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The East Pacific Newspaper
Volume Two, Issue Two
Introduction
by Todd McCloud
And so it came to pass that another TEP newspaper edition was forged from the minds and keyboards of a bunch of different citizens from that great region of the east. And it was good. Still is good. Well, of course its still good! It has everything you need results for our delegate election, current events in our roleplay scenarios, a country profile, various updates on our embassies and a whole lot of other things to keep you tantalized with the awesome glow of TEP. Its coming into full view now, on the horizon. Let there be light!
But an awesome newspaper edition wouldnt be possible without the awesomeness of The East Pacific and its people. It just cant be done. After all, we just finished up a round of elections for the delegate slot! Now, you didnt hear this from me, but Im sure will do a damn good job, and keep up the good work! (Who is it? Well, let’s read on!!) But TEP is so much more. Weve got an active government that starts with an active Magisterium with active bills being passed actively. Lots of activity there, which is a good thing! Weve got a mindful Conclave that doesnt mind being a little heavy now and then to make sure whatever passes through their fine-teethed combs is congruent with the Concordat. Weve been meaning to get that document made up in 24 karat gold, by the way if one of us ever donate a wad of cash (in short, dont count on it). So, were like a V8, thats the engine and not the vegetable drink. Even our WA system continues to run without a hitch. And newspapers! Beautiful newspapers!
But thats just what it is, TEP the magical place faraway place where the air smells like warm root beer and you can drink your water right out of the gutters if you want to its okay, theyre mostly clean! Ah heck, the waters just fine. We have a saying in TEP: if its brown, drink it down, but if its black, send it back. And it just so happens the waters extra wet today. Man! Better lay off that water for a bit. Anyway, without further ado, here is our update!
Down on Embassy Row…and a mixture of this and that!
by East Malaysia
-We have opened a new embassy with the region of Renaissance and a consulate with the Rouge Dragoons.
-The newspaper business has been sluggish and made our update late. We accept VISA, MasterCard, and American Express in our ad section. Please no checks or cash.
-The Magisterium was caught doing its job!
-Random fact, this is our July-August Issue but issued in September.
-Another random fact, like magic, you are probably arching an eyebrow and wondering if you are really reading this. The answer is no; look below.
-You are actually reading this and that never existed. No, don’t look above here, it is bad for your health!
-In other news, The East Pacific is doing good and in good spirits. Not to mention that it is time to vote for our next delegate. Like lighting we will update you on that like breaking news breaks your TV.
-Peace out 
have a wonderfulistic (sp?) day 
==BREAKING NEWS==
Delegate Election 2010 2.0
by Barbara Manatee
imagine overly dramatic breaking news intro music
Allegheny Elected Delegate!
Dateline September 17, 2010, The East Pacific, Reporter Barb on assignment in TEP election headquarters with the Viceroy.
Q: Viceroy is responsible for all elections of government officials in the region. Howsit going?
A: To be clear, Arbiters in Conclave (our court) are nominated by Delegate and approved by Magisterium (our legislature). The Delegate and Magisters are elected officials. Viziers are - I think, but I could be wrong - approved by some secret voodoo ritual involving a tattoo.
As for howsit going? It’s a lot of attention to detail - which I can do, willingness to be flexible - which I’m trying to learn, and it involves counting - which I am not at all gifted with and never claimed to be. Between just you and me, Kandarin kinda shoved into the Viceroy ring and the Arbiters played along and, well - let’s just say democracy is messy sometimes.
trudges off with mop
Q: Wait, come back. Are you saying this was a bumpy ride this time?
A: First of all, my thanks to Packilvania and Allegheny for running wonderful campaigns. My great thanks to the citizens who voted in record numbers since the enactment of Concordat. And my gratitude to other Arbiters and the Admin team who selflessly and behind the scenes help make elections possible - and legitimate.
As for bumpy, there was a reprimand and a spanking.
Q: It wasn’t always legitimate?
A: I can only speak for me as Viceroy. The first election of Magisterium I supervised was relatively bump-free. Delegate election is always going to be a bit of a sticky wicket. It’s an invitation for troublemakers to do what troublemakers do.
Thanks to the Admin team, a watchful eye (think Sauron) was placed upon our democratic process and at the discretion of Viceroy, two hopefuls were denied nominations. One of those nominees now faces a trial for treason in Conclave.
