Today marks the end of the election season, and with some surprising results.
That’s right, Reed. Despite many, many official functions by John Bowler, paid for by the government, he still lost by a huge majority.
Right, Sue. I hear he’s still crying right now. But even more surprising is the landslide victory over the Green Party. Our reporter in the field Jonathan is with the Green Party leader now.
Thank you, Reed. I stand here with the Green Party leader, a small spruce tree. Despite a stirring campaign of photosynthesis, it seems that the people thought this particular tree was not capable of running the country. Do you have anything to say, Mister Spruce?
No, not really.
Thank you, anyway. Back to you at the studio.
Thank you, Jonathan. All this, of course, leads up to the victory of the New Party, and giving us a new Bighat, Midhat, and cabinet in the Hatstand.
Ben Beanie, Daniela Balmoral, and some strange people in suits, respectively.
We go now to Ben, who is at the victory celebration at the New Party headquarters. How’re you doing, Ben?
Very well, thank you, Sue. I’ve had to opportunity to talk to some of the party members earlier, and they are all very excited about the new term. They all say that it’s going to be a good year for the economy with lower taxes and less pollution and yadda yadda yadda. And it might be all that, too.
That’d be nice…Er, thank you, Ben.
Thank you, Reed.
Right. Well. In other news, the official stance on the flying castle that passed over our nation a few weeks ago is “It probably wasn’t real, and is somebody else’s problem now, anyway.”
Medical physicians are advising any who’s seen the castle to report to their GPs or a mental health institution immediately.
And that’s today’s news. Goodnight from us here are RNBC.
Goodnight.
Goodnight!
Victor, get away from the camera! For the last time, you’re the janitor, not a newscaster!
Cut the feed, cut the-