THE END IS NEAR (Apparently)

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1

Mexregionans on the island of Ferterra (one of the main parishes of the United States of Mexregiona) have begun to speak about the eventual doom of the Urth and its people. That being said, many have panicked as they slowly realized that the whole planet really is screwed over. This uproar eventually spread to other nations in the world, specifically countries close in proximity to the original source. Two of these countries included Prussia and Infinite Loop, which are both considered powers in the northwestern corner of the globe. Now, after finally ending up on major news networks in Mexregiona and surrounding countries, U.S.M.'s (United States of Mexregiona’s) government is getting ready to step into the matter.
Will the government stop the end of the world? Or will they just wait for InfiniteLoop to clean up their mess?

NEXT TIME ON THE END IS NEAR (Apparently):
Whatever I think up of next.

Feel free to add some extra things to this topic, or really, just comment if you want to.

2

The legislature has been called to order as of this day of caek. Mexregionan officials have begun to discuss this possible disaster. Speaker of the Cabin, Gott Miilk, will be speaking of the topic thouroughly tomorrow, as soon as he comes up with a possible answer, or something. You see, he really doesn’t know what to do.

Sorry this was short, I need to get back to my Muppets movie.

3

Well, this sucks.
Mexregiona has gone insane! Full national emergency has been announced, and nearly every citizen in the nation has begun to prepare for the inevitable.
“Help, help us all,” says the Speaker of the Cabin, Gott Miilk. “Our beautiful nation is under assault by the terrible woes of humanity and paranoia! We CANNOT live like this! I’m moving to Brasilistan!” He is then carried away by his official “men in purple” into a small vehicle where he is rushed away to the war-torn country, which, ironically, was just annexed by the United States earlier this morning.
After Miilk was rushed away, a new speaker ran up to the podium. Gyrooyy (gie-roy) McHoovie, the official spokesperson of the Association of Humankind’s Elaborate Homework!! (AHEH!!), began to speak.
“Well, everybody, this is a predica- wait, is that WALL-E? I haven’t seen that in ages!”
TO BE CONTINUED

(this news network gets distracted easily)

4

And so…
After the Cabin members and Gyrooyy McHoovie finished a refreshing movie of love and environmental awareness, they sat back down in their original seats to finish their depressing business.
“As I was saying about 3 hours ago,” McHoovie continued, “this is certainly a predicament. As my good friend Gott was going to say, we CANNOT live like this. That’s why we are going to fix the problem immediately and efficiently. Do you guys have any ideas?”
He stared down at the crowd of old representatives, and found nothing but confusion and WALL-E scenes in their eyes.
“Huh, I thought we would have some more interesting input today. Well, I personally have an idea.” He waited to build up the suspense, “If anything, Mexregiona already has too many nukes. What I’m thinking…” He waited for the crowd to wiggle in their seats again, “is that we use these contraptions to our advantage by creating a nuclear event so fantastic that everybody will forget this whole dilemma.”
ONCE AGAIN, TO BE CONTINUED

I don’t have anything to say here.

5

CAEK SPACE CENTER, INGENLAP ISLAND, MEXREGIONAL ARCHIPELIGO, UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA

“All systems ready to go. Director, yah or naw? Final say.”
“Yah.”
“President, Mister Leader, yah or naw? Final say.”
“Yah.”
“Initiate Control Sequence. Terminate barriers, Level II.”
“Barriers terminated, Desert Stone Fish.”
“Control T5, status.”
“Affirmative. Pending. Transmitting.”
“Received.”
“Ground I, code entry.”
“Listening, Control.”
“Dash one-one-zero USM.”
“Protocol Number 8.”
“Copy that, Ground I.”
Control fastened his knuckled fist around the iron handle on his personal dashboard, preparing to make history.
“Ground I, II, III. Startup inbound.”
“Affirmative. Input given… Permission granted.”
Control pushed the lever forward.

