrates non-expert investors in the terminology chosen in the existing resolution. Future attempts to repeal it is not ruled out.
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PIKE’S CASTLE WOES CONTINUES: BOAR FOUND.
The Pikes Castle Shopping Mall in Pyongjing has experienced another set back as two wild boars stormed into the premise and terrified shoppers.
The boars did not injury anyone but did damage a vending machine. They were tranquilised by animal handlers and taken away from the premise after frightening by-standers for an hour.
It is the latest unwanted news for the badly received shopping mall alongside the collapse of the building’s false ceiling and several bits of concrete falling down.
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POLICE ARREST 10 PEOPLE OVER TAXI LICENCE TRADE BRAWL.
10 people have been arrested in Pyongjing over a bid to grab to the last taxi licences issued for November.
Obtaining a taxi licence is costly and scarce as only 120 new licences are issued in the capital every year, an average of 10 per month. There are no legislation to regulate the trading of licences, making it easy to trade the licences between different parties without any govermental oversight. As of November 2023, an average taxi licence costs BL$1 million.
Police were called to Da Ao Market after 10 men were fighting each other over who was the highest bidder for the licence.
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ANTI GOVERNMENT PROTESTER ARRESTED FOR USING COUNTERFEIT NOTE IN PYONGJING SUBWAY AND ASSAULTING POLICE OFFICERS.
A man has been arrested on suspicion of using a counterfeit dollar banknote at a Pyongjing subway.
Zhang Zhǔrén attempted to pay for an all day pass at Jīnzhōng Station using a forged BL$10 note. Zhang became beilligerent towards staff defending his actions.
The self proclaimed private citien showed no signs of backing down from his actions despite police presence. Zhang elbowed an officer and kicked another in the shins before being swiftly restrained and handcuffed for his actions.
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TWO WORKERS KILLED BY HIJACKED EXCAVATOR.
Two workers have been killed by a Kashgar man who hijacked an excavator.
The incident took place at a site in Xiao Shui Wan when the yet to be identified Kashgar hijacker took the excavator and hit the two men.
The individual was shot by security shortly afterwards. The two men were taken to Xiao Shui Wan Hospital but they succumbed to their injuries at 1900 yesterday.
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BICYCLE THIEF ARRESTED IN XIN JILUNG.
A teenager has been arrested by police for stealing a dozen bicycles over the period of a week at the resort town of Xin Jilung.
Li Bùlún went on a stealing spree by taking the bikes in the northern and eastern areas of the town. The 15 year old used pliers to cut the chain off from the bikes.
Li was finally caught by police at 1800 yesterday after three cyclist gave a description of him.
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ARMOURED BULLDOZER DESTROYED BY KASHGAR INSURGENTS.
An armoured bulldozer has been destroyed by Kashgar insurgents in the village of Bāng Tè.
The bulldozer was sent to the village to remove derelict buildings in the area for the land to be used for property development but the operator of the vehicle, whose name is withheld for security reasons, was attacked unexpectedly by a barrage of petrol bombs. The operator exited the vehicle and left the premise in an accompanied car.
The Home Secretary has confirmed the destruction of the armoured vehicle but also stated the individual is alive and not kidnapped.
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FORCE FED ON BICYCLE THIEF CRITICISED.
Human rights groups have criticised Xin Jilung police for admitting that they were coerced into feeding a boy for stealing bicycles.
15 year old Li Bùlún was arrested on suspicion of stealing a dozen bikes in the popular resort town. Since his detention, he has refused to consume any food or drink as a protest tactic against his arrest.
Police have confirmed that Li was feed congee and water but admitted to ‘using force’ in order feed him. Human rights groups have called the act barbaric and reminiscent of the Chen Jong Sun era.
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SAFE TRANSPORTATION OF HAZARDOUS MATERIAL IS PASSED.
Nations have voted in favour to pass the World Assembly resolution the Safe Transportation of Hazardous Material.
The resolution was passed by 10,690 votes to 1,577. The resolution would enact a set of uniform standards to protect wildlife and make companies accountable to any mishandling of hazardous material produce.
President Gong Chūrù has described the passage of the resolution as overkill.
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COOK JAILED FOR LIFE IN PRISON FOR POISONING PLOT.
A cook has been jailed for life in prison without any chance of parole for planning to poison all the care home residents.
Ai Báixī was found guilty of planning to poison every single elderly resident and then claim their inheritance.
Calling it one of sickest cases he has handled to date, Chief Justice Hong Byun-Chen called Ai a ‘deprived man who is obsessed with material wealth’.
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POLICE ARRESTED ANTI-GONG TROUBLEMAKERS.
A protester has been detained by police for wearing a t-shirt that could be seen as inciting hatred towards President Gong Chūrù.
Pyongjing based Zhang Jìzhuān, 26, was wearing a t-shirt in Pike’s Castle mall showing a satirical caricature of President Gong with a rope wrapped around his neck. Police did not see the funny side and arrested Zhang for his antics.
Police have also arrested a man who waved rope around whilst mimicking a person being hung at the gallows.
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POLICE ON THE HUNT TO FIND DRUG TRAFFICKER.
Police are appealing to the public to find a drug trafficker who is using drones to transport his narcotics.
A drone was shot down by police in Pyongjing after residents complained of its presence. The drone was searched for potential deadly weapons but only found 2 x 50g bags of ketamine,
Police have released the serial number of the drone in hopes that the suspect will be found. The authorities will also review CCTV footage of every street within 500 yards of where the drone was shot down.
