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THE HEADLINES F0R T0DAY
APPRENTICE JOCKEY BREAKS MULTIPLE BONES FOLLOWING TRAINING.
An aspiring horse jockey has been treated for 2 broken ribs, elbows, wrist bones and both kneecaps after falling off his horse whilst training at the prestigious Lin Hu Horse Racing ground.
18 year old Ma Zhōngcǎo was riding on top of Bebop Trio, whose Sire is Your Early Blues, but a loose saddle caused Ma to slipped out of his horse and landed on the grassy fields.
Mr Ma was treated at the Chen Tai Soon Hospital. His publicist has denied that his client has been put under sedation.
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ORGANISERS OF HEPTAFEST RELENTS ON REFUNDS.
Organisers of the music festival Heptafest will offer event goers a refund despite previously refusing to do so.
Every participant will be guaranteed a BL$35 refund whilst those who paid for premium tickets will need to contact the hospitality company that provided the extra packages such as complimentary buffet.
It is uknown if the event will be held in Pingjing or if a venue at a smaller city will be considered instead.
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KASHGARS AND BAI LUNGESE CLASH DURING ‘OCCUPIERS DAY EVENT’.
Kashgars and Bai Lungese living in the mainland have violently clashed in New Xinjiang during an event observed by Kashgars only.
The Occupiers Day event is held every June 6, the same day that explorers of the Bai Lungese monarchy set foot on what is now the mainland territories. The exact year that the explorers set foot on the mainland is unknown but many historians say it is around 1898. Kashgars have argued that the day is remembered for the invasion of their land by the Bai Lungese explorers as well as the murder and sexual assault of locals.
Both Bai Lungese and Kashgars thew stones at each other with the former saying to the latter that they ‘deserved to be colonised’ and labelled them luddite savages. The riot ended after 1 hour.
Kashgar leader Iffan Omarsk was not present in the Kashgar only event but praised his people during the clash and urged them to continue fighting for Kashgar freedom.
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MUSICAL CHAIR GAME HOST ARRESTED FOR BRAWL.
A freelance organiser has been arrested for encouraging musical chair participants to fight each other.
30 year old Ai Na hosted a musical chair event in Pingjing Central Park where 30 participants must find a chair to sit on after the music stops. The participant who does not find a chair to sit on is eliminated from that round.
Ai’s interpretation of the game came with an edgy twist. From the last 4 onwards, participants who finds a chair to sit on must remained seated for at least 5 second to register as a win but those still standing can knock those already sitting out of their chair. This has resulted in a participants attacking each other to win the BL$10,000 prize.
Police were called into the scene to break up the mini brawl and arrested Ai for incitement to violence
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PRANKSTER ARRESTED FOR TRASH BALLOON STUNT.
A professional prankster has been arrested for launching a dozen trash carrying balloons.
Li Xing AKA Mainland Prankman, from New Xinjiang, launched 12 balloons with bags carrying trash as his latest stunt to confuse and amuse bystanders.
Mr Li was confronted by police for his stunt. Despite pleading that he is making a short fillm, he was arrested for littering.
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MLA WANTS INSTANT JAIL TIME FOR BISCHKECK RELIGIOUS TEXT POSSESSION.
Dong Men MLA Ai Sha has called for instant jail sentences to those who possess copies of the Bibliya, the official religious text of the Bischkeck religion.
Mr Ai’s move comes a day after several excerpts were plastered in the streets of Dong Men by Kashgar residents, leaving local residents furious with the contents.
Mr Ai has responded to the controversy by calling for the religious text to be banned and possession of it will result in jail time. When asked how long should an offender serve, he simply replied “Double digits”.
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PUNDIT CONDEMNED FOR ANIMAL CRUELTY COMMENTS.
Controversial political pundit Chen Tiàoguo has been condemned by animal rights activists for making a bizarre comment about dead animals.
On 5th June, a fire broke out in the Fuxing district of Pingjing that killed 3 parrots, 20 cats and 10 dogs. Apart from the death of the animals, no one was killed in the fire,
The outspoken pundit has claimed that the hunger crisis in the country can be dealt with by cooking the carcasses of the animals instead of giving them a funeral. Chen’s comments were condemned by animal right activists and their owners as being insensitive and out of touch with reality.
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ACCESS TO BASIC LENDING AND BANKING IS PASSED.
The World Assembly has voted to pass the Basic Lending and Banking resolution.
The resolution was passed by 8,107 votes to 2,729. The resolution would provide every citizen in a country easy access to set up a bank account.
As one of many nations to vote against it, President Gong Chūrù has said he will not comply with the resolution, adding that he will enact a banking law in line with his nation.
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BAI LUNG ISSUES WEATHER WARNING.
The Pyongjing Meteorological station has issued an orange alert today with temperatures soaring across the entire nation.
Temperatures of 45c is expected in some parts of Pingjing as the weather station issued the second highest warning.
Environmentalists have blamed the nation for its lax policy on greenhouse gases.
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SINGER CAUGHT WAVING CHEN ERA BANNER; APOLOGISES TO FANS.
A traditional folk singer has apologised to her fans for waving a flag of the Chen Jong Sun era.
