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PINGJING PRIMROSES TO APPEAL OVER INVALID MATCH.
Pingjing Primroses will appeal the decision made against them that saw their match against Sing Ren Tigers be declared invalid due to techicalities.
Despite thrashing the Tigers by a 47-0 scoreline, the Rugby Sevens National Board has declared the match invalid and awarded the Tigers the points instead because Primrose forward Tang Bóluó had traces of performance enchancing drugs in his urine.
The application for appeal has been granted and a hearing will be held on Tuesday.
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FRESH WAVE OF ANTI-BAI LUNGESE RIOTS SHOCK NEW MAOMING RESIDENTS.
A group of 1,000 Kashgars unexpectedly ran amok in a small town in the mainland by randomly attacking residents and smashing up shops.
New Maoming, located some 10 miles from Uzbari, was the target of wanton violence by the Kashgar diaspora, who repeatedly chanted anti-Bai Lungese slogans. Business owners and residents reportedly fought back causing some rioters to flee.
New Maoming police have confirmed that over 500 people have been arrested for their role in the riots.
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APRIL FOOLS PRANKSTER ARRESTED FOR PRACTICAL JOKE.
An internet practical joker has been arrested in the city of Cui for pulling of a prank there.
Yang Yàsè AKA Crusher Yang pranked dozens of individuals by posing as a member of the Conservative party who is campaign to remove every by-laws passed by the Cui city council under Mayor Ling Da Shui’s watch. The livestream shows Yang issuing flyers calling for the repeal of all by-laws
Police in the city did not see the funny side of Yang’s pranks and immediately arrested the 30 year old for breach of the peace and littering.
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PRESIDENT GONG SIGNS BAN ON LIVE SIZE CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF PAST AND PRESIDENT LEADERS OF A BAI LUNG.
President Gong Chūrù has signed into a law that forbids any company or individuals from printing life-sized cardboard cuts of past and present presidents of Bai Lung, including himself.
The Life-Size Cardboard Regulations Act forbid the likeness of all Bai Lungese Presidents including that of the brutal Stalinist ruler Chen Zheng Sun. Those who print them or even possess a life-sized cardboard cut out will be jailed for 8 years and/or fined BL$100,000.
In signing the legislation, President Gong has expressed concerns that ordinary people will be confused by realistic life-sized printouts of himself.
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REPEAL REGULATING ELECTRONIC WASTE IS PASSED.
The World Assembly will repeal the Regulating Electronic Waste after nations voted in favour of it.
The resolution is voted through by 12,084 votes to 1,628.
President Gong Chūrù has welcomed the repeal, calling the regulations a burden to Bai Lungese business.
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QINGMING FESTIVAL IN NEW XINJIANG MARRED BY RIOTS.
Kashgar extremisits and New Xinjiang residents clashed in violent riots during the Qingming festival.
The festival, which is held on 4th April, honours the ancestors of Bai Lungese people, is vocifierously protested by the Kashgar diaspora every year who see the day as an encroachment of their culture. Shops and cars are the target of these riots in addition to New Xinjiang residents.
New Xinjiang police has spent 2 hours quelling the riots and arrested 1,000 people. all of whom are Kashgars.
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GENERAL CHANG RECYCLING PLANT ATTACKED BY KASHGAR EXTREMISTS.
The General Chang Recycling Plant has been attacked by Kashgar extremists.
The rioters threw molotov cocktails and bricks at the plant, located some 10 miles north of New Xinjiang, in an attempt to disrupt the daily lives of the residents. Over 100 people were arrested.
The attacks come 48 hours after rioters went to New Xinjiang during the Qingming Festival.
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MAN BECOMES FIRST PERSON TO BE CHARGED WITH REPRODUCING LIFE SIZED CARDBOARD CUT-OUT OF PRESIDENT GONG.
A man has been charged with publicly displayed a life sized cardboard cut out of President Gong Chūrù in Pingjing.
Liang Kāfēi, a freelance carpenter from Pingjing, assembled the cardboard with the likeness of the President’s face on it. He displayed the life-size cardboard cutout at the Pingjing Central Town Hall. Police arrested him immediately upon seeing the offensive cut-out.
Mr Liang is believed to be the first person to be charged under the Life-Size Cardboard Regulations Act.
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HORSE DISQUALIFIED AT GRAND VALLEY RACECOURSE.
A racehorse has been disqualified at the Grand Valley Racecourse in Pingjing after it was found that performance enchancing drugs were found in his urine sample.
To Tame A Conductor was a 5/1 favourite and ultimately won the 1200 race on 6th April. However, it was discovered through a urine sample, that the 5 year old stallion had taken performance enchancing drugs to help it win the race.
The horse’s owner An Pāndé has been suspended by the Horse Racing Association on suspicion of feeding his horses performance enchancing drugs.
