The News

Voice cracks as if on old radio

It is now midday and you’re listening to the news*. Today’s weather is as follows:

There’s a warm front coming in from the East. However, it looks as if it’s moving north, so expect some showers in the North tonight, but don’t worry about any rainstorms. In the South, the warm front has moved on into The Barren Lands**. The East Coast is gonna be warm***, with normal trade winds coming in from the ocean to keep temperatures from soaring into the Level 5 range****. Here’s the five-day temperature forecast for the country…

      Day 1        Day 2       Day 3        Day 4        Day 5

North: 4.86 4.76 4.80 4.85 4.92
---- 4.43 4.50 4.61 4.65

South: 4.88 4.90 4.92 4.95 5.00
4.5 4.4 4.33 4.65 4.99

East-----

-----WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM FOR A SPECIAL REPORT-----

Our Great Leader, The Nonappelatarian Jon Morian, has recently been released from the hospital after the nomads’^ attack last week. He is in decent condition and will continue to rule our country. And now we go to Mark for the execution of the pigs who shot Our Leader in the back…

OOC: How’s this for a first broadcast?

*Nameless ness is an entirely isolationist society; as such, citizens believe there is only Nameless ness and the Barren Lands in the world.

**The Barren Lands- Anti-archy. Though it is actually an anarchic state, the people have been led to believe it is their mortal enemy. Said to be an ashen land of uncultured cannibals.

***Nameless ness is very warm year-round. It is located on a warm current that comes from the East.

****The 7-point temperature scale used has no actual scientific bearing, but is more of a guess. Here is the approximate translations to degrees Fahrenheit.

7- above
6- 200-250
5- 100-200
4- 60-100
3- 30-60
2- 0-30
1- below 0

^nomads- derogatory name for the people of Anti-Archy. And all immigrants, since they are believed to be one and the same. They are often framed for crimes, but are sometimes shipped off.

OOC: Not bad at all, actually. Keep trying different formats, until you find something you like. I used to post on the forum, but now I do a blogger site and occasional podcast. Other people do websites through blogger or tripod or even just forum posts. My advice would be to “frame” your news post with the weather as a short blurb at the beginning and then some other thing at the end if that’s what you want to do. Rock on.

— Begin quote from ____

OOC: Not bad at all, actually. Keep trying different formats, until you find something you like. I used to post on the forum, but now I do a blogger site and occasional podcast. Other people do websites through blogger or tripod or even just forum posts. My advice would be to “frame” your news post with the weather as a short blurb at the beginning and then some other thing at the end if that’s what you want to do. Rock on.

— End quote

OOC: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Coocoostan. :slight_smile:

I’ve planned a good format. My main problem is more… societal, since Nameless ness is entirely populist and isolationist, so sports and stuff might be hard.

And I gotta work on the 7-point weather system IC.

Voice on old radio

NOW IT’S TIME FOR THE MIDDAY NEWS!

Today is Day 66 of the seventh year of the 80th nonappelate. The weather out there is looking wonderful. And before we get to the forecast, us down here at the news must report that the broadcast of Day 59 was indeed tampered with, so we apologize. The good news is that we successfully bombed the center of operations and our news will now be accurate. Now on to the forecast.

There is a warm front coming from the south, bringing with it heavy downpours, so farmers, and I know there are a lot of you out there, the Nonappelatariate* reminds you to ensure that your drainage canals are all dug as deep into the ground as possible, at least being the height of your shovels to ensure that your crops don’t get overwatered. There is a small chance of flooding in the Nominari Valley* as well as near the Northern Namune [River]*, and we will be reporting later on whether to pull out the sandbags again this rainy season.

Over the next five days, don’t expect much change, as a warm front following the current one will come in near sunset day 70 as the last leaves.

The five-day forecast is as follows:

NORTH
Day-----66.0-----67.0-----68.0-----69.0-----70.0-----71.0
High----===-----2.44-----2.50-----2.60-----2.40-----2.60
Low-----1.87-----1.88-----1.94-----1.70-----1.75-----1.90

SOUTH
Day-----66.0-----67.0-----68.0-----69.0-----70.0-----71.0
High----===-----2.46-----2.52-----2.62-----2.42-----2.62
Low-----1.89-----1.89-----1.96-----1.72-----1.77-----1.92

EAST
Day-----66.0-----67.0-----68.0-----69.0-----70.0-----71.0
High----===-----2.40-----2.49-----2.63-----2.32-----2.52
Low-----1.85-----1.85-----1.92-----1.73-----1.73-----1.86

And now on to The War…

The Battle of [foreign language] was finally won by Nameless forces at sunrise, putting a dent in the savage defenses and leading our forces one step closer to the mainland of the Savages. Also, the POW camp has been liberated, freeing 1,000 of our fine men.

We’ll be back in 6 Darianams* with an update on the situation in Darknur. Also, find out why a savage tampering in soap could be costing you a bundle!

And now, here is Len Shenzar with the National Anthem…


OOC: TEMPERATURE

The temperature scale, now refined, is as follows:

7: 252 (F)- 216
6: 215.99 - 180
5: 179.99 - 144
---------------- “Livable Maximum”
4: 139.99 - 108
3: 107.99 - 72.
2: 71.990 - 36.
1: 35.990 - 0
0: -0.001 - -36
---------------- “Livable Minimum”

And it continues on in both directions with a 36 degree F increase per whole number.

CALENDAR:

A solar calendar with each day numbered and nonappelates being centuries since first farming came to Nameless ness in 6000 BC (so now is 8007 in their calendar, or the seventh year of the 80th nonappelate).

TERMS:

Nonappelatariate- Government, mostly led by The Nonappelatarian and advisors

Nominari Valley- a lush valley in Southern Nameless ness

Northern Namune [River]- a small river running near the Nominari

6 Darianams- a half hour; one Darianam is 5 minutes

automated message

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TODAY IS TAX DAY. BE SURE TO TURN IN YOUR TAXES AND CHECK IN TOMORROW FOR THE NEWS AND ALL OUR OTHER PROGRAMMING! 10 second pause

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continues to repeat

Breaking News!

The unknown object that streaked the skies of Southwestern Nameless ness has been identified as a man-made object after a large chunk of crafted metal was found by the Nonappelatariate. Initial analyses of the object do not point toward a Savage weapon. The Nonappelatarian has said that the analysis committee should finish final analysis by week’s end at which time there will be an official announcement about this unidentified contraption.