6

The giant contraption of rocket thrusters and ion boosters shot up through the atmosphere at a frightening speed. After 5 stages and a lot of coffee, the behemoth was out of the Urth’s field of gravity, heading straight toward its destination. The monster had been arguably the biggest and most important project in the history of the United States of Mexregiona; at least for the people that knew about it. Although the details of the mission were highly classified and rarely spoke of, the public had begun to make inferences about the goal of the gaping hole in the national budget.
“I think,” Dinky D. Doozer began, “that the government is just doing one of those weird projects to spy on InfiniteLoop or Sydonia again. After all, they do steal from our caek stash from time to time…”
“I think,” a local Flor-Mart worker says, “that the president is just trying to get some high-quality photos of his glorious face implanted on the moon. After all, he does like quite…handsome… on the face of the space rock.” She then falls on to the roach-infested floor of Flor-Mart as she falls into a dreamy sleep.
“I KNOW,” snarls Bigtopian farmer Richy Soils, “that the government is doing something sinister! The only reason they’re not telling us anything about is, of course, is because they don’t want us to know! But I know, oh, I know. There going to use nu-!!” The man is shut up by the endless swarm of NOTER (National Organization (of) Targeting Explosive Rockets) officials that yank him away to a large sea vessel to be carried off to the Island of Platelet, where he will spend many years in a high-security prison for leaking government information (and treason, if they can fit that in somewhere, too).

Anyway, the rocket is traveling through space RIGHT NOW. Where will it end up? YOU DECIDE!!
Well, if your a member. If not, I highly recommend joining the forums (hint hint).

7

The Imperial Palace - Emergency Action Room
Eastrovia, East Malaysia

“What are these people thinking launching anything? This did not get approval from the EPTO or AWSA,” Senior Admiral Mary-Jo Juneburg said to the Empress after a Yellow Alert was called by Central Defense Command.

Glendale was looking over the reports as her senior military officers were tracking the trajectory, trying to extrapolate an exact destination, and speaking about the situation. “Perhaps,” she said to get everyone attention as she had been listening and looking through intelligence reports, “as the intel reports indicate apocalyptic leaning paranoid environmentalist… so maybe they were not aware they needed to seek permission from the international community or us to launch anything…” she paused for several seconds before speaking again. “Go to Red Alert, we will file an official complaint and if this heads towards us or any ally – shoot it down immediately.”

— Begin quote from ____

On behalf of her majesty of the Sovereign Empire of East Malaysia,

We protest the non-approved launch of a rocket by the East Pacific Treaty Organization or the Aeronautics, Space and Weather Administration (ASWA) of East Malaysia. At the time of this communique her majesty has ordered this be shot down if it endangers East Malaysian territory or of our allies; we have deployed our navy in a defensive stance at all navy bases locally and abroad.

We also request information of this launch: the intended purpose, environmental considerations and et cetera to be submitted to the ASWA for review in conjunction with the EPTO and international community.

Signed,

Brendon Briggs

DIRECTOR OF DIPLOMACY & FOREIGN AFFAIRS

— End quote

[hr]

OOC: Will it land? Is it a satellite? Shot down?

:slight_smile:

8

[hr]MESSAGE TO THE GENERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE NATION OF EAST MALAYSIA[hr]Location of Transmission: Governmental Gully, Insulmin Island, Mexregional Archipeligo, UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA[hr]If you are reading this, then you are probably very… uhh. Let’s say… on edge. Now this is going to sound very bad, and very suspicious, but, nations all around the Urth (including the country this message is wired to) will have to trust the UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA in these dark times. Our country is, as you may have heard, is under siege by an endless mass of paranoia; a country like ours cannot function without trust between the people of the government and the people of the government’s “jurisdiction”. This act of galactic transportation will, I believe, aid in the dissipation of this wall of uncertainty. Now here’s the really bad part; the Mexregionan government nor NOTER (National Organization (of) Targeting Explosive Rockets) can’t legally give out exact information on this topic. In short, we cannot exactly tell you what the object is.
DO NOT PANIC, however, we can (legally) guarantee that, assuming it isn’t shot down or otherwise interfered with, the rocket is VERY LITTLE TO NO DANGER to the people of the Urth; including East Malaysians. To make this very clear, IF YOU SHOOT THIS ROCKET DOWN, EVERYBODY (and that means everybody) WILL SUFFER SEVERE CONSEQUENCES.[hr]We, the people of the government, are willingly admitting to our mistakes, however. We are admitting the fact that (under executive order) we forced NOTER to drive this thing into space without thoroughly examining international law in the subject of outer space. Not only was this an ignorant thing to do, but also a very dangerous one. In fact, if the United States had assumed a different tactic in dealing with its problems, we would probably not be writing this passage to you as of now.
Further apologizes to:
NOTER, EPTO, AWSA, East Malaysian Government, East Malaysian people, the international community, and, generally, the people of the Urth.[hr]If any information about the international policies of the region are worth mentioning, do so as soon as possible so NOTER and other agencies of THE UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA can divert all their energy to meeting these standards; Mexregiona can be a cruel country, but we do respect the ways of the planet.[hr]UNDER THE AUTHORIZATION OF THE PRESIDENT, LEADER, SPOKESPERSON, AND MASCOT OF THE UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA (“Mister Leader”) AND THE DIRECTOR OF NOTER AND THE MEXREGIONAL AGENCY OF SPACIAL TECHNOLOGY AND ROCKETS (MASTeR), Carkley Bolten, THIS SPECIFIC DOCUMENT HAS BEEN WRITTEN FOR THE SECURITY OF MEXREGIONA, URTH, AND THEIR PEOPLES.[hr]As of this day of caek,
let it be known,
that the UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA is attempting to peacefully reach a compromise with not only the nation of East Malaysia, but of the entire Urth itself.[hr]END OF TRANSMISSION

