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Issue 4 - November 2009
In This Issue:
Welcome
Founderlessness
Legislative Update
Roleplay Update
Not Much Else
Comic Relief
Welcome
Welcome to the Renatian Review; the foreign update newspaper for the region of Renatia!
Not much miscellaneous stuff to update you with this month, so we’ll delve straight into it:
Founderlessness
Earlier this month, Renatia’s founder, St Greeog, ceased to exist.
This came as a shock to some, but others had been watching the days rack up on the Last Activity record and merely used the opportunity to say “I told you so!”
The CTEing came after the nation’s controller; Consul Narda, suffered an extreme case of laziness and forgot to log in. As soon as the nation CTEd, the region convened to discuss what to do next.
Despite Consul Diddly Squitt-Terrosiana assuring the region that Narda would return soon, it was decided to be safer to follow the rules set out in the Organic Law, which dictate that, should the founding nation CTE, the WA Delegate should impose a password until stability can be assured.
The password has since been repealed, the founding nation resurrected, and Narda back to being semi-active rather than just plain inactive. Despite the eventual futility of the regions’ actions, it could be said that it was a good exercise to protect against future, more permanent, inactivity on the part of the founder(s).
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Narda, upon realising he forgot to log in.
Legislative Update
A summary of what’s been going on in the House of Law Lords recently:
New Organic Law - After lengthy discussions for the past couple of months, the Law Lords have voted on the all new Organic Law (Constitution) for the region. The Law, which incorporates almost every other law ever passed in Renatia, seeks to streamline the region and make a more easily accessable document. The vote passed 9-0-1 aye-nay-abstain, therefore passing.
Impeachment Amendment - After the founding nation CTEd, discussion began about what to do if a government official failed to fulfill their job properly (as Narda had done here). Whilst it was later decided that the Consuls should not, as unelected founders, be eligble for impeachment, a bill was drawn up to codify the process to impeach elected officials. After discussion, the amendment went to vote and passed 6-0-0 aye-nay-abstain, therefore passing.
Roleplay Update
A summary of what’s been going on on the planet of Renatia recently:
Eleb-Morani War - It was a turn of faith in Moranus Vera. The day after the revealing new treasures in the Thesala Museum of Ancient History, the priceless Revetta Ring was stolen. Said ring was made by the founder and first king of Thesala. A security guard, Anan Hersposis, 49, was found dead. The bullet, along with a hacker IP address, pointed to Eleben. The Elebeneese Emperor declared war for unknown reasons soon after. As provocations go, this wasn’t much, but a war has ensued and, with Nentsia seeking to intervene on the side of Eleben, could this be the end for Moranus Vera?
Yam Bat Summit - After months of fighting over the nation of Diddly Squitt, the three main factions of the Democrats, the Revolutionaries and the Sepratists have assembled in Yam Bat, a city in Shinar, to discuss the stalemate and how best to go about resolving their difficulties. The talks have got off to a shaky start, and it may not be an easy ride, as many had hoped. Whoever comes out on top after these talks though, will surely change the fact of Diddly Squitt forever.
Tsunami - Over the decades, several Tsunamis have hit the Conortropolin coast all varying in power. The most recent Tsunami, happening recently, was the most powerful one for decades. First it struck the Provence off the west coast of Conortropolis which was called Ikast - Branden. The island Provence was virtually wiped out as the tsunami tore through the land. The tsunami then moved on to mainland Conortropolis, where the western coast was hit, causing massive destruction as shops, cars & people’s homes were torn to pieces. The total number of deaths were confirmed as 3,109. The Chancellor of Conortropolis hesitated when supplying aid to the people on the west coast in case of another tsunami even though several other nations successfully sent aid on time. This proved to be one of Joseph Schneider’s worst decisions ever. Aid workers were unsuccessful in evacuating the citizens on the west coast due to delays ordered by the Government. This resulted in protests & even riots throughout the nation. Eventually Chancellor Schneider was forced to resign form his position. Elections are to be held soon.
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The Tsunami hits Bregenz.
Uioy Expansion - It was well know that the Empire of Uioy had been far larger three hundred years ago and one of the Countries that had once been under the thumb of the empire was Gorvesh the nation had never been friends with their neighbours but they had never thought for a second they would be attacked by them but with out provocation the Empire lead a brutal and swift attack. In the early hours of the morning Aerial Bombers took out the Major Army base on the border of the two nations clearing the way for thousands of ground troops to take the Nation. By three AM the Cabinet of Gorvesh had been captured and under threat of death signed over the sovereignty of Gorvesh. A few nations now supply the Rebels of Gorvesh while others support the expansion of Uioy.
Descent into Darkness - After peaceful protests turned bad and, disillusioned with democracy, Eriadu’s President, James Glovelle, has declared himself a dictator and, with the military’s support, is attempting to round up all his opposition. A Civil War will doubtless ensue, and it remains to be seen how the nations of Renatia will react to the news.
End War - The ‘End War’ lasted long, and it struck hard. Power stations were bombed, dams destroyed and populations severely decreased. The war spanned four continents at its hight. But, in the end, only one could win. After the Thesala Conference in near-by Moranus Vera, a plebiscite was called. The result was clear-Rondora to succumb to Eleben. It is currently peaceful once more, the four provinces of Eleben are in harmony once more…
Not Much Else
There hasn’t really been anything else going on this month so, instead, we’ll treat you to a few extra jokes:
Comic Relief
The Pope flies in to a town for a visit. Well, the mayor spares NO expense welcoming the Pope. Sure, the red carpet was nice, and tarmac was pleasant to kiss. But the special treat was the limo. The mayor got THE best limo he could get. A truly awe-inspiring, gold trimmed, jewel encrusted, white-white limo.
As the Pope walked across the tarmac toward the limo he had to catch his breath. It was SUCH a lovely car that he found himself compelled. The Pope steps over to the chauffeur and breaks protocol by asked if HE could drive the limo. Not daring to deny the Pope, the chauffeur helps the Pope into the driver’s seat and then gets in the back.
With screeching tires, the marvellous limo, with the Pope at the wheel, takes off speeding onto the highway, easily taking the heavenly car to over a hundred miles per hour.
Not more than a minute or two later, the Pope sees flashing red and blue lights in the rear view mirror and pulls over.
“Is there a problem, officer?” the Pope asks.
Quite taken aback, the officer stammers and says “uhh…I…I…excuse me sir…I…Uhh… no, nothing’s wrong. I…just wanted to welcome you to our fine city.”
As the officer gets back into his cruiser the limo peels out and high-tails it once again.
“Why didn’t you give that guy a ticket?!?” the officer’s partner asks.
“Oh, no, you don’t give THAT guy a ticket. He’s way too big.” the office says.
The partner asks “Oh? Who was it? Was it the mayor?”
“heh, no, not the mayor. This guy is WAY bigger than the mayor!”
“Who was it then, the President? Bill Gates???”
“Noway. this guy’s way bigger than them.”
“Well who was it??” insists the partner.
The officer admits “Well, ok, I don’t actually know WHO was in the limo…but he had the POPE for a chauffeur!!”
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Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”
“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”
Thanks for reading! See you next month!
Editor: Diddly Squitt - Terrosiana
Contributors: Conortropolis, Eleben & Menadovia