Q: Are trials exciting?
A: If you like watching paint dry. Well not exactly, the legal interpretations we wrestle with are interesting - at least to me. It’s where wise minds agree to disagree, then walk away without pouting. That’s refreshing.
As for a treason trial, dunno. Never did one yet. It’s certainly a high crime and could get you banned from the region and forum for over 9,000 years. It will be exciting if there’s both a prosecution and a defense. Less so if we try them in absentia.
Q: Whut?
A: Trials in TEP aren’t automatic. A citizen raises an issue of fact or law. If Conclave accepts the case, then parties are invited to participate. They can and do waive a defense to the matter, either by stating so or not showing up. In Absentia means you get tried without showing up.
Not showing up doesn’t mean we just drop it, particularly in the instance of high crime. Conclave’s duty is to the region and its law. If it can be shown that someone tried to disrupt an election or hack the electoral process, I have faith that my fellow Arbiters will make the right decision.
Q: There was a challenge to your vote count. Were you asleep at the switch or just drunk?
A: That wasn’t very nice. I said I was bad at numbers. The fancy craquelure texture of the forum background doesn’t make page breaks as easy to see as I’d like. So I kinda missed a second page of the vote. Well not kinda, I just did. I’m a marine mammal for gosh sakes. You should see what I gotta do to manipulate a computer mouse. But it’s all good because Allegheny won by a respectable margin and it meant that more citizens voted, which was great success.
As for the absentee ballot challenge http://z1.invisionfree.com/forums/The_East_Pacific/index.php?showtopic=8394, I think Packilvania isn’t a sore loser, just a smartypants. The thread is so funny I’m afraid to lock it because it cracks me up. Humor can be healing.
Q: I noticed in election headquarters you have a large console with several screens and a lot of controls and flashing lights. Is that how you monitor elections?
A: Lord no. I had EM install that to keep Todd out of trouble. The controls do nothing but trigger a rerun of Spongebob on that screen there and Todd seems to be soothed by flashing lights. He’s a valued and thoughtful contributor in Conclave as an Arbiter, but he’s twitchy so we give him the “console of doom” for the election and he works his special magic on it. Which means essentially he’s occupied.
It’s all good here at election central.
Minute in Roleplay
By Fyrdowsi
Courtesy of The Fyrdowsi Spy News Network
Water, Water, Everywhere: Water Pressure and Mental Pressure Combines in The New International Sealab
The Spy recently was briefed on a recently built sealab in the waters of the central seas. With collaboration from the Divine Knowledge inventors, he had installed a remote eye sub-system into a combat suit that was destined to be tested by an Order of the Hourglass disciple. The disciple plunged into the high seas in order to discover more about the lab, and The Spy got a really good view of what’s going on in the deep waters, all thanks to the combat suit.
The sea laboratory facility was hosting a number of fascinating visitors, each with their own dark secret. After hitching a ride from a passing submarine, the disciple climbed aboard the lab to meet a plethora of scientists and other figures of various shapes and sizes. Delegates from the nation of Vekaiyu were the first to populate the area, followed by those from Smigsachenweiz, Allegheny, Moafin and other interested nations.
Intrigues and conflicts brewed up naturally as these different elements of the region mixed up. The disciple bore witness to the unusual closeness of the delegates from the non-human humanoids nations who bonded well together, perhaps because of their inhuman shapes. Diving in the deep waters seemed to be the main attraction for those originating from landlocked nations, even though muddied vision, creepy underwater artifacts and dead people in the waters made the underwater area a poor choice for a merry dive.
From his vantage points above secluded pipes and ventilation holes, the disciple silently watched on as trouble brewed even among citizens of the same nation. In hopes of finding out more about each nation, the disciple proceeded to test the combat suit capability by planning to absorb the genetic fingerprints of the foreign citizens. Unfortunately, The Spy forgot to tell him earlier that some of the systems in the suit were still infested by bugs. Thus, misfortunes abound when the disciple tried absorbing the genetic fingerprints of the Vekaiyu delegate, and turned into a little fox kit. All hell broke loose when a delegate from Allegheny suddenly went berserk and bludgeoned his own partner to near death. He also went on a murderous rampage against everyone. His rampage was partially stopped when a mysterious Urthquake suddenly rocked the facility and threw it into darkness.
