CLOUD+TV Race stream: Cukish Grand Prix, 13 November 2022. Commentators: Danny Koffee, Mark Barrell, Todd Cabbage (pit lane)
Koffee: Welcome, distinguished guests, to the penultimate race of the Series One World Championship! We’re in [he struggles to pronounce it, and despite his best efforts, his Staynish accent is overwhelming] Órna Çéqi, New Leganés, one island over to the north-east from the World’s Capital, for the Cukish Grand Prix!
Barrell: [in flawless Cukish] Se Órnale Qáber Vía Ftomovíle tazh rámule loítevir-loíter kavíastinóri. Éto kayásfe. [We’ll be racing on the Órnale Qáber Vía Ftomovíle circuit for 66 laps. There won’t be any rain.]
Koffee: I, uh, I totally agree with you there Mark.
Haaland Rusnák has put his Spiiker on pole position, his second of the season, and he lines up alongside the Novia of Kasran is’Vaara. It’s been quite a qualifying session; the championship contenders have been relegated to 3rd and 5th. Matthieu Soyer holds an eight-point lead, but he’s going to have to fight to keep it that way.
Lap 1
Koffee: It’s lights out and away we go! Rusnák gets away well-- is’Vaara very slow off the mark! (Barrell: he might have tripped the anti-stall there). Through the first two corners now, and it looks like he’s down to tenth now, and he’s dragged Pablo Saez with him, who started directly behind and had to take evasive action. Luckily all twenty cars have gotten through that unscathed. (Barrell: Doing better than Arsal already).
Lap 5
Koffee: Down the main straight now, DRS flaps open, Alphonse Dubost making a move on Nákel Intásime. She moves over to the inside, cuts off the overtake-- (Barrell: He’s going for it anyway!) He’s on the grass, and they make contact! Flying across the track, is’Vaara behind nearly gets tagged as well, and into the barriers on the other side of the road. Heavy impact there, but they’re both moving, they’re both getting out of their cars. (Barrell: Now that was never going to work, was it.)
TEAM RADIO: #13, Nákel INTÁSIME, Tauríllielle Ftomovíler:
INT: Hwilúka! [idiot!] He should work on a construction site, if he wants to drive a bulldozer so badly!
Lap 18
Barrell: There’s a yellow flag out in Sector 2. (Koffee: That’s Mikal Christoffersen!) There’s a lot of smoke coming out of the back of that Metropol. He’s out of the car - and good thing too, because that’s now on fire. (Koffee: That’s two races in a row now where Christoffersen won’t be seeing the checkered flag.) And here comes a virtual safety car, and the marshalls with the fire extinguishers.
Lap 52
Cabbage: And there goes Josephina Louzar on the softs. That’ll probably be it from the pit lane, everyone’s now on tyres that can get them to the end of the race. (Koffee: Well not quite, Samatagh is now in the pit entry.) That’s strange, he only pitted last lap. (Koffee: Do they have an issue?) Looks like it, they haven’t brought out any new tyres. And-- yes, they’re turning off the engine. So that’s it for the Mirhaimian rookie. (Barrell: That’s the third time in five races Samatagh’s not finishing a race.) Yeah, the backmarker teams haven’t been having any fun since, oh, probably the Southern Coast.
Lap 66
Koffee: What a drive we’ve seen from Marlan Kalming today, the strategy went off without a hitch. He takes a well-deserved win here at Órna Çéqi. [Somebody has clearly taught him how to pronounce the name during the race.] Pedro Wilson comes in to make it a Morstaybishlian one-two. Haaland Rusnák defending for his life, keeps Matthieu Soyer off of the podium. And with that, Kalming takes the lead of the Drivers’ Championship! He’s going to have a five-point advantage going into the final race in Packilvania in two weeks’ time. Make sure you’re tuned in to CLOUD+TV to catch all the action as it happens, it’s gonna be one hell of a show.
