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BE IT ENACTED by the Magisterium of the East Pacific:
SECTION I. SHORT TITLE
This act shall be known and cited as the “The Cowbell Act”
SECTION II. FINDINGS.
The Magisterium finds that –
(1) The music of The East Pacific is devoid of an instrument whose glory knows no other
(2) This instrument is clearly the world-renowned cowbell
(3) This issue must be fixed, clearly, by adding more cowbell.
SECTION III. DEFINITIONS.
For the purposes of this act –
(1) The percussion instrument, cowbell, is defined as a bell similar to the one worn by cows, typically without a clapper and struck with a stick
SECTION IV. PROVISIONS.
(a) Upon the enactment of The Cowbell Act, all current public officials will have 21 days to get more cowbell.
(b) All citizens will have 14 days to comply with these provisions before beginning their term as a public official; appointed, elected, or other.
(c) Public officials must check every 60 days if they have sufficient amounts of cowbell.
(f) If sufficient cowbell is not present, the public official is to add more cowbell.
SECTION V. FAILURE TO ADD COWBELL.
(a) The Eastern Pacific Police Service (EPPS), Cowbell Division, is charged with monitoring compliance with the Cowbell Act.
(b) If a public official appears to be out of compliance, the EPPS is to publicly report this deficiency of cowbell in a thread, preferably with the use of many .gifs.
(c) Continued failure to achieve higher levels of cowbell will result in the public official’s name being listed in a public registry of officials who lack cowbell.
SECTION VI. ENACTMENT.
This non-binding resolution shall be enacted upon its signature by the Delegate, except if the Magisterium votes to override a veto of this bill by the Delegate.
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