Hlenderian Associated Press Agency

THANELIN, Hamshak Province – The eastern coastal city of Thanelin was the site of clashes last week between Kwari and Mūni youths that left twelve in the hospital, with two of the victims in critical condition. Local police, after some initial difficulty, broke up the violence and placed twenty more men under arrest. The clashes are the third outbreak of ethnic violence in Hamshak Province this year, and the first major incident in Thanelin, a fishing community of about 28,000.

Hamshak Province has seen an uptick in ethnic differences in the past five years, occasionally erupting into violence between the local Mūnim and Kwarim. A rising Mūni population has led the local political party Traditionalist Kwarim, which has controlled the provincial legislature for the past century, to lose ground to Mūni parties, of which the irredentist Mūni Peoples Front (MPF) is the most prominent.

Hamshak Province, at the time of Hlenderia’s founding in the late 1600s, was part of the wide swath of land allocated to the Mūni people, but migration and the increasing wealth of local Kwari landholders led to it being considered a Kwari exclave stronghold by 1790. Both major Mūni political parties, the MPF and smaller United Southeastern Bands, consider the control of Hamshak Province and its metropolitan center of Hamrith to be central to any political comeback.

The MPF and the USB both advocate for the return of what is now the Morst territory of Joralesia to the Hlenderian government and a general repudiation of all foreign treaties. The Traditionalist Kwarim, which His Majesty the King belonged to before his election, reject what they consider to be “tired, revanchist rage-mongering”.

The violence last week in Thanelin began after a lobster boat owned by ethnic Kwarim was accused of stealing Mūni traps. A local bar, Udul’s, saw fighting between men in the evening before general street brawling ensued. Two men, Matabael Shumusa and Ulath Erabad, remain in the hospital in critical condition.

Thanelin’s city council and its Kwari mayor Gadroni Girrōth condemned the brawl, and called on the MPF and USB to “stop inciting violence”.

From the Pelachis Observer, Sunday Edition

Councillor Darsi Receives Suspension Following Tuesday’s Brouhaha

PELACHIS, Capital Province — A Mūni legislator was ejected from the Grand Council on Tuesday for causing a disturbance following the legislature’s vote to request admittance to the Council of Gondwana on behalf of Hlenderia as an observer state.

After the vote passed 126-61, Saharu-madis Darsi, of the Mūni Peoples Front, took the floor and began accosting President Marsilamat Indari and his legislative majority, to cheers from legislators from the MPF and its ally, the United Southeastern Mūni Bands. Darsi accused the President and his party, the Traditionalist Kwarim, of “promoting cosmopolitan ideology” and “humiliating Hlenderia” through their “obsession with gaining the approval of foreigners”.

The Council floor exploded into shouts when, halfway through his speech, Darsi stopped using Standard Hlenderian and lapsed into his native Mūni dialect. Darsi was finally ejected by the Speaker when he addressed the President directly using informal pronouns, saying to Indari - translated for the benefit of our Staynish-speaking readers - “thou wilt regret fraternizing with these foreign animals. Thou wouldst have Hlenderians coequal with foreign orcs, elves, and all manner of lesser beings!”

For these remarks, the Speakers Office suspended Darsi for two days and fined him 1,500 dina for “insulting the office of the President through his use of the informal, and for promoting interspecies prejudice.”

The Pelachis Observer notes that the Mūni Peoples Front paid Darsi’s fine, and a recent campaign email for the embattled legislator said “Saharu-madis regrets nothing!”[1] President Indari, in a press conference after the incident, said that “It is regrettable that Councillor Darsi lost his temper, but this does not negate the great win that our majority has achieved. We look forward to our acceptance letter from the Council of Gondwana, and hope that this is merely another step by Hlenderia towards greater prominence on the world stage.”

The vote was the culmination of a two-year-long campaign by Indari and His Majesty the King to join the Council of Gondwana. The Observer understands that His Majesty and the President’s office hoped that the legislature would approve an application for full member status, but that the government chose to apply for observer status to appease right-wing members of the Kwari People’s Party and the Traditionalist Kwarim. Fifteen members of the Liberal Party joined the government to vote for Hlenderia’s application.


  1. This wordplay, clear in Hlenderian, can become lost in translation. Darsi’s first name, “Saharu-madis”, translates to “Great Regret” and is said to be in reference to his behavior as a young man after his first hunt. ↩︎

From the Nagmūrith Journal

‘My Fever Could Melt the Permafrost!’ - The Sempiternic Adventurer Returns to Port After Stomach Flu Outbreak

The Sempiternic Adventurer returns to Nagmūrith after an outbreak of stomach flu sickened at least 30.