The Spy’s connection with the disciple was cut when the Urthquake happened, but an uninterrupted stream of communication between the suit and its Divine Knowledge creators was still present, indicating that the intrigues in the waters was not yet over. The Spy advised all his readers who planned to visit the facility, to bring some humanitarian aids and keep a lookout for any Allegheny submarines leaving the area.
Military, Meetings and Drunk Men: Clandestine Gatherings Gets Going in Connections
Upon hearing the gossip about the congregation of several top brasses of several countries in the state of Allegheny, The Spy sent one of his best students on an eavesdropping mission to discover the intentions of the meeting. The clues led the wandering disciple to a sleepy bar in a yawning town called Pittsburgh, where he found the group already ranting on and on about stuffs. Masquerading himself as a plain acne-riddled teenage waiter, the disciple watched in plain view as the guys and girls gossiped about the nations around them.
Who would believe that Vekaiyu was in fact in a state of disorder? The Spy discovered that the foxy queen of Vekaiyu was being held in asylum (a mask word for ‘being ousted from the throne’) for some reasons, despite everything the media want us to believe. The news unwittingly slipped from the foxy lips of a certain vulpine princess. A certain old delegate was also spotted talking about the invasion of the small island nation Dyr Nasad without any shame or favor, although the suggestion seemed to be not in the interest of the young upstart vulpine princess.
It seemed that Allegheny was in full knowledge of the meeting; the President of the nation itself was there all along, drinking and making merry with the group. A certain military woman, obviously attached to Allegheny’s defense, was also there as well, probably as a safety measure. Talks about purchases of Vekaiyu’s coastal areas were mentioned by the Allegheny groups, signifying a possible military strategy, or maybe just new private waterfronts for the President’s pleasure.
Perhaps the most commanding presence in the meeting was a delegate from Mahanoy. He was seen reprimanding the vulpine princess many times. He was also spotted jeering at Allegheny’s military girl with a certain suggestive gesture. The disciple also noticed him fidgeting with unease from time to time as the meeting went on, a trademark signs of a possible agent provocateur for another organization other than his state.
It wasn’t that long before the formal meeting turned into a merry boozing session, where an obviously intoxicated Mahonian delegate openly wooed the Allegheny military girl. The disciple decided to end the espionage session there, handed over the gin to the delegate, and went back to the headquarters.
The Spy deduced from the report that conflicts would be imminent on the central region of the East Pacific due to this private warmongering session, and advised his readers to beef up their security.
Reach for the Sky: Individuality against Assimilation in Ascension
The Spy received news from the sky demons patrolling the sky that a huge wave of Packilvanian Hive fleet was spotted entering the planet’s atmosphere. The situation was too grim and dangerous for his inexperienced disciples to spy upon, so The Spy himself took to the sky and sailed through the air. Under the Cloaking sacred word, of course.
The Spy switched on his listener device and listened to the sounds from the various nations. It seemed that the nation of Free Pacific States was the first to notice the strange occurrence of a Hive ship entering the proximity of the planet. The nation has sent warning signals to other nations allied to itself, but it was not known if the message would reach the others in time.
The nation of Reziel apparently was busy thinking on how to tackle the space-based offensive with terrestrial defenses. It seemed that the nation lacked any space technology at all, though it was too early to say that such thing would be detrimental to their safety.
Diplomatic approach apparently was a primary objective for East Malaysia; this was evident from the flurry of diplomatic messages exchanged between the nation and the Pax recipient. Despite that, it was apparent that violent conflict was inevitable as soldiers started filling up the streets in East Malaysian cities, under the watchful eyes of The Spy.
The Spy tried to lock on to the nation of Allegheny’s sound waves, but he could get only the Allegheny national anthem blaring all across the channels. Military activities was obvious all across the nation though, even from The Spy’s observation post high up in the sky of Allegheny.
It seemed to be awfully quiet in Vekaiyu, though. The Spy could get only peaceful messages and awkward silence through his listener. It was quite strange to see the nation, who was embroiled in sectarian conflicts for years, to have light response to such dangerous issues.
Drakkengard was up and running as usual, paving the way for the Hive fleet. The Spy has received a highly encrypted message leaked from the Drakkengard communication system. It seemed to be an image of a Pax representative. Carried along in the message was a series of speeches promising this and that to the Drakkengard nation.