9

To: The Leader of the United States of Mexregiona

We are concerned about this ‘rocket’ you have launched into outer space. We wish to know what your intentions are for doing this. We the Grand Duke of Dragonia, Jeymian Drachenberg III, will stand with our Diplomatic ally the Sovereign Empire & Associated States of East Malaysia, upon this issue.

From:

Grand Duchy of Dragonia

10

The Imperial Palace - Emergency Action Room
Eastrovia, East Malaysia

Glendale reviewed the reply message that Brendon had just emailed over to her and the rest of the top officials with her. “I’m not sure if I should be concerned or interested. What’s the trajectory?”

ASWA Director Devereux Gardener quickly set his tablet to cast the information to everyone else and on the 90" screen on the wall of the Emergency Action Room and approached it to give his presentation of the information. “As you can see, currently the rocket is essentially in what I would call orbital decay around Urth. It is stable but it will eventually be pulled back down by gravity but it is still possible it could fall out of orbit but we honestly will not know which until it happens which thankfully gives us time.”

“Thank you Mr. Devereux. That will be all for now,” Glendale said then directed her attention to Agent Pink. “A few things: All available intel, re-position the satellites and get me a close up images of that rocket.” Agent Pink nodded to acknowledge the Empress’ requests. “In the meantime I will have Director Briggs sent a reply.”

— Begin quote from ____

On behalf of her majesty of the Sovereign Empire of East Malaysia,

We implore you to release any information that you can about the nature of the “severe consequences,” that would be connected with this rocket as it is clear at this juncture this rocket could be dangerous to nations of The East Pacific. East Malaysia would dislike to see any economic sanctions be applied for this action.

On another topic of your reply you mentioned a mental health epidemic currently going on in your nation. If you would like any assistance with this please send all available medical information that can be reviewed and we will evaluate if we can dispatch any humanitarian aid with our partner organizations.

Signed,

Brendon Briggs

DIRECTOR OF DIPLOMACY & FOREIGN AFFAIRS

— End quote

11

DuVall, Veridian Empire

Karl McMahon sat there at the situation room with a hand massaging the forehead. At the table were several other significant members of the government and military. General Ripper rose up and exclaimed, “Goddammit, this is proof why we shouldn’t let these communists into our country! Look at what happened to the people of Mexregiona! Those dirty reds have added hallucinogenics into the drinking water, causing mass hysteria! This is why we should have rainwater collection points on every household as to prevent this madness! We should also invade those dirty Laiatans! They are behind it!”

Karl’s hand rose up, the president giving a signal to stop. He spoke with calmness, “General Ripper, thank you for your valuable input. As to the source of this mass hysteria, we will probably never know. It will take time. The real issue should be the rocket that is flying around up there. Admiral Gervis?”

“Yes Mr. President?” asked the admiral.

“We do have enough missiles at our disposal to wipe out the rocket, no?”

“Yes Mr. Presidet,” stated Gervis, “However, our main concern is what is onboard the damned thing.”

“Agreed,” said the president, “So what, we just let it fly around?”

“Pretty much Mr. President, for all we know, it could just be a manned spaceflight mission. We did launch a unmanned rocket for test purposes less than a week ago. Nowadays everyone has their panties in a wad whenever a stray leaf flies on their sidewalk. I say we just leave it be.”

12

[hr]After piles and piles of faxes and hate mail, the Mexregional Postal Service (MPS) couldn’t take it anymore. The service shut down all forms of shipping and mailing, along with managing to take down e-mail, too.

