ICAF World Cup Nystatiszna 2024


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Co-Written with @cowlass

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2024 WORLD CUP VENUES AND INFORMATION

As World Cup qualifying is soon to be underway we’re happy to announce all sixteen venues that will host all forty-eight teams later this year. We’ll also be going over some information for both players and fans alike in order to guarantee the best possible experience!

i - The Nystatinne government would like to remind visitors not to have too much fun.

—VENUES—

Imperial People Fund’s Stadium - Newport, Varm Kyst


i - For national security reasons the Nystatinne government has forbidden the sharing of additional information, including images and descriptions, of stadiums until the tournament commences.

The Imperial People’s Fun Stadium, or “The Donut” as locals call it! Services fresh, warmed unseasoned bread and rockin’ hot soup! It is unclear why the locals call it a donut, and attempts to ask the locals about this has been less than fruitful. They simply just walk away when questioned by our reporters. They’re probably just really shy! It will be the host of both Nystatiszna’s group and the host of the World Cup Final!

Future Shano Tuvria Dishonorable Stadium - Stålby, Varm Kyst

Wrights’ Right Stadium - Tømmer, Varm Kyst

Ingrain Grain Stadium and Bar - Maissirivi, Varm Kyst

Cooper-Brookman Stadium - Neo-Fantøm, Varm Kyst

Akuan Development Bank Center (ADBC) - Tvillingfjelltoppbyen, Varm Kyst

Lotus-Nordflix-Jotun Stadium - Maislagerby, Varm Kyst

404 Stadium Not Found - Neo-Fantøm, Varm Kyst

Yuyu and Ny’Fotløs Stadium - Kattunge, Varm Kyst

Nystatiszna-Lapliszna-Syrtænzna Tolerance Stadium (NLSTS) - Maissirivi, Varm Kyst

Viktor von Dotseth Stadium and Experience - Kala, Store Innsjøer

Naylorbrookisza Memorial Stadium and Museum - Byne, Store Innsjøer

King Olav lost to Jarl Bjørn at minigolf (KOLTJAM) - Lohi, Blåhimmel

July 24, 2020 Celebration Stadium - Fäkken, Blåhimmel

Nystapi People’s Stadium- Vilja, Blåhimmel

Tripfall Andies Secure Stadium (TASS) - Noh’katx, Blåhimmel

—INFORMATION—

The NIB (Nystatinne Intelligence Bureau), would like to be first to welcome visitors into our country. Please, always carry any relevant documents on your person for identification, avoid speaking in languages other than Nys’tat’en outside of the select zones, do not enter districts not marked for tourists, public transport will be provided for all fans, do not enter any buses or trams not marked for tourists and keep in mind religious values set forth by the government and its people.

Remember to dress warmly, do not wear the color green, red, or yellow without first official authorization from a NIB agent. Facial and hair coverings, such as hats or masks will require additional notice beforehand. Tourists with visible tattoos are asked not to enter the country. Vloggers, social media influencers and so forth, are kindly asked to leave their equipment in their home country. Cell phones, cameras, radio, video recorders and material used to record, capture or otherwise state are not allowed into the country without authorization from the NIB.

Elves or half-elves are kindly asked to hide their ears when in public. Species that have clear and visible differences from Kemonomimi such as felines, ursines and so forth, are kindly asked to cover themselves fully when in public but they are allowed to remove coverings when in private or upon entering the stadiums. Full body coverings will be provided to tourists upon entry into the country.

Aurorans, or tourists from Aurora are politely requested, when asked by locals or non-NIB officials or agents, to say they are from Concord rather than Aurora for the interest of public safety. As most Nystatinnes are not aware of the existence of other Auroran nations outside of the MBE.

Tourists visiting the country will notice a plethora of incense burning, papers nailed into buildings or walls, and other religious iconry. Tourists are reminded that one should leave them alone, and not attempt to collect them or throw them into the trash. If one wishes to purchase such collectables, such as prayer wards or incense, then one can do-so at any stadium gift shop or Union Square.

