Karen met Cyril’s gaze unflinchingly.
“I know what you said in your letter, Cyril, and I hear what you’re saying now. But I hope that you can understand that I’m not sure what I feel anymore. I’m confused. Very confused.” She gave him a rueful grin. “I’m incredibly happy to see you, and yet … at the same time, I feel ready to hit you and hug you and start crying. And I can’t explain where any of those feelings are really coming from.”
Almost as if she was afraid to get any closer to him, Karen walked over to the table and stood with one hand on the back of a chair, still facing him.
“There are an awful lot of things I don’t understand. You never did explain why we left Dovakhan after only a couple of days there. Mind you, I never asked. Nor, I guess, did anyone else. Truth be told, I guess it was your business, not ours.”
“I didn’t know anything about the drugs. That one I find a little easier to understand. You were probably embarrassed.”
“But what I don’t understand is how you can tell me about your feelings, and yet leave me worrying and wondering where and how you are for over four months without a single word. Add all of those up, Cyril, and maybe you can understand why I’m so confused. I know you believe what you’re saying. But … from my perspective, it doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what to think, and I need some time.”
“If you’re willing to, I’d like to start all over. There will be a time for explanations, but right now, I don’t feel like we know each other any more, and I want us to get to know one another again. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to ask for explanations at some point. It just means that right now, I don’t think I’m ready to either process or accept them, and I’d like to be able to.”
“Can you handle that?”