[Resignation] Tomorrow will be Special, Yesterday was Not

Nevermind that first word - do you want to think about music with me for a moment?

Tomorrow will be Special, Yesterday was Not

The name of this thread is Albrook’s motto - fitting in a way. I’m not very original however - it’s the name of one of my favorite Touhou Project tracks. It’s a cheerful and fast-paced piece - how the composer manages to imagine a lovely day of junk food at a shrine festival with it, compared to the Extra Stage action in Touhou is beyond me xD

I always liked the title. There’s something cheerful about Tomorrow. New life, new opportunities, finally taking the plunge on whatever anxiety’s been holding up. I’ve a few plans for Tomorrow that I’m anxious over - I’m still getting ready to take a few plunges. But Today I’ve decided on one I’m going to tackle. And it’s about Yesterday.

“Tomorrow will be Special, Yesterday was Not”. But we take great lessons from Yesterday! Take it from me - I love being a storyteller. How grand was EPSA and its friends on Operation Boom Beach, our comradery during N-Day - both of these with Yesterday’s unlikeliest of friends. The origins of Yesterday’s memes, of Yesterday’s leaders, and Yesterday’s values are all stories we weave into how we think Today, and what decisions we make for Tomorrow. This isn’t about that. There’s great value in realizing our past into our newer decisions. But my problem with Yesterday is how all-consuming it can become.

Yesterday only Citizens could vote and join the Executive. Yesterday a bunch of powers from enemy regions succeeded at subverting The East Pacific. Yesterday the Conclave made the wrong decision. Yesterday others wrote resignations like mine - one last word on the way out of office. And Yesterday we rejoiced when the door hit their butt on the way out.

You can dedicate yourself to Yesterday. You can make a region so secure that nobody can participate in it. You can legislate every office to a tee such that there is no room for any innovation without express, slow, “Democratic” approval.

You can do all of this and forget Tomorrow - you can easily forget the new player experience, immediately being bombarded with “Hey! Do you want to do more schoolwork after school? Fill out these three job applications and let’s put you to work!” upon joining TEP. And when they dare show experience and interest, Tomorrow’s TEPers are answering to questions on their background like an applicant undergoing a background check.

I already have a job. It’s pretty highly regulated too. But it pays me well. And most importantly I’m not going there intending to unwind after a long day. And if I perform good work, my reward is kudos, giving a presentation and saving the notes for Tomorrow, and improving upon it - not an immediate wish to legislate away my finding, or immediately dedicate my work to an old hero from 2010 - so only their name is remembered in a few years when mine is totally forgotten for the deed.

For Yesterday Aivintis and Sammy restored UTEP, Yesterday Delegate Albrook gave purpose to the Hussars of the East and re-energized TEP’s WA weight - and Today there’s wishes to criticize and disenfranchise UTEP officially and Today yearnings to return to the Delegate alone choosing how TEP votes in the WA.

There’s no room in Tomorrow’s stories for me. Only for Yesterday’s heroes and traditions that I can only ever assimilate into, never transform into something for Tomorrow. Faded into Yesterday is the captivating land of opportunity that brought me to TEP.

Yesterday. In a desire to revolutionize FA in TEP, Libertanny reached out to Eientei Gensokyo - my old home, wondering about our Embassy and why he’s never seen us. Through Libertanny I witnessed TEP - the helpful FA Ministry, the various friends from many regions, the Citizens all around to meme.

While I was starting a new life, essentially, in real life, I decided to join TEP with an objective - I wanted to eventually become TEP’s Delegate. As I integrated into the region I learned, I saw things I knew and did well, and what could be improved.

I was warned early, by a TEP veteran, that TEP was a land of tradition. At the same time under then Delegate Libertanny I realized the great transformations underway. It was a time of collaboration and innovation. I gravitated towards continuing that - after all, Tomorrow will be Special and I’m liking how TEP’s looking and performing today.