We hope you’re as excited for the World Cup as we are, and we appreciate your cooperation with the given guidelines from the Nystatinne officials.

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Norman Griffith, Chairman
International Coalition of Association Football
Rilanon, Christie Island

12 February 2024

Dear Chairman Griffith,

The nations of the Tavari Union were immeasurably disappointed to see the recently released list of stadium names for the upcoming edition of the World Cup in Nystatiszna. In 2022, Tavaris named a stadium in honor of Sir Shano Tuvria, the former Tavari Prime Minister and former International Forum Secretary-General, who at the time was believed to be tragically dead. Thankfully, Sir Tuvria was and is alive, and we hope he will remain so for a very long time. The same cannot be said for Nystatiszna, whose authorities have decided, with veritable glee, to name one of the venues for the world’s premier sporting event after their wish to see him dead.

It cannot be overstated just how inconceivably inappropriate this is. That this decision was permitted by any self-respecting institution of any kind baffles the mind. It is a cruel, sick, evil joke—and that ICAF has sanctioned it means that it itself has become a sick joke as well. Here, one of the world’s most vaunted international bodies has deigned to grant its imprimatur to this disgusting display of callousness. Our world is too often divided by acts of evil and hate, but sport has been one of those beautiful examples of something that can truly bring us all together. ICAF was entrusted by the nations of the world with the care and protection of that sense of unity. You have failed miserably. You and the entire leadership of your organization should be ashamed.

I am quite pleased to inform you that not only has the entire membership of the Tavari Union—Acronis, Elatana, Metradan, Racatrazi, Rodoka and the Isles, and Tavaris—decided to boycott the 2024 World Cup, each member has decided to resign from ICAF entirely. Because the only language that your organization speaks is money, we have no choice but to deny you our membership dues. This behaviour on the part of your institution simply cannot be tolerated. The stadium named “for” Sir Tuvria is not even the most egregious insult among the list of names. The hosts of the 2024 World Cup have named stadiums in honour of terrorist attacks, brutal dictators, and several inscrutable jokes that make it blatantly obvious that Nystatiszna has no respect for football at all. The species-based discrimination on display in the announcement is nauseating in its bluntness and there shouldn’t be room for it in any civilised society. And, indeed, the prohibition on people with tattoos entering the country means that several Tavari athletes—who proudly wear tattoos as part of their expression of their Tavat Avati faith—could not enter the country anyway.

The people, and even the government, of Nystatiszna have the right to have whatever opinion they like about Sir Shano Tuvria and about the Tavari Union. It has been clear to us for years that Nystatiszna does not value orcish lives. But the World Cup belongs to the world, and football was supposed to be something that welcomes everyone. By standing alongside Nystatiszna, you have informed the world that ICAF does not value orcish lives either. You had the choice to refuse to allow this to occur. You had the choice, when reading over Sunday’s statement, to stop, realize just how horrifying and beyond the pale it was, and take a stand. You chose not to, because you are a coward. Football has no room for cowards.

The members of the Tavari Union may be prepared to discuss rejoining the confederation after this World Cup, and after your resignation.

Regards,

shtonar signature

On behalf of the Council of the Tavari Union:
Shtonar Talakar
President of the Republic of Metradan

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OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT TRANSMISSION FROM THE REPUBLIC OF OSCRELIA

Dear Mr. Griffith:

After careful consultation with the members of the Cabinet, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and the management and players of the Oscrelian team, the Government of Oscrelia has decided that it cannot in good conscience participate in the 2024 ICAF World Cup. This is not a decision we take lightly.

We would like the leadership of ICAF to remember that the reason why the 2022 World Cup was held in Tavaris and Acronis instead of Nystatiszna was due to concerns over Nystatiszna’s civil rights record. It is the position of the Government of Oscrelia that the sapient rights situation in Nystatiszna has hardly improved, with the wave of political repression under Empress Ingrid being so significant as to get her disinherited by King Olav I.