Torvān Geralith looked forward to braving the harsh seas of Hlenderia’s Southern Passage, watching whales from a ship’s deck high above the ocean, and seeing the southern lights over Sempiterna. Instead, he spent a miserable four days locked in his cabin with stomach flu.

“It was awful”, Geralith, a Vrotri man from the city of Charrālu in the northwest, told the Journal. “I would open the door to my balcony when my fever was peaking, and then have to get back out of bed to close it when it became too cold.”

The Sempiternic Adventurer, operated by the Mūni-owned company Southern Passage Adventures, returned to port in Nagmūrith a mere three days into its planned 12-day excursion into Sempiterna, after stomach flu spread throughout the cruise, affecting crew and passengers alike. The incident, following a similar outbreak on another SPA ship two years ago, calls into question the hygienic practices on the company’s cruise liners.

Local government in Nagmūrith has been loath to impose stricter inspections and health protocols on Sempiternic cruises, which have provided a valuable source of income to the city since their introduction in the early 2000s. This summer, six ships from three different owner-operators have left Nagmūrith for excursions south, carrying passengers from across Hlenderia and the globe. The Adventurer in particular has been busy this season, with its 12-day “Icy Experience” tour being conducted in December and January already.

The most recent ill-fated expedition will be SPA’s last for this season. As local winter approaches, weather conditions in the Southern Passage and on the Sempiternal continent make casual cruises unsafe.

A map depicting Sempiterna and Nagmūrith, one of the closest human settlements to the southern continent.

Southern Passage Adventures declined to comment on this story, but one passenger with medical training, pressed into service onboard the ship due to the great number of affected riders, spoke to the Journal on condition of anonymity.

This passenger said the outbreak was believed to have begun with a family who came down with stomach flu shortyl after attending the “Melt the Permafrost Dance Party” on the main deck last Monday, before the ship departed Nagmūrith. Given the speed of their illness, it is believed the family carried the virus onboard the ship.

By Tuesday, a dozen more passengers had become sick, and by Wednesday, fully half the passengers and a third of the crew were ill, forcing the captain to order the Sempiternic Adventurer back to port. None of the planned land excursions were conducted.

Torvān Geralith, who also attended the send-off dance party, kept his spirits up with a bit of gallows humor. “‘Melt the Permafrost party’ - my fever could melt the permafrost!”

Three passengers, a Vrotri couple and a foreign tourist, were medevaced to Oraminseth on the western coast to be treated for advanced dehydration, but the Journal understands all three are now recovered. Passengers and their families are advocating for Southern Passage Adventures to refund the cost of their cruise. SPA, for their part, has been careful to avoid any public comment.

Alpu-Ratanu Sakabil (Mūni Peoples Front) , one of Nagmūrith’s representatives to the Grand Council, urged the local government to institute more thorough hygienic screenings, saying that outbreaks of flu are a serious problem on Sempiternic cruises and harm the reputation of the local economy. It is unclear how effective hygienic screenings could be, given the breadth of viruses than can cause gastroenteritis and the lack of rapid tests outside of large hospitals.

Torvān Geralith, though, has regained some of his strength, and has high spirits. “I would still like to see the polar continent. I want to see the big penguins. If SPA refunds me the cost of my ticket, I will definitely book another cruise - with someone else!”

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From the Pelachis Observer

Attending Mærhalen Summit, Government Signals Concessions To Irredentists

The Observer sends thanks to @Norgsveldet for co-writing

Joralesia-Hlenderia border

A border crossing between Hlenderia and Joralesia, with signage in multiple languages.

Mærhalen, Tangrland - Mærhalen, the capital city of Gondwana’s second most populated country, Tangrland, is hosting a diplomatic summit between the representatives from Tangrland, Meremaa and Hlenderia. The summit is hosted and organized by Minister-President Sigrid Basgu who proclaimed that the summit is to promote cross Gondwanan cooperation and what she described as a shared opposition to continued Morstaybishlian colonialism in Gondwana. With Mrs. Basgu arguing on increasing cooperation between the three participating countries in economic and security fields.

The Prime Minister of Meremaa, Talinat Dusmas, is also joining the summit with her stating that she looks favorably to increasing its already close ties with Tangrland and to starting a closer relationship with Hlenderia. With her claiming that the summit will also include conversations about NCEF investment and financial aid to Hlenderia. When asked for a comment before the summit about Meremaa’s interest she simply proclaimed that. “My nation has always taken the position that Gondwana is vital now more than ever for the NCEF. If I can help start a larger conversation within the NCEF in our partnerships and relations with other Gondwanan states then I will do it.”

