Ducal Drama

Smigsachwian parliament
His Graciousness Duke Albert Johans von Liechtenstein II
Ducal Prime Minister Thomas Josef Aussenberg
Ministers

Loudness. Ministers are yelling over each other.

Prime Minister
-Your Graciousness! Explain yourself!

Ministers (left)
-YES!

Ministers (right)
-WHY?

Duke
-Quiet! I do not have to explain myself!

Prime Minister
-Yes you do! Another budget cut for the military! We already do not have any weapon technology program! All of our weaponry we are buying from Serenitech!

Ministers (left)
-SCANDAL!

Duke
-I did so to decrease national debt! The one you are keeping away from the public! I did so we won’t collapse from the inside!

Ministers (right)
-SCANDAL!

Prime Minister
-Soon we won’t be able to defend ourselves! We will collapse from the outside! Besides! Serenitech’s prices are too high! It’s a theft in a broad day light, and you are agreeing for it!

Ministers (left)
-HE’S RIGHT!

Ministers (right)
-NO HE’S NOT!

Duke
-I already arranged a meeting with Serenitech regarding new jets. It’s much cheaper then starting the production ourselves. We are saving money that will be spent to rise the level of living in our country! If you think this is such a theft, I have a great news for you, my Prime Minister! YOU will be the one to fly there instead of me, and bargain with them!

Ministers (both)
breathing in
-HUUUUH?

Prime Minister
-What?

Duke
-Yes, you will see how easy it is to bargain with Serenitech. Just be careful of your life. End of debate!

Ministers (both)
Uproar starts

Office of Mister Sharpe
CEO Malcolm Sharpe
CIO Andrew F. Olsen
CSO Adalbert Kilgore
Secret Service Officer Konrad Vimes

Olsen
-So this is how this whole situation looks.

Sharpe
thinking
-Prime Minister?

Olsen
-Yes, sir.

Sharpe
-The one that hates us?

Olsen
-Yes, sir.

Sharpe
thinking
-If we play it right, we just might pull something interesting off. Please ask Mr. Kilgore to come here, would you?

Kilgore
entering the room
-You called, sir?

Sharpe
-Yes. In a few days we will have a guest from Smigsachenweiz, regarding the renewal of the arms deal. Mr. Aussenberg.

Kilgore
-Prime Minister?

Sharpe
-Yes.

Kilgore
-The one that hates us?

Sharpe
-Yes.

Kilgore
-Interesting. What shall we do?

Sharpe
-Is there a way of getting rid of him, and making it look like a foreign attack?

Kilgore
-Possibly. Would have to ask Mr. Vimes.

Sharpe
-Send for him.

Vimes
entering the room
-Sir?

Kilgore
-We are planning on killing the guest from Smigsachenweiz, their Prime Minister.

Vimes
-Prime Minister?

Kilgore
-Yes.

Vimes
-The one that hates us?

Kilgore
-Yes.

Vimes
-Interesting. What is the plan?

Sharpe
-I’m thinking - after the trade talks, when he flies off to Smigsachenweiz, you make sure something happens to him. Something lethal. However we have to make it look like an attack from outside.

Olsen
-But who? Stromburg?

Sharpe
-Certainly not. No motive. It would only hurt us.

Kilgore
-Listonia! They are socialists, so they could try to remove the Duke from his position!

Vimes
-No, no, no. Listonia, and Smigsachenweiz, are too close. There is no way, Listonians would act like this. If anyone, it would be Lazlowia, but they do not have any business with Smigsachenweiz.

Sharpe
-Vodrak. They would certainly do something like this, as this is standard diplomatic condemnation. Plus, we can always say, they tried to take back at us, for the whole Crystvodia thing, and the paperweights.

Olsen
-Oh, don’t remind me of the paperweights. And do NOT remind them.

Vimes
-However it may work. I say, it’s the best choice.

Sharpe
-Then, it’s settled.

