Bai Lung Central Television News (BLCTV News)

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FREE ARTISTIC USAGE ACT IS DEFEATED.

The World Assembly has voted down the Free Artistic Usage Act.

The resolution was defeated 10,637 votes to 3,223 with Bai Lung voting in favour of the act.

Had it passed, individuals would be allowed to use “symbols and icons of the governmental organizations that represent them” without punishment. The exception to this rule are military symbols.

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KASHGAR LEADER OUTLAWS KASHGARI IN WRITTEN FORM.

Kashgar leader Jumyri Andropev has declared that the written form of the Kashgari language is forbidden anyone caught writing it on paper will be ‘summarily executed’.

The hardline, pro-rural leader has been a vocal critic of writing skills, calling it a Bai Lungese concept. His aversion to writing is most likely shaped by Bai Lungese caligraphy in the mainland and associated writing with the latter culture.

Upon issuing the decree, Andropev has placed his faith in people’s memory, calling it the ultimate pen and paper.

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KASHGAR MAN ASSAULTED BY RELIGIOUS POLICE FOR WRITING KASHGARI IN PUBLIC.

A Kashgar man has been assault by self described religious police for writing in Kashgari at a public area in Mirnibari.

Dimitry Tarkoffski, an artist who specialises in western caligraphy, was attacked by the religious police who were acting out in compliance with leader Jumyri Andropev’s outlaw of the writing of the Kashgar language.

According to eyewitness reports, Tarkoffski fled the area before the religious police attempted to deliver any fatal injuries.

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ANDROPEV PRAISES RELIGIOUS POLICE: “WRITING OUR LANGUAGE ONLY HELPS THE BAI LUNGESE INTERFERE WITH OUR WAY OF LIFE!”.

Kashgar leader Jumyri Andropev has praised the religious police who assaulted freelance artist Dimitry Tarkoffski for writing stylised Kashgari language writings in public.

Tarkoffski was reportedly kicked and beaten up by the religious police in Mirinbari. The freelance artist has since been in hiding following the assault.

Andropev has called the writing of their language as helping “the Bai Lungese occupiers to interfere with their way of life.”.

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COMEDIAN ARRESTED FOR ALLEGED ASSAULT ON AUDIENCE WITH CHOPSTICKS.

A comedian has been arrested by Pingjing police over an alleged assault of an audience with chopsticks.

Wen Sīpà, a Pingjing based comedian known for his blue humour, allegedly threw a pair of chopsticks in a casual manner over his shoulders after a heckler interupted one of his jokes during one of his gigs at the Lion’s Share Bar. Mr Wen has denied that he intended to cause harm to the person

Pingjing police have confirmed that Mr Wen was arrested following a complaint by a patron at the Lion’s Share Bar.

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TAXI DRIVER ARRESTED FOR SMUGGLING ILLICIT CIGARETTES AND FAKE CONCERT TICKETS.

A taxi driver based in Pingjing has been arrested on suspicion of smuggling over BL$1 million worth of imitation brand cigarettes and fake concert tickets.

Li Láitè was stopped by police on Route 10 after an anonymous tip off was made to police claiming that a taxi driver was transporting illicit cigarettes and is a ticket scalper.

Mr Li did not offer resistance when police searched his vehicle. He did not say who is he working for.

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COMEDIAN CHARGED WITH CHOPSTICK ASSAULT ON HECKLER.

Comedian Wen Sīpà has been formally charged with assault on a person who heckled him at the Lion’s Share bar in Pingjing.

Mr Wen allegedly threw a pair of chopstick at Liang Hang who kept interupting him by demanding he mention his famous jokes instead of his newer material. Mr Liang spoke to BLCTV News and claimed that he developed suicide ideation following the assault.

A court hearing at the Pingjing District court has been scheduled for 10th August this year.

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LEFTIST ACTIVIST ARRESTED FOR DESECRATING COFFIN OF BUSINESS TYCOON.

A man has been arrested for vandalising a coffin containing the body of sock factory businessman Dīng Hāsī.

Dīng, who had a net worth of BL$250 million, passed away on 20th April from a heart attack at his Pingjing home aged 90.

The trespasser, identified as 30 year old Hu Jiājiàng, entered the funeral home in the capital and kicked the coffin containing Ding in protest of capitalism. The self declared leftist was arrested by police after private security detained him.

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KASHGAR LEADER OVERSEES MASS BURNING OF WRITING APPARATUS.

Kashgar leader Jumyri Andropev has presided over the burning of writing apparatus in the village of Varenbari.

The mass burning comes days after the hardline pro-rural leader declared that the Kashgari language should exist as writing. Pencils, papers and bottles of ink were tossed into a bonfire.

According to reports, the leader is also targeting outlawing the use of any utensils for handling food, deeming them to be Bai Lungese concepts.

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NEW XINJIANG RESTORES POWER AFTER 12 HOUR BLACKOUT.