When Minister-President Sigrid Basgu was asked about Tangrland’s agenda for the summit she stated that: “Gondwanan nations must work closer together in opposition to old and new imperialism from foreign states, with focus on promoting and protecting our diverse and distinct cultures. All the participants have our disputes and issues with Morstaybishlia, I think we have a greater ability to solve them If we work together rather than separately.”

It is widely believed that Hlenderia is attending the summit on the urging of internal factions that believe the island nation has a claim on the Morstaybishlian colony of Joralesia, on its northwestern border. The Hlenderian government itself does not formally claim Joralesia as part of its national territory, but the country’s elected King, Yendrin, and its head-of-government, Grand Council President Marsilamat Indari, have ties to revanchist elements.

Likely to tamp down rumors of an imminent change in the government’s policy towards its neighbor, Hlenderia is sending a legislator, Councillor Gilantus Relennu, to the summit in Tangrland in lieu of the King or President. When approached for comment, Relennu said: “Hlenderia has always opposed the efforts of foreign colonizers on our island, and in South Gondwana generally. If Tangrland and Meremaa share our sentiments, and wish to discuss avenues to jointly empower formerly colonized nations on the continent, the Commonwealth is happy to oblige.”

The Hlenderian public’s response to what some call “the question of the Northwest Provinces” is varied, with a majority opposing efforts to lay claim to Joralesia, and a vocal minority supporting it. If, as Relennu suggested, the government will frame its approach as one of “anti-colonialism”, it may follow up with attempts to build a coalition between right-wing irredentists and left-wing anti-colonialists.

The results of the upcoming summit will be closely followed, and we will report on events there as they occur.


OPINION: Mærhalen Summit Puts Gov’t in Awkward Position

Gavikwaris Berrith served on the Grand Council of Hlenderia from 1978-2015, where he was a member of United Vrotrim. He served as Chair of the Appropriations Committee from 1987-1995, and Chief of the Natural Resources Bureau from 1995-2000. Upon his retirement, he became a political analyst for the Norrith Observer.

Since I left my seat on the Grand Council, the government has made a right turn on its approach towards international diplomacy. As recently as 2013, my colleague Gilantus Relennu of the Traditionalist Kwarim said, “there is nothing across the northern straits or the wide ocean that has any bearing on Hlenderia”. In January, Relennu enthusiastically supported the government’s application to the International Forum, and was rumored to have been in contention for the ambassadorship to that body (Avi Releth proved to be the government’s choice for that position, likely because he was never as proudly xenophobic as Relennu).

I was happy to see this sea change in Hlenderian foreign policy, even if I was watching it as a retiree. Unfortunately, the government’s recent decision to send Relennu to the upcoming Mærhalin Summit in Tangrland makes clear what King Yendrin and President Indari’s intentions were with this pivot: to use the language of liberal diplomacy to advance its unrealistic territorial claims with regards to Joralesia. In Mærhalen, Relennu will be surrounded with representatives from Tangrland and Meremaa, all too happy to commisserate with him over centuries-old grievances.

Since the passage of treaties ceding Joralesia to Great Morstaybishlia centuries ago, irrendentist Hlenderians have pushed for the return of what they call the “Northwest Provinces”. For most of Hlenderia’s history, however, we have also understood the impossibility of reneging on those treaties. It is only with the dawning of the modern era, and Hlenderia’s economic development of the past 20 years, that this issue has returned to the forefront of political discussion. I remember in 1989 when King Yendrin, then a fellow Councillor, spoke aggressively on the floor of the Grand Council of the need to retake Joralesia, and in 1997 when now-President Marsilamat Indari - then a fresh-faced Councillor replacing his mentor Meril Kwaran - told the press that by the end of the 21st century, Joralesia would once again be back in Hlenderian hands.

While this was happening, similar movements were taking place far to the north in Tangrland and Meremaa. With both nations having had a long dispute with Morstaybishlia and its overseas territories of Dalamaghar, Balidar and Kystland. Disputes which have its origins in the rivalries between the empires of Morstaybishlia and Norgsveldet. Though like Hlenderia it was not until the 21st century that these territories would be given new lime light, with the rise of the liberal irredentist ideology of Svendism in Meremaa having put new popularity for Pan-Meremain territorial claims. While in Tangrland the new administration under Minister-President Sigrid Basgu seems steadfast taking a more proactive stance in her recently independent nation’s foreign policy, which lead her to take a strong interventionist position in the Salisian Civil War. With her government escalating its support to Tangrianist separatists. Though Mrs. Basgu taken several democratic and federalist approach in her reform, her nation like ours seems to try to take a more aggressive approach to appease irredentists and nationalists.