Thomas Josef Aussenberg, who was bearing the title of Ducal Prime Minister was sitting in the lobby. The doors opened, and from there a blond and bearded gentleman appeared.

“Mister Sharpe.” Said Prime Minister in a tone didn’t outright sound like an insult, but it certainly had a little hint of hatred.

“Prime Minister Aussenberg! Please, would you join me in my office?” said Sharpe politely, hiding the fact, he had spotted the hint of disrespect.

For a long after both suit wearing gentlemen disappeared behind the office doors, Janet was staring the them. While most secretaries got their jobs because of their bust, they looks, their ability to swallow the pride and have the intercourse with the boss, or most likely, combination of those three attributes, she got her job because of her voice. While she was kinda pretty, she didn’t bear massive ‘picasso cubes’, and she had never been, or considered sex with her boss. She got chosen because of her voice. That’s how Serenitech worked - you had to have something long-term to offer to get a job. In her case that was her soothing voice, that did wonders when speaking to clients. Nobody objected, even if they got offered robbery-like prices.

“Speaking of voices, they are yelling a lot there…” she said to herself, commenting the ‘business talks’ that happened inside Sharpe’s Office.

After an hour or two, from behind the door emerged figure of Smigsachwian Prime Minister wiping his forehead with a handkerchief.
“Jesus it’s harder then I thought” he mumbled. As he drove away in the limo heading for the airport, Sharpe said to the intercom.

“Janet, be a dear and bring me a glass of black rum. Scratch that, bring me a whole bottle. And let mister Vimes know, that he should start preparing our little guest.”

“Right away sir. Would like a pack of cigarettes with it?”

“No, thank you Janet. I still have a few last Zigaras with me” The popular Serenitech-made cigarettes. Zigaras were his favorite. As he opened the windows and lit a cigarette he looked out, searching for a white point on the horizon. Soon enough, was that fifteen minutes, or an hour he didn’t realize, he saw it. Diplomatic plane from Smigsachenweiz had risen, and then after a few seconds burst open in a flare, just as ash fell from Sharpe’s last cigarette.

“Duke pronounced a mourning period 'till Friday” said Vimes releasing the smoke from his lungs. Another cloudy day in Suterin. Here on the balcony on the 60th floor of the Serenity Tower, he could see the panorama of the city. All those little points, moving, working, earning money. The big, and well-oiled machine of the Serenitech was working at it’s best. And what was even better they were on a cigarette break.

“Good. Explain to him how we had to clean up the place of catastrophe, as it was blocking the crucial roads of the city. How’s our friend?”

“Dead. Unfortunately he died when we tried to capture him.
Of course the recordings are showing him planting the explosives. He did a bloody good job. Until the very last moments he didn’t see through our plan.”
Ah, yes, the guy. Noone was quite sure, what is going on in Vodrak. The guy tried to explain something, but nobody really cared. He said he was a borsuk, or something like that. What’s important is for a bunch of weapons he agreed to help Serenitech with this little job. Of course wasn’t filled with the idea of dying during the arresting. But their conscience was clear. The weapons that were the payment were already transported to the terrains of Vodrak. Sure, some of the weapons didn’t work, and most of them was faulty, but there wasn’t a specification that those weapons must be in perfect condition! After all, Serenitech would never support a terrorist organization as this one!

“Great. Then, you, Olsen, release the information that we offer our condolences to the families of the crew of the plane, those closest to the Prime Minister, and to the whole nation of Smigsachenweiz. Also inform the international news, about that Vodrakian, and how he was the one behind the attack. Of course also mention that due to this incident, all airline companies owned by Serenitech are enlarging their security, so flying with Serenitech is now safer then ever.”
Sharpe inhaled smoke from the cigarette. The pleasant dizziness has spread throughout him. This was a good day.

“Not to soon, sir?”