After days and days of blabbering to the World Assembly about the rocket and its use, both the Cabin of Representatives and the Guild of Mexregiona went on full strike, leaving the Island of Insulmin barren, useless, and free of traffic.

After many close calls with the lives of military officers and their personnel, believe it or not, Mexregiona has gone into Operation Homeland, forcing all Mexregionan troops to retreat to the Island of Louisianaia to ensure the savior of the island if all others have perished.

After much delirium, the higher class has been armed with firearms and body armor to keep safe in the now troubled streets.

After hours and hours of deep thinking, Mister Leader, the president of the United States of Mexregiona, has finally decided to take matters into his own hands.[hr]LOCATION: RECTANGLE OFFICE, BEIGE HOUSE, GOVERNMENTAL GULLY, INSULMIN ISLAND, MEXREGIONAL ARCHIPELAGO, UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA[hr]SITUATION: NATIONAL DISTRESS[hr]The president of the UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA sits down roughly into his chair, fully aware that he is being watched by nearly everybody in the world, assuming they haven’t already been lost to insanity.
“My fellow Mexregionans, friends, comrades. I have come before you today to officially announce the fall of Mexregiona, as the Mexregional Archipeligo has been grasped by foreign powers, well, along with… Let me bring out the list…”
The man pulls out of notice that reads, in scribbled handwriting:
FALLEN: South Brasilistan, the Arch Archipelago, the Century Islands, the Bloody Islands (excluding Platelet), Newsheanland, the Southern Shore, and other minor archipelagos, including, but not limited to, the Western Aequatorial Islands, and the Barren Islands.
YET TO OFFICIALLY FALL: Ferterra, Insulmin, Insulmag, Ingenlap, Island of Platelet.
YET TO FALL: Louisianaia
“For those of you who don’t know your Mexregional geography, that is very bad for our country. That is why, after many, many coffees and many, many slices of Dropdatderp Caek, I, the president, leader, spokesperson, and mascot of the United States of Mexregiona will illegally give information about the rocket for the safety of Mexregiona, or what is left of it.”[hr]The leader then stacks his papers onto his now broken and stained desk to continue. Reading from the articles, he sighs. [hr]Name: Hegemon Rocket
Thrust: Too much.
Number of Thrusters before orbit: 16; forms a hexadecagon around the main capsule.
Current Number of Thrusters: 8; 4 used to get out of the initial atmosphere; 4 to obtain a safe orbit.
Owned by: NOTER, Government of Mexregiona
Launched off of: Launch Pad 9; Caek Space Center, Mexregiona[hr]The president let out a deep, shaky breath. He knew this would mean impeachment. Or worse.[hr]“Contents: A nuke bigger than Tsar Bomba; big enough to destroy the moon…In fact, it’s heading there right now.”[hr]Once the words fall out of his mouth, the back wall of the Rectangle Office is rammed down. The leader is carried away by men in military uniforms, out of his house, out of his country, and into his grave.[hr]All that is left of Mexregiona, the once great, powerful, and demanding Mexregiona, is one island. With no leader and no guide, the Mexregionan government falls, leaving all of its people wandering the streets, waiting for aid. However, they may never get it. The only thing they can hope for is the rocket.[hr]

13

FORMAL ADDRESS FROM THE NEW GOVERNMENT OF MEXREGIONA[hr]In short, we have reclaimed Mexregiona. After much negotiating, the people of the country now have their land and their representatives back, well, except for the ones that kicked the bucket. It is not yet known exactly how many Mexregionans have perished in this event, but the newly elected President of Population Control and Dispersal, Peter Lugwaist, has estmated roughly 5,000. We still have much cleaning up to do, but it isn’t actually as bad as it seemed it was; at least in Dropdatderp.
We also want to tell you that NOTER, MASTeR, and all the other space agencies in Mexregiona have reclaimed their posts, yet, sadly, none of the agencies can stop the Hegemon Rocket from hitting the space rock. We’re sorry, but it is now out of our control.[hr]From the newly elected leader of the UNITED STATES OF MEXREGIONA, “Mister Leader II”.[hr]END OF TRANSMISSION[hr]-THE PLOT THICKENS-