Now, these personages will unite in Mærhalen for a summit to discuss how to press these historic claims. This puts our government in an awkward position. Unlike Meremaa and Tangrland, Hlenderia has never formally repudiated the Joralesian treaties. Nor is there a political will to do so. United Vrotrim, the largest party in the ruling coalition, rejects attempts to claim Joralesia in its party platform, and of my own Kwari People’s Party, more than half of its Councillors oppose the same.

The fact that King Yendrin and President Indari both support revanchist claims to the “Northwest Provinces” obscures the reality that the governing coalition, by and large, does not. The King’s own daughter, Yendrina - a Councillor for the Kwari People’s Party representing Kwarrōth’s Grant in Isher Province - opposes our country’s participation in this summit, saying that “it can only lead to further estrangement with our Morst diplomatic partners.”

Indeed it will. It is certain that Morstaybishlia will never give up its claim to the northwest corner of our island. And even if it did, how would our country integrate the millions of people of Morst descent living there? Would they give up their foreign style of governance, their “liberal democracy”, for our own native system? It is clear that the government is unable or unwilling to consider these questions. The irredentists’ “partners in crime”, the two Mūni parties, are clear on how they would answer these questions: Aleū-Mundasu Mishabit, of the Mūni Peoples Front, said in 2022 that “All foreign-colonists must be expelled from this island.”

The government should recognize the reactionary forces behind the recent rise in revanchism in our country and pull out of this summit. It is hypocritical to turn to foreign countries for support in ripping up the Joralesian treaties. How could Hlenderian word be trusted on any matter, if we would unite with other aggrieved parties to repudiate it afterwards?

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From the Pelachis Observer

End of Mærhalen Summit promises investment in Hlenderia, military cooperation

Foreign businessmen and military personnel were seen arriving at Hlenderian ports-of-entry this week, with at least two hired buses being seen at Pelachis International Airport and the Port of Norrith. The arrival of soldiers in foreign uniforms sparked a minor flurry at Pelachis International Airport, with officials there clarifying to locals that the visitors were expected, their custom paperwork in order, and the reason for their presence in Hlenderia: as the advance force of a Tangrian detachment sent to train the Hlenderian Armed Forces.

At the end of the Mærhalen Summit in late March, the participating nations of Hlenderia, Tangrland, and Meremaa agreed to embark on further cooperation and support of each others territorial claims. While Gilantus Relennu, the Hlenderian plenipotentiary to the summit, stopped short of endorsing a Hlenderian claim to Joralesia, he did affirm the government’s belief, until now unofficial, that “the Morst territories of Kystland, Balidar and Dalamaghar rightly belong to the Tangrian and Meremain peoples”.

In return for this endorsement of the Tangrian/Meremain position on the Morst territories of North Gondwana, the Hlenderian government has reportedly been promised an investment of up to 4 billion UKR by the two nations, especially in its fish and forestry industries. Hlenderia’s fisheries - overwhelmingly owned and operated by the Mūni people - are a regionally-important exporter of cod, haddock, and other whitefish and stand to gain financially from this agreement. Affirming this new money source, the two Mūni parties on the Grand Council made a rare joint endorsement of the government’s plans with regards to this new investment.

Likely the most visible, and controversial, effect of Hlenderia’s cooperation on this matter are the brigade of Tangrian soldiers being sent to the Commonwealth to train its armed forces. The Opposition, especially Liberal Party leaders, fear that the influx of Tangrian military might could be interpreted by the Morst government as saber-rattling. Liberal Party Councillor Galasea Frelen was even more harsh in her criticisms of the Government’s plans, calling the move “hypocritical”, given “this Government’s recent attempts to cut pensions”.

In Council on Monday, President Marsilamat Indari said “His Majesty and I both believe that the advisors from our new Tangrian friends are essential to maintain the Armed Forces at a state of readiness, and to improve the training of our brave soldiers.”

Sigrid Basgu, the Minister-President of Tangrland, is understood to have also offered the Hlenderian government the ability to purchase its HK-22 fighter jet, a modern fighting aircraft that outperforms the Hlenderian Air Force’s older models. In Council on Monday, Councillor Frelen pressed President Indari to comment on whether the government intended to purchase any HK-22 fighters, “given the recent budget constraints”. Indari refused to comment.

As the Grand Council debated these issues on Monday, the two buses spotted at Pelachis International Airport departed and headed for Hlandresi Military Base in Damakasu, a suburb of the capital. There, every soldier our correspondent spoke to expressed that they looked forward to seeing advanced foreign hardware, and hoped that the Tangrian advisors would make themselves at home.