Zhu Da, was performing at the Feng Huang Theatre in Pingjing to an audience of 10,000. Following the end of her concert, she picked up a flag thrown by an audience member and wave it to them.
Those in attendance were quick to notice that the flag was that of the Chen era which is a red flag with a hammer and sickle on it. Pictures of her waving it became viral, generating 200 million views. Ms Zhu has posted an online apology for her gaffe, claiming that she was unaware that the flag was that of the Chen era.
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HISTORY BUFF ARRESTED ON SUSPICION OF POSSESSING SECRET DOCUMENTS.
A history buff has been arrested on suspicion of possessing documents from the Chen Jong Sun era.
Ruang Andi, from Sing Ren, claimed he fouind the highly classified documents at a car boot sale in the capital. Whilst claiming he bought it for BL$5, he refused to say who he bought it from.
Mr Ruang was charged under the Espionage Act 2007 (Amended 2017) and the National Security Act 2007 which prohibits the glorification of the former Stalinist strongman.
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RIGHTS OF SAPIENT SPECIES IS REPEALED.
Nations have voted to remove the red-tape inducing Rights of Sapient species.
The repeal resolution was passed by 9,738 votes to 1,666. Reasons for repeal include the lack of clear definition of a mentally ill person and a normal adult
But President Gong Chūrù has called the repeal as a repudiation of government intervention on the affairs of individuals.
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CADET OVERDOSES IN ARMY BARRACKS.
A trainee soldier has been found dead at the Yuanlang Army Recruit Depot in a suspected drug overdose.
Ai Pàiěr was found unresponsive in the barrack’s toilets with a syringe and a tin box containing heroin to his right. Mr Ai was taken to a nearby hospital but doctors were unable to revive him,
Drug taking amongst cadets remains a serious problem in the army with generals and politicians working to deal with the phenomenon.
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DEALER WHO SOLD HISTORIAN BUFF CHEN ERA PAPERS ARRESTED.
Pingjing Police have confirmed that they have arrested an individual for selling secret documents to Ruang Andi, a historian expert.
Zhang Wàdài admitted to selling the Chen Jong Sun era papers to Ruang but denied that he was compromising national security in anyway. In his defence, he claimed that the documents were printed over 55 years ago and the contents do not threaten public secruity.
Police have counteracted this defence, pointing out that documents deemed ‘too sensitive for public eyes’ can never be published in perpetuity.
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DOZEN DRUG MULES DEAD IN TRUCK.
12 drug mules have been found dead inside a refrigerated truck outside Route 90 in Turkmenbari.
Police released a statement concluding that the individuals had suffocated inside the truck and balloons containing heroin were found inside their bodies. It is unknown if the individuals are locals or Kashgars.
A driver and his accomplice are currently detained by police in connection with their deaths.
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E-CIG REGULATION RESOLUTION IS REPEALED.
Nations at the World Assembly have voted to end the “On Tobacco and Electronic Cigarettes” resolution.
The repeal resolution passed 9,569 votes to 2,017. Those who advocate repealing the bill argue that the state should be getting involved in people’s lifestyle choices including using e-cigarettes.
Echoing the contents of the repeal bill, President Gong Chūrù has welcomed the repeal.
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ENVIRONMENTALISTS ARRESTED OUTSIDE INCINERATOR PLANT.
A dozen environmentalists have been arrested outside jianghe in opposition to a newly opened waste to energy incinerator plant.
The incinerator facility is the most recent and 10th overall plant to be opened in the country. Environmentalists have been skeptical of its ability to convert waste into heat energy which in turn can produce electricity. They have called such plants a major contributor to CO2 emissions.
Protesters have chained themselves at the plant’s front gates as well as gluing their hands on the walls surrounding the main plant. The 12 individuals were arrested by police 1 hour later.
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OFFICER CONVICTED OF SELLING CONFISCATED DRUGS FOR FINANCIAL GAIN.
A constable has been guilty by the Pingjing High Court for stealing confiscated drugs and selling them for financial gain.
Wu Shǎnshǎn admitted to taking 1kg of ketamine in January last year and selling them to drug addicts. The court learned that Mr Wu earned BL$50,000 from the transactions.
The jury unanimously found Mr Wu guilty of the drug charges and will serve a minimum of 25 years in prison.
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KETAMINE WARS: MAN ARRESTED FOR HIDING DRUGS IN POWDERED ENERGY DRINK.
A man has been arrested for hiding ketimine in a bottle of powdered energy drink, the latest anti-drugs operation success conducted by police.
Tang Tèlì, from Sing Ren, admitted to possessing the highly addictive drug during a drugs bust conducted in the city.
Tang’s arrest comes 24 hours after a police officer was convicted of selling 1kg of ketamine to drug users.
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WILDLIFE COLLISION PREVENT RESOLUTION IS DEFEATED.
The World Assembly has failed to pass through the “Preventing Marine Wildlife Collisions”.
The resolution was defeated by 6,497 votes to 4,530.
Critics of the resolution have argued that it is an expansion of government intervention and that mother nature can’t be controlled by legislation.