Now I am constantly in arguments, reasoning to brick walls on decisions I’m sworn “will only directly cause the next coup”, and constantly fighting against veteran members of our region on what the TEP experience should be, what a Viceroy should do, how a Delegate should act, and what TEP has always been about and why I’m so wrong.

When I’m here, I’m always angry. I’m always upset. And I’ve been anxious about each time I need to return to do my duties lately. For it’s very likely each time I decide to discuss something whatever idea I have is out to destroy tradition in the name of…silly things like having fun in a game.

We’re both wrong. I’m wrong for continuing to fight the traditions that built your regional pride. But I continue to insist the narrow-minded of the traditions of this region hold it back - constantly valuing security and tradition over inclusion and fun, the incorrect way we evaluate interregional friends in a lonely, manipulative, divisive world, and how we cooperate with one another.

Is it right for a Citizen to shit on the work of another? Is it right to say nobody’s ever tried? Everyone else is just a clown right? It’s the newest generation that’s wrong and has no idea how to play this game. Long live Yesterday! This is my honest perception on some interactions I’ve had and seen lately. This is so disrespectful, and something I no longer want to deal with daily.

Thus, I hereby resign my IC offices in The East Pacific - FA Councilor, Viceroy, Arbiter, and Minister of News. I hope these offices are eventually filled by those tru TEP patriots firmly believe better suit the mentality of the region, and all the values it stood for before I even started playing this game.

Many of us have forgotten this is a game. I’m not having fun anymore playing ours. Go beat down someone else.

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The title of that song reminds me of something.

This is something I think about a lot. Once, when two of my friends were having a rough time and, I admit, so was I, I sent this post in our little trio group chat. Even before that, and even afterwards, it’s something that I tried and try to keep in mind. I love that Tomorrow will be special. And maybe I’m reluctant to admit that Yesterday was not. Maybe we all are. Change is good. We all change. It’s natural, it’s human. The only constant in this universe is change. The nature of the world is transient, like a river eroding the shores it runs past. Always running. I think I genuinely forgot this was a game. I was always running. There was always something to do, something to write, something to accomplish. Some way to scream “I was here and I did something. I had a Yesterday. It was special.” It was not. Always running. I look at Yesterday. You’ve described it perfectly. Yesterday is a place of love from one angle and a place of sorrow from another. Tomorrow is a place of love no matter how you look at it. It’s why Tomorrow will be special. Because we choose who we will be. Our future is in our hands. Tomorrow will be special. We must see to it. Ill’haress Aurora Yukihime of Albrook, thank you for everything you did Yesterday. I wish you the best of luck Tomorrow.

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“It’s not fun anymore.” A sentiment that I once echoed. Indeed, Nationstates, above all else, is a game, a game where people can roleplay as politicians with little backlash. And yet, because it’s a game, because there is little stakes, people take it oh so seriously. A cruel paradox, don’t you think?

There are no right answers here. Ultimately, there really isn’t much I can say. I can thank you for your work, ask forgiveness for any slights I may have caused, and yet it won’t matter, because the harm has already been done.

I suppose we’re all just tired. We repeat the same arguments, the same rhetoric, again and again and again. Whenever we push for something new, we find opposition. And opposition is often silent, such that we don’t even know what’s going on anymore.

I’m not sure where this reply will lead to now. It just sucks that it happened this way, that this region pushed one of us so far that we ended up running them away. I was glad when you came here, Aurora, because you seemed like a really fun person to hang with.

So, even though it may or may not matter:

Thank you for everything, Aurora. Thank you for being my Viceroy Designee, for taking the mantle after I left, for putting up with my stupid trial and judicial opinion requests, and for arguing with me. TEP really won’t be the same without you.

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Thank you for your service. If or when you return to activity in the region, it will likely remain here largely unchanged.

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Thank you for your service. Thank you for giving me a chance to organise Eastward Bound and appointing me as your Deputy Minister. It’s been great working with you even if you had a hands-off approach to EB. Again, thank you for everything and I’ll eagerly await your return to TEP politics.