Furthermore, the names of the venues that Nystatiszna has put forward is also cause for grave concern. For example, the Tripfall Andies Secure Stadium uses the term ‘andies,’ a derogatory term used to refer to foreigners. We do not believe that this is conducive to the environment of fair international competition that ICAF seeks to foster. We also note with serious concern that its abbreviation, TASS, appears to refer to the fascist Kyrlot prime minister. As the government of a country that suffered through a fascist dictatorship during the 20th century, we find this to be beyond the pale.

We must also note the serious allegations against ICAF regarding the involvement of corruption in the selection process. With Nystatsizna’s apparent glorification of brutal dictators and terrorist acts in its venue names, as well as the former IF and current LN Secretary-General Shano Tuvria, also taken into account, Oscrelia cannot participate in the 2024 World Cup and, if this is a pattern that continues into the future, it will be reconsidering its membership in the organization.

The ICAF’s endorsement of this is quite frankly appalling, and Oscrelia must take a stand regarding this matter lest it compromise on the principles on which the Republic was founded.

Sincerely,

Melissa Chester
Chancellor
Republic of Oscrelia

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GFC

OFFICIAL STATEMENT FROM DIRECTOR ŽIEDUNE PAVASARYTE

After consideration by the GFC board of directors and I, we have decided to officially withdraw the GFC from the world cup. This decision was a hard one to make, as we realize how much we and other Gondwanans love football, but we cannot in good conscience continue to support this blatant disregard for all the wrongs that Nystatiszna has done and continues to do. We urge all Gondwanans to reschedule their plans to visit Nystatiszna and we will attempt to give refunds to all that bought tickets to view this event.

It is clear from the statement released by ICAF and Nystatiszna that neither of them plan to do anything regarding the speciesist restrictions applied to all tourists and people traveling to Nystatiszna for the World Cup. Gondwana is home to many different species, many of which would be seen as less than others by the government of Nystatiszna if they chose to travel there for the event. This is horrid and will not be tolerated by the GFC or any organizations affiliated with it. We refuse to let this go unnoticed and will only begin rethinking this decision if ICAF and the Nystatiszna government revoke these restrictions.

Our organization is also disgusted by the names that the Nystatiszna government has chosen for their venues. These naming conventions are a mockery to the sport of football as a whole, and it will not be tolerated, especially when they are making light of horrible people or disrespecting other honorable people. We are in utter disbelief that ICAF would have ever let this happen, especially when it disrespects the sport that the organization is named for. Unless they change their ways, we will be forced to entirely disassociate ourselves from ICAF and seek another parent association to affiliate ourselves with.

It is clear from national reactions that we are not alone in this decision, which is why we knew that this would be the right one to make. We hope that all Gondwanan citizens and nations will stand by our decision. At this point in time we are still planning on having our own competition, but there will be no teams entering the World Cup, so there is no need for GFC teams to reschedule any planning for GFC qualification games. We will update our statement as ICAF and Nystatiszna respond to this issue.

Sincerely,

Žiedune Pavasaryte
Director
Gondwanan Football Conference

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OFFICIAL TRANSMISSION FROM GREAT MORSTAYBISHLIA

Good Morning Chairman Griffiths,

I was rather shocked when I woke up this morning and the top of my agenda was whether or not the MSB should respond to the opening statements of the International Coalition of Association Football. I have been prime minister of Morstaybishlia for four and a half years and I can say this is the first time football has been at the top of the agenda. I was shocked because I am a politician, and at the top of my political agenda was not about finalising an exit strategy for Marislia with Ms von Anzitter, nor was it any domestic issue, or perhaps the third return of Sinter Tass. At the top of my agenda was making a political statement for football, a sport which for over a hundred and fifty years has been played by people across Urth. A sport which has brought communities together, has solved wars, and has united many people and countries around the world. After carefully reading through the report it became clear to me why.