The Spy narrowly missed being hit by a wave of Kandarinese fleet going upward to the sky. Each individual ships seemed to be going to a specific destination a good distance away from each other. The Spy assumed that the nation of Kandarin might have employed a specific strategy against the incoming Hive fleet. The Spy did not notice anything strange about the formation until the first flick of flame emerged on the Tassalvaltan fields. By then, the nation of Kandarin seemed to be using the scorched earth tactics to hinder the progress of Pax forces.
The atmosphere was getting too crowded for The Spy to continue surveying, so he decided to descend to land for safety reasons. The Spy advised his readers to continue beefing up their security in anticipation of Pax forces’ movement.
Interview with Allegheny:
by Todd McCloud / Allegheny
What are some of the things you want to accomplish during your term?
I am not looking to do anything radical in my term of office, really what I was running for was to keep TEP stable and keep that sense of openess and togetherness that TEP really stands for. (At least to me anyways.) My real goal is to try and arrest the drama that has been coming up lately and to foster an era of communication between prominent members and new members alike. As for the actual gameplay side of things, It’s pretty clear what I want to do and that is to keep the TEP Government a well oiled machine, keep those legislators legislating, voting on WA matters the way the region wants me to and to keep our conclave active to ward off security threats and from what I have seen of the amazing men and women of TEP Government, it shouldn’t be to hard of a task.
What did you do prior to coming to TEP?
My NS history isn’t very long and it’s quite boring actually compared to TEP delegates of old. When I first started the game, maybe about two and half years ago I mainly just lounged around in different regions and thought to myself, “oh here I am playing another boring browser game!” After about a few months of lounging and hanging around in dying regions I cam across a new upstart called Mars Hill, it was great and I got to know a good set of people who I unfortunately have fallen out of contact with. Long story short I was their Governor for a term and after I finished that it all fell apart, mainly because of distrust and a power crazy admin who thought he was helping when he took all the power for himself.
As it died I tried my best to help it back up again but it was no use, and so I started a new nation called South Allegheny after my High School and moved over to TEP, at the time I was really getting into RP and TEP was the place to be for people who didn’t want to RP on the main forums, so I joined got to know the locals, made good friends along the way, worked my way up and here I am doing this interview. lol.
Now, here’s more of a general question, lol: what, in your opinion, makes a great region?
What makes a great region is the people. From what I have seen in the old region I stayed in to the great TEP, was that as long as there are people who truly care about their region’s community then it would stay a fun place to be. Thats what makes a great region to me. Without community you have nothing at all.
Hmm, what are three things you would take with you for a zombie invasion?
Being a native of Pittsburgh I think I am pretty qualified to answer this question. Nothing. My house is already automatically zombie proofed and I have an unlimited supply of perogies and tapped steelers games… I can ride it out.
Alright, that sounds good. Anything else you would like to say?
They told me I could be anything, So I became a NS feeder Delegate.
Lol, that’s true. Alright, thank you for your time!
Nation Profile: Nahrin Union
by Dannistaan
The Republic of Nahris, also known more commonly as the Nahrin Union, is an island nation in the southern eastern part of the East Pacific region. It has it’s origins in the loose collections of tribes, kingdoms and fiefdoms descended from the ancient Nahrinese tribes who emmigrated from what is now modern day Dannistaan to their current location. For several centuries, the Nahrinese fought one another, content that each deserved their own patch on their somewhat insignificant island. This resulted in a patchwork of around 150 kingdoms.
It was around the 17th century that the benefit of a more cohesive nation came to the fore. The few larger tribes started to amalgamate the smaller groups by various means. Some by diplomacy, some by trade, most by sheer brute force. This ultimately lead to a dramatic reducation of of the 150 kingdoms to around 36 in the 18th century. The remaining 36 kingdoms ultimately proved too large, initially, to conquer each other. This resulted in the equilibrium that resulted in all the kingdoms deciding to unite into what became known as the Nahrin Kingdoms.
The Nahrin Kingdoms pooled together their economic as well as diplomatic resources to draw in international trade. It provided opportunities for goods to be exported as well. The liberalisation of trade did not allow for the liberalisation of civil rights though, as even the most light hearted jokes at the Joint Monarchies of Nahris resulted in severe punishment, usually an almost immediate beheading or an unappealable lengthy sentence. This carried on until the early 20th century where the toll of international wars and famine proved too much for the people.
