SEE ABOVE FOR SERIOUS STATEMENT. SEE BELOW FOR JOKE CAMPAIGN.
Hey gang. It’s me. Aivintis. Your favorite TEPer. You know, these campaigns are always so official. Let’s just have a talk, you and I.
I’m concerned about the state of NationStates Gameplay. I mean, look around you. Defenders blackmailing feeders. Raiders breaking ties with each other. Independent regions being caught in the middle of this Forever War of ideology, being forced to take a side or suffer natural isolation by taking a reasonable center.
I’m tired of it. I’m tired of TEP being driven from our allies by scandals and invasions and bids for power and influence over us. I’m tired of our allies thinking they can dictate what we can or can’t do. I’m tired of our embassies getting raided by defenders and our allies’ frontiers potentially coming under the threat of raider attacks. I’m tired of the Security Council being weaponized to target raider condemnations. I’m tired of our friends and allies getting targeted by raiders and raider-aligned independents.
The world around us has proven a toxic and hostile place. There is one solution. If I am elected Delegate I will repeal all our treaties, close all our embassies, and delete the Foreign Affairs server. TEP will enter into a state of isolationism. Furthermore, I will take steps to bar cosmopolitans from holding citizenship in the region. People from other regions are shifty and inherently untrustworthy. I will not appoint any Minister or Advisor who was not founded in The East Pacific and a continuous resident of The East Pacific for all their time.
This is not to say I will ban immigration. Nations may move to our paradise from their hellhole regions if they please. But they must endorse the Delegate and all Viziers and they may not be a part of my Executive. And, if I have my way, they may not be part of any part of our government. We need an age of TEP First. These untrustworthy infiltrators cannot conceptualize our glory and our supremacy. Their foreign ideas are poison, be they raider- or defender-leaning.
Our military will cease all operations. We are above the conflicts of petty GPers, and so we will not bother to contribute valuable endorsements to assisting foreign raiders or defenders in their operations, nor will we waste their WA membership holding a region abroad which we do not care about. All TEPers will keep their WA in The East Pacific.
Our news service will be maintained, but it will only be published on TEP forums, in a thread visible only to citizens. I don’t want any foreign subversives spying on our current events. I’ll also lobby to lock all our forums to outside prying. We don’t need nosy neighbors peering over the fence. What we bury in our backyard is OUR BUSINESS, god damn it.
In World Assembly Affairs, the vast majority of TEPers will be happy to hear that I will vote against every GA and SC proposal that isn’t a repeal, and for every repeal. In addition, I will put my WA Minister on the task of repealing EVERY RESOLUTION. Even GA#1. You can do that, yk. I know there’s no repeal button, but there’s a link to do it. GA repeals are easy, I’ll just have my Minister use the NatSov argument. SC repeals are more tricky. I’ll start with the raider ones because those repeals are always gonna pass anyway. Then the defender ones. A little tricky, but I believe we can get it done. The raiders will probably even help us. Then the rest - RP and issues and cards and whatnot. I’ll only leave one commendation, Sammy’s, and only because I WROTE IT. I don’t care about the other TEPer commends. I DIDN’T WRITE THEM.
I’m just a concerned citizen. Of course, the world will make me out to be a villain, like the last Concerned Citizen we had in TEP. But I’m just a simple, humble, loyal citizen. I’m just a little guy. And you all know I’m right, deep in your hearts. Because your hearts are green. And your veins are yellow. You don’t need to see a doctor. That’s how it should be. Because of your healthy green hearts, you all know isolationism is the only way to preserve our region. Let entropy claim the User Created Regions. Let conflict claim the other Feeders and the Sinkers. Let the Warzones fall. We. Will. Still. Be. Here. AND THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED INSIDE OUR PILLOW FORT!