The ICAF and everyone in its upper echelons should be ashamed for committing to choose Nystatiszna for a second World Cup running. My report outlined how the World Cup avoided Nystatiszna in 2022 because of its civil rights records. Two years made no difference: the country parades its sheer disrespect for other species, communities, religions, world leaders and nation states in its joint statement with the ICAF, where it outlines a strict doctrine for football fans travelling to its country. Such a doctrine I would have expected from the Grand Matriarchy of Ethalria, or Kyrloth under Sinter Tass, not least Nystatiszna, another Borean nation. A nation which demanded absurd reparations from my government for damages by Morstaybishlia’s colonial past on behalf of Kemonomimi’s worldwide and yet parade such ideas of fascism, cultural discrimination, anti-speciesism and a profound disrespect to seemingly everyone from all of the ridiculous designated stadium names, to species that don’t look similar to Kemonomimi to cover up in public to avoid upsetting the native population is like something school children in Morstaybishlia are taught from the history books. Such an archaic mindset belongs in the nineteenth century, not the twenty first.

It is with this knowledge that my government will work closely with each football association representing the four constituent countries of Morstaybishlia in boycotting the 2024 World Cup. We will be exploring ways to fully reimburse fans who have already prepaid for tickets, travel and accommodation, and whilst we cannot and will not stop the free will of our people from travelling to the cursed land of Nystatiszna, we will be strongly encouraging them not to. Fascism will not prevail and the world is responding. You should be ashamed of yourself for being associated with this mess, Chairman Griffiths. It is what you will be remembered for.

Regards,

Parliament of Great Morstaybishlia and its respective administrations,

Franklin Barvata
Prime Minister

Serving under His Majesty,

Lambertus VII
King

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Hlenderian United Soccer League_small.svg

HLENDERIAN UNITED SOCCER LEAGUE
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The Hlenderian United Soccer League looks forward to a fun, safe, and fulfilling World Cup this year. For the first time ever, Hlenderians have set aside their (sometimes fierce) rivalries and come together to submit one pan-national team to the ICAF World Cup in Nystatiszna. Kwari fans of the Pelachis FC, Vrotri fans of the Norrith FC, and Mūni fans of the “Frigid Nellies” FC in the southeast have agreed to come together to support one, united, pan-ethnic team representing our entire country! Every household across the island - and many more Hlenderians living abroad - eagerly wait to see the results of our qualifying match-ups!

HUSL would be remiss if we did not address the recent controversy surrounding the release of official guidelines by the Nystatisznan government encouraging certain behavior by visiting teams. Many countries have even gone so far as to call for a boycott of the entire Cup, in response to certain measures undertaken by the Nystatisznan government to secure their unique national character. The sentiment expressed by some of this opposition is that these laws keep the Cup from being a welcoming place for all.

HUSL - and indeed, the vast majority of Hlenderians - respect the need for Nystatiszna to promote standards befitting their nation. HUSL players and staff are prepared to comply with the guidelines laid down by the government of the nation they will be guests of. Kemonomimi customs - though they may seem peculiar to others - inform and strengthen the social bonds between all Nystatisznans. As Hlenderians, we would never dream of petulantly demanding special treatment when visiting abroad.

Just as Kemonomimi observe Hlenderia’s own, unique cultural customs when they visit: paying tourist fees when entering Hlenderian Economic Zones (HEZs), wearing head and ear coverings, choosing not to enter religious sites or Kwari or Mūni settlements, refraining from promoting cosmopolitan ideology, and abstaining from engaging in miscegenation with native Hlenderians, so must we observe their own cultural customs during our games there.

HUSL hopes that this controversy, instigated by certain people who wish to impose their values on others, passes quickly and we can begin doing what we’ve prepared for all year - entertaining you!

Talvene Nerōth
Chief of the Hlenderian United Soccer League

Joint Public Statement to the Chair of the International Coalition of Association Football

We issue this statement at a time in which the status of the World Cup and Association Football has been placed in contention for these past two years, and in a period where the actions of the governing body of this Coalition and the Nystatinne government has forced a number of national teams out of the upcoming game due to the insensitive, inappropriate and intentionally divisive messages expressed.