Change was promised by one leader within the Trans-National Imperial Nahrin Army, the combined land armed forces of the Nahrin Kingdoms. The officer, a General Alan Theodore Smyth, lead a popular uprising in March 1939. He first overthrew King Winston XXI in the kingdom that employed him, the Winston Emperium, now forming part of the modern day Winston County, that then spread to the other 35 kingdoms. This resulted in most of the members of the Joint Monarchies being executed for treason and crimes against the state. Only a few surivived, there whereabouts unknown. However shortly after the uprising General Smyth instead of making good his promises of Democracy cracked down harder on the populace than what the Joint Monarchies had done. He banned all opposition to him on June 1940, declaring the establishment of the People’s Free Democratic Republic of Nahris and performed a further rationalisation of the 36 kingdoms to 12 counties. In practice these 12 counties had next to no authority, with General Smyth having the final say in any law. Smyth ruled with an iron grip, enacting bizarre laws which would be repealled the same day, such as banning a type of alcohol that he was inebriated on out of offence only to repeal it and allow the consumption and manufacture of it the next day.
Smyth’s strange behaviour only worsened with age. He was a staunch Catholic and claimed a lot of his actions were dictated by God. Even those that were excessively cruel. This including the forced conversion of those of other faiths and none and the use of torture. His excommunication from the Catholic Church in April 1963 angered him to the point where in a strange and lavish ceremony held a month later he declared himself the true sucessor to the Papacy and founded a new branch of the Catholic Church in that year, even going as far as creating a new calendar system. Despite his absolute rule, he never gave himself an official political position until October 1969, where he declared himself “President for Life” in another lavish ceremony at the old Royal Central Palace in Nahris City, the capital. It would prove to be his undoing as the cost of the ceremony was too much for the hard done populace.
The now President Smyth ultimately would fall to the same sword he used to fell the Joint Monarchies. Factions of the now renamed People’s National Army of Nahris, led by his former right hand man, General Jim Jones, started a violent uprising against Smyth. Though initially unsucessful and resulting in General Jones and his supporters going into hiding, the insurgency lasted long enough to take it’s toll. Smyth ultimately losing support of key sections of the army and ended up being arrested on Sepetember 1974 in the Royal Central Palace. General Jones was declared Acting President and in one of his first acts of power, Jones had Smyth tried for 50 charges of treason, all of which he was found guilty. Smyth was then executed by hanging on May 1975. President Jones then put in all manner of checks and balances that prevented the military ever taking power and put all authority in the civilian Government. Thus founding the modern Republic of Nahris/Nahrin Union.
Currently the sole official language of the Nahrin Union is English although some minority languages may have a special recognised status for local use. Spelling tends towards British English with some American exceptions. Due to the problems caused by President Smyth’s Catholic beliefs, Secularism is strictly enforced and any talk of religion is at best strongly discouraged and at worst resulting in admission to a special Secularism Rehabilitation class. This also results in the strict regulation of religious buildings and iconography. All churches, temples, mosques, synagogues and other religious buildings are of a standard nondescript design and are not allowed to have any reglious designs on them and are limited to showing one sign to show their use.
The current Governmental structure revolves around a Parliamentary Republic with some elements from a Semi-Presidential system. The sole legislative body is the 400 member National Assembly of Nahris, or Nahrin National Assembly. The Executive, the Government of Nahris, consists of 12 members of the National Assembly, 10 ordinary and the Prime Minister, usually the leader of the majority party or coalition, and his/her Depute. The President of the Nahrin Union, though theoretically the highest ranked politician, in practice is more of a figure head and although he/she has some reserve powers these are rarely used. The Judiciary is the Supreme Court of Nahris which decides the constituational nature of any laws passed.