New Xinjiang has restored its power grid after the city was left without power for 12 hours.

Traffic lights stopped working, hospitals were left without power and people were stranded inside metro for half a day.

It is unknown if the power outage was caused by Kashgar insurgents.

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ELECTRIC FERRY ATTACKED BY KASHGAR YOUTHS.

An electric ferry stationed in Hong Kan has been attacked by Kashgar youths.

The ferry, partly funded by the government, was stationed at the mainland port. It is only the 2nd ferry to be purely electrically powered in the country.

Youths of Kashgar ethnicity threw bottles and stones at the ferry, complaining of its noise despite electric ferries being generally quieter. The group fled the scene when police arrived at the port following a complaint from Hong Kan Port company.

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LABOUR DAY NOT OBSERVED IN COUNTRY ANYMORE, WARNS PRESIDENT GONG.

President Gong Chūrù has warned citizens that they are not entitled to an automatic day off from their work as Labour Day is no longer observed in the country.

The event was scrapped in 2017 by then-President Lin Zhang as part of her government’s plan to distance itself from far-left dictator Chen Zheng Sun, who made 1st May a national holiday.

Despite the removal of the holiday, employers are permitted to offer employees a day off on 1st May.

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TIMBER STANDARDS IS REPEALED.

The World Assembly has voted to repeal the Sustainable Timber Standards.

The repeal vote was passed by 10,683 votes to 2,438.

President Gong Chūrù has welcomed the repeal, which he labelled the timber standards legislation as bureaucratic.

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LEFTIST FILM MAKER CLAIMS NO PRIVATE COMPANY OFFERS MAY DAY HOLIDAY FOR WORKERS.

A far-left film maker has claimed that no private company in the country offers paid leave for their employees during 1st May.

Tang Dèngdá released a 1 hour documentary showing him calling up major companies such as Nantong Car Company and Wei’s Supermarket enquiring about employee satisfaction. Mr Tang has reportedly called over 100 companies.

Mr Tang, who reportedly has links to far-left groups, claims that none of the major companies offer their employees a day off during 1st May despite the country giving all workers a day off.

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2 ARRESTED IN MAY DAY PROTEST.

Two people have been arrested after police went on a 3 day manhunt to find 2 people caught spraying anti-government slogans in the Presidential Office building.

Brothers Zhou Yuèhú and Zhou Yuèzhǐ are arrested on suspicion of being the pair who sprayed the graffiti on the gates on the Presidential Office building.

Police found spray paint and black coveralls consistent with CCTV images of the two perpetrators wearing them at the time.

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TV ACTOR SENTENCED TO 5 YEARS IN PRISON FOR DRUG POSSESSION.

A tv actor has been sentenced to 5 years in prison for possessing 1 gram of etomidate last July.

Wu Kǎitè, who mostly appears as an extra on various TV shows such as The Jade on Yang River, admitted to carrying the drug as well as using it. The High Court jury unanimously found Mr Wu guilty of drug possession.

Mr Wu did not talk to reporters after being handed his sentence.

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PENSIONER JAILED FOR 10 YEARS IN PRISON FOR THEFT IN BETTING SHOP.

An elderly man has been jailed for 10 years in jail for stealing over BL$1,500 of valuables at a betting shop in New Jian Sha Zui.

Ren Xiàpǔ, a former bricklayer, admitted to taking bags, notes and gold chains from customers between March and July 2024.

Despite his lawyer claiming dementia in an attempt to mitigate his sentence, he was handed the maximum sentence after the jury were unswayed by his defence. Mr Ren will serve his sentence from tomorrow.

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LUNATIC ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING BYSTANDERS WITH STEEL CHAINS.

A man has been arrested in Pingjing for randomly attacking bystanders with steel chains.

Wen Niào, who is believed to be unemployed, used a 2 metre steel chain to randomly whip individuals in Pingjing’s Fung Central Market.

Mr Wen’s whipping spree come to an end after 20 minutes.

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FIVE YEAR OLD BOY SERVED BEER IN RESTAURANT.

A restaurant based in Pingjing has been condemned for accidently serving a pint of beer to a 5 year old boy.

According to eye witness report, the boy was given a brownish coloured drink and drank from it assuming it to be fizzy apple juice. The boy reportedly complained to his father that the drink tasted sour. The drink was quickly withdrawn and replaced with the correct drink.

Despite showing no obvious signs from consuming the alcoholic drink, many netizens condemned the restaurant for serving the wrong drink.

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TWO PEOPLE ARREST IN RESTAURANT FOR DRUNKEN BRAWL.

Two people have been arrested on suspicion of starting a fight at the Jiulong Restaurant.

Tang Lánjīng and Liang Xīngshā had a massive argument when the two accused other of stealing each others meals. The pair, who reportedly drank loads of alcohol, tossed pint glasses at one another.

The pair were ejected from the premise and were placed in handcuffs shortly.