Association Football has, throughout its storied history, proudly retained a heritage of a game which accommodates all nations and allows all peoples to come together for the sake of participation in an event promoting global collaboration and understanding. Never in the history of this game has an official event ever shown such a blatant, malicious disregard for these basic building blocks of international sports. The use of the World Cup as a forum for which to express hatred, xenophobia and the political agenda of Nystatiszna is a perversion for which cannot be allowed to stand should the International Coalition of Association Football be considered equipped to serve as an appropriate organising body.

It is in solidarity with the teams and nations that have made the decision to pay the heavy cost of abandoning this body on moral grounds that we seek to demand the suspension of the 2024 World Cup until such a time in which an amicable solution may be found in which the International Coalition of Association Football may take upon its ethical duties in conducting the event. It is with a heavy heart that we must demand this, however there must be necessary action taken to avoid the scenario in which the event may willingly carry on while excluding and alienating so many,

Should you and the organising body intend to ignore what action must necessarily be taken, there will be no option left but to withdraw any and all endorsements and participation within the body and the World Cup it intends to organise, as to do otherwise would be to not only besmirch the principles of this sport but also deny the term “World Cup” the universality that its name implies.

Signed,

Marit Koolsbergen

Chairwoman of the Combined Forum of Sport for the Imperial Vistara Commonwealth

On behalf of:

Twan Kiefhorst
Commissioner-General, Imperial Vistara Football Confederation

Gustaf Dekker
Honorary President and Team Captain, Vorpestian National Football Club

Saartje Harbers
Vincent Bayat
Co-Chairs, Imperial Football Association of North Gondwana

Ewan Peréz
Commissioner-General, Valerijkian Royal Soccer Authority

Nelis Eristavi
Commissioner-General, K’undzeti-Wecernia Joint Football Authority

Aruleta Taszail

Kireitan Soccer Association

Olve Tandberg

Chairman, National Football Association of Pledonia

Adina Tveit

Chariwoman, Nakosan Association Football Federation

Roland Loch

Prime Minister of Ewenshire

Wendel Peters

Chancellor of Nisserige

Tseren Buyirugh

National Secretary. Commission of Health, Exercise and Physical Culture in Suvania

Nigel Dancen

Chairman of the Lokanian Football Confederation

Lowen Bodrugan

Executive Principle of the Dewnan Football Authority

Karlotta Lössl

Chairwoman of Pan-Ethalrian Football

From the desk of Interim Chairman Jebathon Elijiah Bush,

First and foremost, I want to express my upmost and most sincere apologies to the world. It goes without saying that what has transpired is nothing short of an absolute travesty, and that’s putting it very lightly. I can’t express my, nor my fellow ICAF council members, shame and embarrassment enough.

Most of the council had not been informed of the stadium names until after they had been announced. We assumed we would have been informed before then, to confirm them before announcement, but this was not the case. Mr. Griffith apparently had known the actual names far in advance and never brought them to our attention. Those who did know reported the list of names they received were very different than what the official names were, this was our mistake as our translation of the names from Nys’tat’en were incorrect. We suspect Griffith may have been involved in this incorrect translation.

Mr. Griffith was someone we all held respect for, who we thought we knew. Our judgement could not have been more wrong. We had never suspected anything like this of him, but recently he has let his feelings known. Especially after the boycotts began, there were multiple ‘events’ of his where he would go on very offensive rants on specific ethnic groups, both in public and in private. Out of respect to those groups we will not elaborate on what he said, as it was both incredibly hurtful and offensive. This was the final straw for us.

Mr. Griffith was removed as chairman of ICAF in a unanimous vote in the ICAF Council and will no longer be a part of this organization. We will be working with the Nystatine Government and there will be changes. Both with ICAF and the stadium names, as we could and should have done more to prevent this. For that, we are sorry.

I would also like to apologize to the Nystatine government, as this has undoubtedly shed a negative light on them. This was our mistake and they should not receive the blame for it. If you wish to blame anyone, blame us. Ultimately, this is our responsibility.

I ask you, the nations who have boycotted, to please return once these changes have been made. I cannot apologize enough that you even had to make this decision at all. Let me assure you we will take strides to improve and make sure that nothing like this ever happens again.