The Nahrin Union itself is divided into 12 counties, two of which have slightly more autonomy than the others. Each county is run by a County Council which enacts the policies decided by the National Assembly. The capital in Nahris City in Nahris County in the middle of the island. Most of the counties have one city designated as a local administrative centre, officially a County Seat. Tourism is not a priority for the Nahrin people, who live in effectively an economic autarky. Trade with other nations is minimal and almost all goods and services are produced domestically. As a result of the lack of tourist facilities and attractions, Nahris is known for being a very utilitarian state with few sites of interest. It also does not help that is isn’t easy to get into the Nahrin Union in the first place. All foreigners undergo extensive background checks and any discrepency is enough to bar entry to the nation. Use of Government minders to tail foreigners of ethnic groups known to cause trouble in the Nahrin Union is not unknown. Leaving the nation as a citizen is more difficult due to schemes such as the infamous Restricted Travel List, which as the name suggests, restricts travel to the nation until it is removed from the list. Most common cause of an RTL sanction is being remotely near the site of a warzone or being diplomatically involved with combatents in a warzone.
Culturally the Nahrin Union is akin to a mix between France and Singapore, though damental right and private hospitals are rare and strictly regulated although higher quality healthcare is available at them where they exist. Education is also state funded and controlled and there is plenty of Social Security benefits. Minority as well as majority rights and civil rights in general are fiercely protected and anything seen as an infraction of those rights is vehemently challenged. Ironically it is impossible to go anywhere without running into one of the many omnipresent CCTV cameras in the nation. Birth control is encouraged as the population nears 70 million and the concern for the environmental damage and impact on resources is high on the Government agenda. This has gone as far as tax benefits to couples willingly taking abortions or keeping families very small. This attitude has been dubbed as “Pro-Abortion” as compared to Pro-Life and Pro-Choice by it’s opponents.
The issues of environmental damage go as far as Nahrin transport policy. Getting a driving license and an automobile to use is best described as problematic. It is expensive and made as deliberately hard as possible. Even after obtained a license and a vehicle freedom of the road is not guaranteed as priority is always given to public transport and goods vehicles and even operators of those have issues with their own licensing regulations. All private cars have satellite tracked speed limiters that do not allow any vehicle, except for emergency service ones, to exceed the speed limit. Attempting to force the vehicle say by revving the engine repeatedly only results in an automatically triggered shutdown and an indication to the police. The police also have the ability to call for a vehicle to be remotely shut down on request, say if a car has been stolen and used in a crime. Ultimately people are encouraged to use the admittedly very efficient and clean public transport system covering an extensive mainline railroad network, extensive metro system and bus links to almost anywhere in the nation.
There is no “Second amendment” and no recognition of the “right to bear arms”. Instead the overwhelming right to public safety overrides almost everything else and is enshrined as a fundamental civil right in the Nahrin constitution. Even if firearms would be needed as part of a job in other nations, the Nahrin Government will not issue any firearms licenses except in extremly exceptional circumstances such as law enforcement and military. Instead civilians make do with alternative tools and advice on situations that require use of a firearm such as pest control. This has resulted in innovative non-firearms pest control measures however.
The Nahrin Unions economy mostly revolves around domestic consumption centering around agriculture and light industry. This has it’s own problems with stagnation and inflation. The Government so far has no plans to introduce more exports to equalise the situation, instead relying on “financial fiats” to peg inflation and growth to artificially imposed levels. As things stand the general public is ambivalent to any foreign trade. It’s foreign policy is also somewhat combative as any foreign nations attempts to suggest change are seen as unwelcome forms of interference and threats to it’s national sovereignty. Whole diplomatic missions are known to be declared as “Persona non Grata” and expelled in days. Few ever get that status reversed, especially if their home nation has already poor relations with the Nahrin Union.
Humor
by Chancellor Shaw
Want an Embassy in TEP?
The East Pacific is looking to get more connected on an NS-worldly spectrum. We currently have 26 active embassies, and would be honored if your region would consider setting up an embassy on our forum. Here’s how it works:
Go to the forum http://z1.invisionfree.com/forums/The_East_Pacific/index.php?showforum=344, and post a message with the topic title being your region’s name. In that topic, please include your region’s name, a link to your forums, approximate number of nations in your region (optional), and a potential ambassador (this may be changed - we understand selecting ambassadors may take time).
We will then review your request shortly. Once the request has been reviewed and passed, a sub-forum will be created for your region’s representation and news. The address will be posted as a reply in this thread, and your ambassador may begin posting immediately!
Also, http://theeastpacific.com/.
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/2506/darthvaderlukeskywalker.jpg
I find your lack of win disturbing. And if you read this in my voice, you must post in this thread!