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BOOKIES TO REFUND PUNTERS WHO BETTED ON DISQUALIFIED HORSE.
A top bookie has promised to refund punters who placed a bet on a horse who was ultimately disqualified after the race concluded.
Deep Bet has announced that over BL$2 million of bets were made on To Tame A Conductor, a 5/1 favourite. The horse won the initial race but was disqualified after performance enchancing drugs were found in the horse’s urine sample. They announced that refunds will be handed back to those who made bets.
Tiger Revolution, the runner-up, was declared the winner by default.
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ANOTHER 100 ARRESTED FOR POSSESSION OF LIFE-SIZED REPRODUCTION OF PRESIDENT GONG.
At least 100 individuals have been arrested for publicly displaying or possessing life sized printouts of President Gong Chūrù in a period of a week.
Most of the arrested are based in the capital Pingjing and are believed to have links with leftist group. The Life-Size Cardboard Regulations Act regulates any reproduction of past and president leaders under normal circumstances.
President Gong himself has warned individuals not to be emboldened by the 100 people arrested and make life size cardboard cut out of himself.
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FORMER PRESIDENT TO RELEASE MEMOIRS ON 1ST DECEMBER.
Former President of Bai Lung Lin Zhang is set to release a book detailing her presidency.
Her book, a memoir, will focus on her five year reign as president from 2017 to 2022.
Lin’s yet to be named memoir has been the subject of controversy as some claimed that she employed a ghost writer to writer her memoirs, a claim she vehemently denies.
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PAINT THINNER JUNKIE ARRESTED IN PINGJING.
A man has been arrested in the Pingjing Metro for opening a tin of paint thinner and sniffing it in public.
Wang Yóuqī opened up the thinner, which is known for being flammable and having a strong pungent smell, and proceeded to sniff it in front of several commuters who looked on with horror.
Wang, who is homeless, was arrested at Bōlādé Station and offered no resistance.
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“PEOPLE ARE GROWN UP”, ANTI-DISCRIMINATION EMPLOYMENT IS PASSED AS MLAS CONDEMN ITS PASSAGE.
Conservative MLAs have strongly condemned the World Assembly for passing the Preventing Discrimination Employment resolution, calling it an overreach of government powers.
The resolution was passed by 10,184 votes to 4,335 with Bai Lung voting against it.
“People are grown up… they do not need to be informed that they cannot discriminate because of what they look like. This is an overreach of global powers” Said Dong Men MLA Ai Sha.
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HORSE JOCKEY CLUB MEMBER DONATES BL$20 MILLION TO CONSERVATIVE PARTY.
A senior member of the Bai Lung Jockey Club has donated BL$20 million to the Conservative Party.
80 year old businessman Qian Tóngzhì made the donation to the ruling party, the largest single donation in over a decade.
Mr Qian said the donation was made in opposition to what he sees as the rising influence of leftist politics worldwide. He has also made allusion to the Preventing Discrimination Employment resolution, calling it unfiltered socialism.
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NUDE MAN ARRESTED IN EMPEROR’S GARDEN.
A man has been arrested for medidating naked in the middle of the Emperor’s Garden in Pingjing.
The yet to be identified offender was seen sitting down, legs crossed and reciting the Kama Sutra.
The man was taken away by Pingjing police after a 20 minute confrontation.
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ELDERLY LADY WHO BERATED DISABLED PASSENGER ON PINGJING METRO WILL NOT FACE BAN.
The Pingjing Metro Authority has confirmed that an elderly lady who berated a disabled passenger for not giving up his seat will not face a ban despite her personal conduct towards him.
A ThrushXpress video shows 80 year old Wang Léinà berating 20 year old Fung Fūní who is paraplegic since birth for not giving his seat to her. The video was watched 200 million times.
Whilst Wang has denied wrongdoing, the PMA has confirmed that she will be allowed to travel on the metro provided that she does not display such behaviour in the future.
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TRANSPORTATION OF PAINT THINNER BANNED ON PINGJING METRO.
The Pingjing Metro Authority has announced that they will not allow individuals to carry paint thinner on their trains.
The move comes days after a homeless man opened up a can and sniffed it in front of passengers. The offender, named as Wang Yóuqī, was arrested shortly.
The MTR has urged individuals not to bring them into their trains or face a fine of BL$1,500.
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TAXI DRIVER BANNED FOR LIFE AFTER BEING CAUGHT WATCHING 5 LIVESTREAMS ON 5 PHONES AND SPEEDING OFFENSES.
A taxi driver has been banned from driving for life after being caught watching 5 livestreams on 5 different phones at once as well as speeding at 100 mph.
Liang Xuǎnzé admitted to lining up 5 smartphones on his car’s dashboard and watching livestreams on all the phones. A passenger filmed the footage of Liang using the phones whilst driving.
The Pingjing High Court also learned that the 27 year old from Pingjing was also speeding at 100 mph.