Jebathon Elijiah Bush
Interim ICAF Chairman

—By @Cowlass

Newport, Nystatiszna
Prime Minister’s Office
Victoria Engebretsen

When we were informed by ICAF that we won the selection for hosting the world cup, we couldn’t help but be overjoyed in our excitement. Every Nystatinne, even those in the rural parts of the country were absolutely enthralled to show off our country in the way we see it everyday rather than how the rest of the world views our fair country. I don’t believe I need to explain why the outside views our fair country with such malice and misunderstanding. However, I would like to highlight some words shared about our country in the highest assembly in the land, the International Forum.

“Domestic dispositions of the Nystatinne… will endanger players and spectators alike.” While I won’t cite the specific ambassador that decided to so openly and bluntly state that in the general council. It reflects the views of those nations who had the ‘privilege’ of colonizing and never having their people go through struggles of the developing world in the modern day. Only brought to light by ICAF’s complete and utterly negligent, bordering on incompetent, handling of translating our language into Codexian.

Within the League of Novaris, such statements were echoed. Repeatedly stating our country is not safe and is unworthy of hosting the World Cup. All fueled by xenophobic and speciest stereotypes. When our ambassador to the LN offered to clarify, they were informed to be silent and that the complex situation before us was clear.

Within our good friends in the Red Crown Economic Union, we were threatened to be kicked out. Not because of our actions, but because the organization founded for the promotion of sports made a deliberate move to make those racist stereotypes against us appear true. Numerous trade deals have been pulled, companies that came to our country have started to move out or began the process to move out of our country. When we went to ICAF, after we received word of this hogwash of translation documents about the stadium names and our security procedures, they took almost three weeks to respond. During which, unparalleled damage to our standing in the world and the economy was being done. Damage, when our country is in such a crucial and developing stage of our existence.

I personally would like to highlight the aspect of these stadium names in particular first. Not only the mistranslations that promote the stereotype that all Nystatinnes are racist, xenophobic monsters. That it also directly attacked several of our corporate sponsors we partnered with to construct the stadiums, which serves to only further drive away investment into Nystatiszna. The second aspect I would like to highlight, is that somehow every nation boycotting and the League of Novaris all promptly believed that the stadium names are what people of Nystatiszna voted for or that the Government named them such. All of which boycotting nations, failed to even bother with asking us for clarification. Simply accepting the racist stereotypes of Nystatiszna without a second thought. I wasn’t aware of the meaning of July 24, 2020 and that deadly attack on that day until my assistent looked it up. Yet, it seems as if every one of these boycotting nations simply took it at face value. That my government and party, who has been fighting against these stereotypes and discrimination for so long, would actually name one of our stadiums after a terrorist attack, in our first real public opening into our country. If another nation, one that isn’t East Borean and is far wealthier than ours had the same issue with mistranslation. Then it would be assumed it was a mistranslation and misunderstanding on some aspect. It is only because of our nation’s troublesome history and location in Borea that this matter was even put forward into the world. Even more so evident when such matters are brought up to the massive international bodies, such as the International Forum and League of Novaris.

As such, the Government of Nystatiszna, in addition to hosting the world cup and directly handling translation of the stadium names and security procedures, will be formally suing the ICAF for defamation and damages. We accept the lawsuit will never even remotely cover the massive damages it has caused to Nystatiszna as a whole, however I personally feel if something is not done then ICAF and all every other organization will feel free to promote racist, hateful and xenophobic views to any nation that doesn’t fit into the mold of the developed-world liberal world view. Even more so, when they so clearly proved in our own case that they can freely get away with it. My government hopes that this would prove to be a lesson in stopping and thinking about something rather than taking it in as fact to confirm your own racist bias.

The Interim ICAF Chairperson, has officially apologized and stated their acceptance of responsibility over this situation. It is the least ICAF could possibly do to amend this wrong. Though given our history with ICAF, and more importantly its effects on destroying what we took so long to build. I personally won’t be holding my breath.

Signed;
Prime Minister of Nystatiszna, Victoria Engebretsen