“Hm, you might be right, Olsen. Wait two days with this information. Now…” Sharpe put out his cigarette. “…I have to go. I have to figure out, how to get to the Vekaiyu’s market. I mean, the great doors of Vekaiyu are starting to set ajar. It would be most unfortunately, if we didn’t try to use this opening.”

“I understand. I’ll inform you later about the response of the world.” he said to the CEO of Serentiech who disappeared behind the doors.

Adam van Haven was calmly sitting in his chamber drinking his tea, when all the sudden Butler rushed in.
-Sir!- He stopped dead in his tracks as two guards jumped out and grabbed him
-Let him be.- Adam said and dismissed his guards with a wave of his hand
-They don’t like me?- Butler asked when the guards left
-Nobody does. They tolerate you. Maybe just barely.- Adam remarked. -So tell me, how is our vulpine guest?-
-“Dead”- Butler accented the word carefully
-Aha. Shame. I always thought you would be merciful on her. Maybe I am getting soft.- Adam sighed -But I doubt you just rushed in here as if a borsuk legion was chasing you to tell me that you sentenced the vulpine for hours of pain. Unless I underestimate your sadism.-
-Ha. ha.- Butler said -No, that is not the reason I am here. I am here to tell you that some Serenitechian news claims we killed one… umm…- Butler look at a piece of paper he had with him -Ducal Prime Minister Thomas Josef Aussenberg-
-Hmm? Did we order him killed?-
-Sir I wouldn’t know-
-Then check the book.-
-…- Butler sighed heavily -very well my lord.- He walked over to a book case and pulled out a huge leather book. Clearly it was far more heavy than it looked, as Butler broke a sweat carring it over to the emperor’s desk. The emperor was amazed.
-Is that a list of everyone we assassinated?- he gasped
-No sir. This is just a list from this month.-
-Aha… ok…-
-And its only A to K.-
-We should cut back on killing people. At this rate we will kill the planet in five years!-
-Two and a half sir. We calculated that option.-
-Really…-
-Sir, it is one viable way for world domination. The dead offer no resistance.-
-Well? Did we have him killed?-
-Checking…- Butler swung the book open at roughly the hundreth page -Au… Auss… aha! Aussenberg!-
-We did?!-
-Oh no wait… that’s a diffrent Aussenberg.-
-How many Aussenbergs can there be?!-
-Fifteen families sir. If you’d like we have calculated the best way to remove the remaining fourteen.-
-Maybe later. Right now we must somehow… reject the whole matter!-
Butler sighed heavily -How sir?-
-Hmm…- Adam sank into deep thought and then said -Maybe we do not need to react? Send our agents to Smigsachenweiz. Have them inflitrate the society and spread other rumours. Have them say… um… Vulshain did it?-
-As you command sir. Will there be anything else?-
-Why yes. My tea is cold.-

The Vulshainian ambassador to Smigsachenweiz sent the message to the Duke of Smigsachenweiz.

— Begin quote from ____

Dear Duke of Smigsachenweiz,

The Rainard Royal Family has asked me to send you this message.  They are both shocked and angered at such a vile act.  They ask if there is anything they can do for the people of Smigsachenweiz.

Sincerely,

Ambassador Donald Kreigstein

P.S.  I have also been informed that Vulshain’s Main Military Intelligence Directive (MMID) has offered to assist your intelligence department in finding any leads or clues to who is responsible.  I have also been informed by the Department of Internal and External Intelligence and Security (DIEIS) of Vulshain that they also are willing to provide Smigsachenweiz with any and all information you need.  Simply ask and it will be given immediately.

— End quote

Donald Kreigstein sighed again as he sent the message to the Duke. He also had the Confederate Protection Guards (CPGs) and Embassy Guards to be at full alert. Embassy Guards were selected from the best Confederate Special Airborne Troopers (C-SAT) in the Vulshainian military. The CPGs were also skilled in keeping intruders and assassins at bay as well.