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From the Pelachis Observer

Census Committee Members Announced

June 18, 2024

The Grand Council of Hlenderia has announced the members of this year’s Census Committee. The Census Committee, formed every five years for the duration of the Commonwealth’s Census, represent each ethnic group of Hlenderia and are responsible for approving the final results for their respective peoples.

Representing the Vrotrim will be Councilor Alexander Verrith, a member of the Liberal Party. Verrith, who was born to a Vrotri mother and a Joralesian father, will be the first member of the Committee born to a foreign parent and the first Vrotri Committee member not from the ethnic party United Vrotrim. Verrith was elected in 2018, and represents the Third District in the city of Oramintanu.

Representing the Kwarim will be Bolidan Nerani, a member of Traditionalist Kwarim. This is his third term on the Census Committee. Nerani is an ally of President Marsilamat Indari and represents the center of his party. Recently, he became notable for having defended Indari’s decision to apply to the International Forum in the face of opposition from his own party. Nerani represents the Fifth District of the eastern city of Thanelin.

Finally, representing the Mūnim will be Councillor Kirubim-araru Sarachit. He was chosen unanimously by both Mūni parties, the Peoples Front and the United Southeastern Mūni Bands, to replace long-time Mūni Committee member Nechis-buri (Calm Sky) Merakwu. Councillor Merakwu retired from the Committee this year ahead of his retirement from the Council at-large following elections in November. Councilor Sarachit represents the town of Hlandrin, in Hlandrin Province.

The Mūni population is expected to rise further this year in response to investments in infrastructure and medical care undertaken by His Majesty Yendrin. Birth rates have continued to climb among the Mūni for twelve consecutive years, and a larger road network in the east and south of the country mean that more of the traditionally-nomadic Mūnim are able to turn up to census offices to be counted.

Our foreign readers are reminded of the importance of the quintannual censuses in Hlenderia. Because the majority of seats on the Grand Council are reserved for one of the three ethnicities in the nation, the census is crucial to determining control of the legislature. Foreign readers may remember the unrest that accompanied the census in 2014, when the eastern city of Thanelin saw rioting between Kwari and Mūni locals over political disputes.

President Indari has promised to harshly punish any “agitators” this year. The national Gendarmerie, which had its budget increased 12.5% this year ahead of the 2024 census, said through a spokesman that it is prepared to address any civil unrest that may arise.

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From the Thanelin Journal

Two injured, one shot in first violence of census season

Thanelin

THANELIN, Hamshak Province – Five men became involved in an altercation on Friday at the Hawk’s Hill census office over what witnesses said was an attempt to stop a Mūni woman from registering. Dram Falendasi, a Kwari man of 36, was shot in the foot by a Mūni man with an illegally registered pistol.

Witnesses say that a pair of women, one Kwari and one Mūni, were in line attempting to register for the census when Falendasi approached the Mūni woman attempting to get her to leave. The woman’s Kwari friend became angry at what she called “intimidation”, and began to shout. Shortly after, two Mūni men – Muparrit[1] Balmassa and his brother Allita-Nuni[2] Balmassa, arrived and began arguing with Falendasi and two members of the Kwari Sportsmen’s Association.

Witnesses say that after a brief physical altercation, Falendasi was shot by Muparrit Balmassa in the foot. Police arrived on the scene shortly after and arrested everyone involved. Falendasi remains in the hospital, and doctors say that he may lose function of his right foot.

Allita-Nuni Balmassa and two members of the Sportsmen’s Association were released without charge. The Chief Litigator’s office in Thanelin reports that it will charge Muparrit Balmassa with aggravated assault, and Dram Falendasi with one charge of threatening (political).

A spokesman for the Chief Litigator’s office says that they take reports of census intimidation very seriously, but that punishment for these crimes must be left to local police and the Legal Bureau. The spokesman said, “vigilante justice will never successfully bring peace to our community”.

The Chief Litigator further denied reports that Falendasi was a member of Traditionalist Kwarim. “As stewards of our city, we reject violence and intimidation in all its forms. Rumors that Falendasi was a member of the Traditionalist Kwarim or the Sportsmen’s Association are false. The two members of the Sportsmen’s Association present on the scene were attempting to restore order.”

The Hawk’s Hill Police Department and Chief Litigator’s office are looking for information on the Kwari and Mūni woman at the center of this incident. The women are urged to come forward to answer questions, and anyone with further knowledge of the incident is urged to contact the HHPD or the Chief Litigator.


  1. Meat-Eater ↩︎

  2. Crab-Catcher ↩︎