The General Assembly,
Understanding that GA#1 “Daybreak” recognizes the World Assembly (WA) maintains necessary infrastructure for the execution of its functions;
Affirming that such infrastructure should respect the national sovereignty of member nations and avoid imposing undue burdens upon them;
Observing that generations of delegates have demonstrated a remarkable tendency to conclude negotiations, settle misunderstandings, and accidentally draft treaties while gathered at the World Assembly Strangers’ Bar (WASB);
Further observing that the recent addition of the World Assembly Ballroom (WABR) has transformed the establishment from a favored diplomatic watering hole into one of the most practical meeting places; and
Concluding that it is generally wiser to designate the place everyone already uses as the World Assembly Headquarters (WAHQ) than to construct another one elsewhere or evict squatters from the previous location;
Hereby:
1. Designates the WASB, together with the adjoining WABR, as the official headquarters of the World Assembly (WASBBRHQ), serving as its principal venue for diplomatic engagement, administrative activity, official ceremonies, and such other functions as are necessary to facilitate the work of the World Assembly;
2. Declares that no member nation shall obtain preferential status or influence over WASBBRHQ operations by virtue of geography, patronage, or repeated success during trivia night;
3. Recognizes the corridor outside the restrooms as the Hall of Nations, acknowledging its historic role as the location of years’ worth of impromptu diplomatic discussions, emergency coalition-building, awkward encounters, and delegates pretending they were heading somewhere else all along;
4. Orders the placement of a photograph of the Kennyite delegation in a spot of honor above the bar;
5. Reserves the northwest corner booth of WASBBRHQ for exclusive use by the World Assembly Secretariat when conducting official business, with the stipulation that:
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Secretariat members shall only relinquish the booth whenever they unanimously agree that another table looks more comfortable; and
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no international incident shall arise solely because another delegation mistakenly believes the booth to be available;
6. Directs that routine operating expenses of the WASBBRHQ shall be offset through voluntary commercial revenue generated on the premises, including:
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a tip jar, the proceeds of which shall be distributed among WASBBRHQ custodial, hospitality, maintenance, and other building staff; and
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a jukebox, an automated teller machine (ATM), and exactly two slot machines, whose net revenues shall be dedicated exclusively to the maintenance, repair, improvement, and continued operation of the WASBBRHQ;
7. Clarifies that no member nation shall be obligated to contribute financially through the use of any such amenity;
8. Encourages member nations to make use of the WASBBRHQ for formal negotiations, back channel communications, cultural exchange, and the peaceful resolution of disputes, while reminding delegates that endorsement levels and shouting “Point of Order!” does not reserve a place in the queue for the restrooms; and
9. Affirms that nothing in this resolution shall be interpreted as limiting the ability of the World Assembly under future resolutions to regulate diplomatic privileges, security, administrative procedures, or other matters necessary for the effective operation of the WASBBRHQ.