14

“Ahem. Uhh, Mister Leader? You have a visitor.”
“Bring 'em in, Howard.”
“As you wish.”
The door opened smoothly, having been replaced and polished. Two great, tall men strode in through the opening, both taking in the newly refurnished Rectangle Office for the second time that day.
“Lugwaist, how nice of you to visit. Oh, and I see you brought Bolten, too. Now, what brings you two-”
“There’s no time to waste, Mister, I’m afraid,” Lugwaist bellowed, “not enough time for small talk. Bolten would like to speak with you post haste, if that’s okay.”
“Well? I’m listening.”
“Sir, privately, if you don’t mind.”
“As long as I don’t end up like my predecessor.” The leader motioned his bodyguards out of the room, Lugwaist and Howard following closely behind.
Once the door closed, Bolten spoke, “Uhh, we found something, sir.”
“Like what?”
“Well, you know how we officially said in our message to all foreign governments in the world how, well, we had no control over the rocket?”
“Yes, in fact, I do remember that, considering that was only a few hours ago.”
“Then, uh, I think we made a mistake.”
“Are you kidding me!?”
“Sorry Sir,” Bolten said, shuffling his feet around.
After a few moments, the leader said, “Are you going to tell me what we did wrong or what?”
“Actually, we lied to them.”
The leader rubbed his eyes.
“You’re telling me that we DO have control of the rocket?”
“Yes, if you can believe it. After the primary room of Mission Control was sabotaged, we thought it was over. But after a while, some of the operators that were displaced came back, and got the thing under control again,” Bolten finished.
“So you came all the way from Ingenlap just to tell me that? Why didn’t you just tell NOTER or MASTeR or somebody to change the course of the rocket?”
“Well, you see, we slowed the thing down to a comfortable speed, enough not hit the moon anytime soon. However, I came to you to tell you that, at the place it is now, we could use it for certain COMMERCIAL uses.”
“So, what are you implying?”
“We sell the thing to the highest bidder, of course.”

So, now the rocket is up for grabs! Who will get it, and how will they use it? Find out in the next episode of THE END IS NEAR (Apparently)!
BTW, this is your chance to change the course of history as we know it!

15

Imperial Palace - Emergency Action Room
Eastrovia, East Malaysia

Agent Pink was going over her presentation of recently collected intelligence, “As you can see in this video that I was able to acquire that after the announcement that we had a voice recording of that he was taken away. My sources can confirm he has been fully disposed of but that’s as far as I can get with my sources at this time. I also have our intel partners requesting any information that we can share but I will stonewall them for a little bit longer.”

Nodding Glendale spoke up, “I agree, give it a few more hours, share some information. It’s been a couple days since this announcement that they have no control over this rocket – no nuclear weapon, what can you tell me and what are the options?”

ASWA Director Gardener spoke up first, “to put it simply based on satellite data the decaying orbit started towards the moon, stabilized, and slowed down.”

“Slowed down? Does anyone else know?” Senior Admiral Juneburg asked.

“Yes…” Director Gardener paused to cast the information to everyone else, “as you can this this is the original data and then you can see the updated calculations. I only used our satellites and no nation knows our exact capabilities but they will likely assume we know. Like Agent Pink I have also received request from our space station project partners for data but so far I have only released publicly available data but I’m still getting the requests”

“I think we are missing a part of this puzzle,” Glendale said as she rubbed her head, “Mr. Devereux keep monitoring, don’t release anything, they will get the more specific data from Agent Pink. We can’t let that nuke hit the moon or come back here. If they have control over it then the only thing we can do is collect data, intelligence and if we need to we can work on a cyber-attack and then use a satellite to push it off course. Unless something changes we will meet back here tomorrow. Thank you.”

16

[hr]THE DROPDATDERP DETAILED - [font=Times New Roman]A subsidiary of the Mexregiona Malarkey - 7/13/2016[hr]NEWS FLASH - AN ANNOUNCEMENT IN GOVERNMENTAL GULLY WAS MADE TODAY REGARDING THE HEGEMON ROCKET -
“The rocket,” Carkley Bolten said through his wireless microphone, “is up for sale as of now; for 2 trillion (2,000,000,000,000) KinkiMonsuus (Mexregionan Currency).” The crowd began to murmur, many of the reporters in the front of the crowd yelling to ask their questions over the others. “Now, now. This is by no means a national issue. Kind of. Think of this as a boost to the economy, people. Imagine how well the country would do with an extra bag of buckaroos. We could use it to feed the hungry, or, or making your Flor-Mart experience so much better. Or, go my way with it; use it to fund NOTER and MASTeR. That’s always a patriotic thing to do, right? Anyway, as I was saying, there is no reason to panic. We will make sure it goes into the right hands, as we have no use for it anymore.”
After he left the stage, Bolten would answer no questions for the public.[hr]